
This fanfic contains almost no backbone, no relation to the Return of the Wardens timeline, and is meant to be for fun, something along the lines of Prodigy Comedies.
Prologue[]
"Come on! We gotta hurry up before we're late for class!" Said Ansat, running really fast.
"I really think we shouldn't have stayed up all night playing videogames!" Said Ben, flying behind him.
Suddenly, they w
"ANSAT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO RUN IN THE HALLS?!" Yelled Gale.
He then sighed.
"I'll let you off with a warning instead of giving you detention."
Ansat and Ben walk to class and make it the second the bell rings.
Episode 1: The Chapter That Kicks Off the Story[]
At lunch, a dark figure appears infront of Ansat.
"Listen, I'm pretty sure I don't owe you money." Said Ansat.
"My boss has been watching you.." Said the figure.
"Yeah and?"is
"He told me to capture you! My name is Sasha Diamondsnow, and I'm here to capture you!"
"Catch this!" Said Ansat.
Ansat runs around her before Ben traps her in a bubble made out of fire. He then picks her up and rolls her out the door.
"How were you able to that?" Asked Ansat.
"I just stayed after class to come up with my own skills!" Said Ben.
After school, Ansat and Ben were walking to the dorms when they were stopped by Sasha, again.
"Beware Omelet Scrambleface." she said.
Ansat and Ben immediately burst out into laughter. "What kind of a name is Omelet?" Said Ben.
"It's like whoever named him wasn't even trying!" Said Ansat.
"You will pay for disrespecting my master!" Yelled Sasha. She then froze Ansat in ice until Ben used a fire spell.
"Stop making me look bad!" Said Sasha.
"Time for some Extreme Speed!" Said Ansat. He used his Extreme Speed attack on Sasha, sending her flying through the roof. Ansat turned around to find himself point blank range of the same angry fairy.
"Ansat!" Gale said in a cold tone while pointing to the detention room.
At Omelet's lair, Sasha was telling Omelet about Ansat and Ben.
"Earlier today, the younger one trapped me in a bubble of fire and rolled me out the door!" She said.
"Well, then!" Said Omelet. "We have to waste money and time capturing these wizards! They have the tools necessary to help us!"
They then both did an evil laugh as the screen fades to black (Wait this is a fanfic not a TV show).
Episode 2: (W)hole Lotta Trouble[]
The next day, Ansat was running through Firefly Forest when he runs by a pretty girl. "Wait, is th?" Said Ansat as he skids to a stop.
"Wait, it wasn't. I'mma keep going!" Ansat keeps running while the girl chases after him. "Come here, hot stuff!" Said the girl. Ansat ran faster until he ran straight into a tree. "S-sorry, but I'm not interested!" Said Ansat.
The girl kept walking closer and closer until Ansat decided to fire an Ion Cannon at her, knocking her into Sasha, who happened to be behind her.
"DAMMIT!" Said Sasha. "Stacy, you're fired!"
The girl walked away but not without saying; "I didn't even like that twerp anyways."
Ansat was running away when he ran into Flora. "Ansat!" She yelled.
"One day, your speed will get you into trouble, you know!"
"It won't!" Said Ansat, being cocky as usual. Ansat then proceeded to run straight into a deep hole.
"Nothin' a little speed can't fix!" He said. Ansat tries to run out of the hole, but it's too deep. "You're kidding me!".
Two whole hours pass before Ben finally realizes that Ansat's missing. Ben flies to Skywatch. "Hey Eugene, have you seen Ansat?"
"Nope! Not since he helped me with mah crops." Said Eugene.
Ben flies to Shipwreck Shore. "Have you seen Ansat?" Asked Ben.
"No, and for my ship's sake, I hope he never comes back." Said Eve.
Ben flies to Shiverchill Mountains. "Bok, you seen Ansat?" He asked.
"No, tiny flying wizard." Said Bok.
Ben looks all over the island until he finds Ansat in a hole.
"Ansat! What're you doing in that hole?" Asked Ben.
"I fell in!" replied Ansat.
"AND I DID IT!" Said Sasha. "I dug that hole knowing that speed boy would be too stupid to look out!"
Ben flies in and pulls Ansat out of the hole.
"Well now that I'm out, might as well kick your a**!"
Ansat and Ben grab Sasha, drop her down the hole, grab some angry Forest Neeks, throw them down the hole, then seal up the hole. Sasha can be heard screaming while Ansat and Ben give each other a fist bump.
Omelet, who had been watching from a camera in his lair, is visibly enraged. "I HATE THAT HALF BRAINED HEDGEHOG!!"
Episode 3: Triple Trouble[]
One day, Ansat and Ben were heading to a movie when they were stopped by Sasha.
"Not now!" Said Ansat. "We're going to miss the previews!" Said Ben.
"Here are some tickets!" Said Sasha.
"These tickets are counterfeit!" Said Ansat.
"And they're not even for the movie we're going to!" Said Ben. Ansat and Ben race off past Sasha. Sasha heads back to Omelet's lair.
"They didn't buy it." She said.
"Rats!" Said Omelet. "It was the cheapest thing I could think of!"
"Why don't we use the cloning machine?" Said Sasha.
"That's a GREAT idea!" Said Omelet.
Sasha walks inside the cloning machine while Omelet programs it to make 2 more Sashas.
"Perfect!" Said Omelet "Now go get those wizards!"
At the movie, Sasha sneaks into the movie only to be thrown out. Sasha Number 2 sneaks under the chairs and grabs Ben by the ankle. "Ansat, something's grabbin' my ankle!" Whispered Ben.
Ansat threw a piece of popcorn at Sasha 2's hand and she let go.
Sasha 3 appeared in front of the movie.
"ANSAT LIGHTNINGHEART AND BENJAMIN FIRESTORM, BOW DOWN TO OMELET SCRAMBLEFACE!" She yelled. the entire crowd started jeering.
"BOOO!!" "DOWN IN FRONT, A-HOLE!"
The crowd then started throwing whatever they had in their hands at her (One person threw a whole staff).
Ansat and Ben dashed up to Sasha 3 and took her out with a few well placed Falling Star Smashes. But then Sashas 1 and 2 arrived.
"What's going on?" Said Ansat.
"Omelet cloned me!" Said Sasha.
Suddenly, Sasha 3 gets up and joins Sashas 1 and 2. All 3 Sashas use a 3 Shadow Shocks that spit into 3 more Shadow Shocks creating 9 Shadow Shocks.
Suddenly, Ansat's perception of time slows down by a ton. Everything was moving in ultra slow motion while Ansat moved normally. Ansat fired 5 nonmoving Falling Star Strikes at all 3 Sashas, chewed some gum and stuck in underneath the Sashas, fired 10 Ion Cannons, and stole a bucket of popcorn.
Time went back to normal as chaos unfolded. First, the Sashas tried to move, but couldn't, then the projectiles hit. Finally, the guy Ansat stole the bucket of popcorn from noticed it was gone.
All three Sashas were sent flying all the way to Omelet's lair where they then fuse into one. "What happened?" Asked Omelet.
"Those two wizards..." Said Sasha.
"I HATE THAT HALF BRAINED HEDGEHOG!!" Said Omelet.
Episode 4: Omelet's Mother Pt. 1[]
Ansat and Ben were rushing to go eat at a new pizza place when Omelet himself appeared out of nowhere. "Who's this dork?" Asked Ben. "I dunno." Said Ansat. "I'm Omelet Scrambleface!" Said Omelet. "So you're Sasha's incompetent and buffoonish boss?" Said Ansat. "I sure am-Hey!" Said Omelet.
Omelet used a Shadow Shock on Ansat before getting knocked away by Ben. Omelet landed at his base, where he saw his mother. "Mommy? Am I hallucinating?" Said Omelet. "YOU'RE NOT HALLUCINATING, YOU EXCUSE FOR A SON!!" Said his mother. "NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A WIZARD TO KILL!!"
"B-But Mommy, we just capture the wizard!" Said Omelet. "SHUT UP!!" Yelled his mother. "I CAN'T BELIEVE I USED TO LOVE YOU!!" Omelet's Mother took off on her hoverboard to where Ansat and Ben were. "Man, I can't believe that they charge 1,000 gold for one slice!" Said Ansat. "They're gonna be bankrupt by the end of the month." Said Ben. Suddenly, Omelet's Mother shows up and thrashes them over the head, knocking them out.
To Be Continued or some crap...
Episode 4 and a Half: Omelet's Mother Part 2.[]
Ansat and Ben were dragged to Omelet's lair. "This is how you take care of your enemies, son." Said Mama Omelet. She then threw them in a dungeon to be tortured. Ansat and Ben woke up, with no memory of the last 2 hours and feeling pretty hungry. "I wanna get outta here!" Said Ben. "We will!" Said Ansat. "Just gimme some time to think." Ansat thought until he came up with an idea. "The walls are made of stone!" He said.
"What?" Said Ben. "The walls are made of stone! What are stones weak to? Erosion! Which involves water! The answer is water!" Said Ansat. "Nice idea and all, but one problem." Said Ben. "What's that?" Said Ansat. "We don't know any water type spells!" Said Ben. "We got water balloons from Summerfest!" Said Ansat. "But for that to make an impact, we'd have to throw them at the speed of- oh wait." Said Ben.
Ben handed Ansat his water balloons as Ansat threw them at the wall, causing enough force to burst a hole in the wall. Ansat and Ben dash through the hole and Ben flies Ansat to the top of Omelet's tower where he, Sasha and his Mother are having dinner. "More wine, Mother?" Said Omelet. "Of course, son!" Said his mother.
"Instead of having wine, you're gonna whine when I defeat you!" Said Ansat. "I thought I locked you in the dungeon!" Said Mama Omelet. "It was a matter of science and speed!" Said Ben. Ansat dashed towards Sasha and knocked her into a vat of mutagen. Ben took out his laser gun, and fired at Omelet, knocking him into a wall. Mama Omelet was the only one left. Ansat was running at her when he tripped over a wrench and started rolling in a ball position. He rammed into Mama Omelet, she was flying around the room until Ben trapped her in a flame bubble, burning Mama Omelet as she keeps flying around the room. Mama Omelet finally stops flying around the room, more injured than Sasha or Omelet. Ansat and Ben dash out of the tower, feeling satisfied.
"Son, I see how you always lose to that half brained hedgehog. I want to say that I'm sorry for yelling at you and thinking you're a disappointment. I love you!" Said Mama Omelet. "I love you too mama!" Said Omelet. "But do you want to know who I hate?".
"Who?" Asked Mama Omelet.
"I HATE THAT HALF BRAINED HEDGEHOG!!".
Episode 5: Big Hex's Electric Attack[]
Ansat and Ben were running through The Epics Subspace. "Stop that!" Said Macha. "You'll disturb the Epics!"
"I thought the Epics died out?" Said Ben. "The Epics did die out because nobody bought my merch, but before they died out, I encased them in peanut brittle!" "Why of all things would you encase them in peanut brittle?" Asked Ansat. "Shadow Magic can't get through peanut Brittle!" Said Macha.
"Did you mistake peanut brittle for Astral Magic?" Said Ben. "No!" Said Macha. "This worked for years!". Ansat and Ben, clearly thinking this is a joke, keep on running until Omelet appears. "Have you seen The Puppetmaster?" He said. "I think he lives on Floating Island!" Said Ben. Ansat, Ben or Macha didn't notice Omelet putting a piece of paper on the ground.
"Omelet, did you take a fart? It reeks of eggs and shadow!" Said Ansat. Omelet sniffed the air. His face then turned red and he went away almost as fast as Ansat. "I'm gonna wait for this to air out!" Said Ansat.
Ansat, Ben, and Macha hop off of the Epics Subspace. Meanwhile in the Epics Holding Place, Big Hex suddenly wakes up, in all that peanut brittle, and his eyes glow red. Suddenly, he somehow breaks out of the peanut brittle and stomps into the portal that leads to the main area.
Big Hex, corrupted by Shadow Magic, begins to cause havoc on the Epics Subspace, until he hops down to Skywatch. He started causing havoc all around the clouds, until he had enough and hopped down from Skywatch and into Shiverchill Mountains.
Now, Big Hex, having Storm and Shadow magic, means that this will not turn out well for the people living here. Big Hex fires an Ion Cannon at Bok, who is sent flying into a wall. Coincidentally, Ansat and Ben were there, having wrapped up another snowboarding session. Ansat takes out his phone.
"Macha?" He said. "Yes?" Said Macha. "I don't mean to alarm you, but peanut brittle is useless against Epics." Ansat said. Macha, having hung up the phone, came speeding towards Shiverchill Mountain. But because he's not Ansat, he comes in 2 minutes.
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!" He yelled. Suddenly, Omelet was in the air on his hoverboard. He lowered the hoverboard. "I DID THIS!! THAT PIECE OF PAPER WAS MEANT TO CORRUPT A RANDOM EPIC!!" He yelled. As he said that, Big Hex approached him, and gave him a friendly charge of electricity.
"How can you not get killed by Big Hex?" Asked Ben. "Because I was very high up on the Order of Influence ranking, I learned how to corrupt pets and animals!" Said Omelet. "Until I got fired for embezzling funds... But I still kept most of my magic!"
Ben snuck up to Big Hex and fired his laser ray at him, catching him off guard and weakening him a lot more that he should be weakened. Ben then reversed the spell on Big Hex. "Look, Ansat! My first pet and it's an Epic!" Said Ben.
"No, that Epic needs to go back to the Subspace. Now that it's alive, it needs to make clones for more wizards who buy my merch." Said Macha. "Either way, you're still gonna get fired for crappy guarding of the place and letting an Epic run loose." Said Ansat.
"How about this," Said Macha. "Ben can be my assistant on weekends and watch over Big Hex. And then when he gets enough copper coins, I can make him a cloned Big Hex!" "I'll take that offer!" Said Ben. Omelet attempted to sneak away, but Ansat blasted him with an Ion Cannon into the sky.
"I'll say it loud, and I'll say it proud; I HATE THAT HALF BRAINED HEDGEHOG!!"
Episode 6: Planetary Peril Part 1[]
Ansat was running around randomly. It was the weekend so that meant no academy and Ben was at work, so Ansat was looking for something to do. He runs over to Shipwreck Shore. "Hey, Eve!" Said Ansat. "Why are you here? I thought you fell down a hole and died!" Said Eve. "Never mind that, what the hell do you want, Half Brained Hedgehog?"
"Do ya got anything to trade?" Said Ansat. "No, I don't because a fat guy on a hoverboard stole my treasure, so if you get it back, I might let you have something." Said Eve. Ansat immediately sped off. He ran across trees and mountains and cliffs until he found Omelet with a bag of treasure.
Ansat chased him up a bridge, which is leading into space for some reason. "HEY WANNABE BREAKFAST!! GIMME THE TREASURE!!" He yelled. "NEVER, YOU IDIOT!" Yelled Omelet. Suddenly, the bridge started retracting from Earth. Ansat kept running until he got to where the bridge led to: a planet.
Ansat, now stuck on an unknown planet, begins to run around until he finds a castle. "Maybe these people know where the hell I am!" Said Ansat. He walked inside the castle (The drawbridge was down), where he found a man in a cage. "What the- what're you doing in there?" Said Ansat. "I'm Ted. I got trapped in here because I wrote a news article about the king enslaving men for petty reasons." Said the man. Ansat breaks open the cage by whacking it super fast with his Magite Staff.
"Thank you, kid. Now I have to go and publish some more!" Said Ted. Ansat turned around to the direction of the exit, only to find the king standing behind both of them. "YOU'RE GOING IN THE BRIG!!" Said the king in a demonic voice. He manages to capture Ted, but Ansat gets away. Ansat was running at full speed, until he crashes into a tree.
TO BE CONTINUED, FOR THE SECOND TIME.
Episode 6 and a Half: Planetary Peril Part 2[]
Ansat was unconscious. All he could hear was the sound of a voice. "Alright, I'll have to give him mouth to mouth!" said the voice. Suddenly, Ansat woke up. Ansat was disoriented. "Aw man, that hurt more than that time Benni knocked me from Skywatch to the ground!"
"Oh good, you're awake!" said a girl. Ansat looked confused. "Where the hell am I?" he asked. "You're at my house." said the girl. "My name's Rose. What's yours?"
"I'm Ansat Lightningheart!" said Ansat.
"Lightningheart? That name means you're from that island on the other planet, right?" asked Rose. Ansat nodded.
"I was chasing some fat guy with a bag full of treasure up here, but the bridge retracted so now I'm here!"
"Anyways, I gotta book it back to Earth so I can go see a movie!" said Ansat, forgetting about Ted.
Ansat was about to run out the door when Rose stopped him. "I wouldn't recommend going out that way, there are a lot of guards waiting to kill you if you step out of line." she said. "Whatever," said Ansat. "I'm fast enough to avoid them!"
Ansat dashes out the door, and alerted the attention of several guards, but since he went so fast, they couldn't see where he was. Rose looked amazed. Ansat dashes over to a space pod and sees two people inside. "Go away!" said one man in the pod. "Me and my wife are trying to escape to Earth so we don't have to deal with the king's tyrannical BS!"
One of the guards approaches Ansat, and tries to subdue him, but the Wizard with Attitude was too fast for him. Instead, the guard captured the two people inside the pod.
Ansat dashed towards a rocket, but that took off. "Is everyone gonna leave today?!" said the frustrated wizard. Ansat sped towards a guard and ran in circles around him. The guard was confused, and tried to strike Ansat, but only managed to hit one of his afterimages. Ansat charged at him, and knocked him out at the speed of 0.1 seconds. Ansat drags the guard's unconscious body to a ditch, and throws him in it. Unfortunately, the other guards were watching and immediately charge at Ansat. Ansat is still too fast for the guards, but they Zerg Rush him and cause him some trouble. Eventually, they tie up Ansat and bring him to the king for a trial.
"Ansat Lightningheart, you stand accused of coming to my kingdom, breaking the speed limit, and assaulting my guards!" said the king.
Ansat, not happy to be on trial, wriggles his arm free and flips off the king. "We can't have that! Men, break his arm!" said the king. A guard comes up to Ansat, but Ansat grabs a nearby wrench and bashes the guard's skull with it. The king tries to have Ansat shot, but the guards shoot worse than the Stormtroopers from Star Wars, because they all miss Ansat. Ansat unties himself with his free arm, and runs out of the castle, and into Omelet, who happened to come to the castle to see Ansat on trial.
Ansat gets up and runs even further when he sees a bomb. Omelet walks up to the king, who just ran outside the castle. "What was that bomb for?" asked Omelet. "I was gonna blow up the planet and the citizens for not liking me." said the king. Suddenly, the bomb starts beeping. It beeps faster and faster.
The citizens get word of the bomb and pile onto rockets and spaceships and escape pods galore. Ansat keeps running until he finds a bridge that leads to Earth. Ansat runs up the bridge, while Omelet runs after him.
The bomb sets off. The planet explodes. The citizens, Ansat, and Omelet are okay, but Ansat and Omelet have to keep running faster to not die in the vacuum of space. Suddenly, Omelet gets out his hoverboard and flies down to Earth, leaving Ansat by himself. Ansat keeps running, and running, feeling faint, but he crashes onto Earth, onto Shipwreck Shore, in front of Eve.
"Whoa, mate! Did you see that explosion?" said Eve. "I saw it..." said Ansat. "Anyways, I found my bag of treasure, so you can have one thing!" said Eve. She dug around in her bag and gave Ansat an old sock. Ansat was angry. "YOU MOTHERFU-"
Episode 7: Ansat the Role Model[]
Ansat was fighting Pippet in the Earth Tower while Florian watched. Ansat fired a Falling Star Smash, and it hit Pippet in the face. Pippet lied on the ground, in pain. "You can never beat me, you A**hole!" said Ansat. "Yes I can!"said Pippet.
Ansat smirked. "You're so weak, you make a cricket seem strong!" he said. Pippet fired a shadow shock straight at Ansat's face. Ansat flipped the bird at Pippet before jumping on his stomach. Pippet threw up blood before wriggling out and flying away. Ansat fired an Ion Cannon at Pippet and shot him out of the sky.
Ansat turned to leave the Earth Tower when Florian stopped him. "You need to be a better role model to the younger students!" said Florian. He pointed to some children he was about to teach, who had witnessed the whole battle, trash talking, swearing, and overkill and all.
"Whatever!" said Ansat.
"Not 'whatever'! These children are gonna grow up and start acting like you!" said Florian.
"How?" said Ansat.
"They'll start swearing, then start disrespecting authority, then they'll start being so mean to everyone else to the point that they have little to no friends!" said Florian.
"But, Florian, even though I have those traits, I still managed to be successful in terms of monster battles, and I’m not dead, or in jail!" said Ansat.
"I don't care! These children might not be so successful! If you do it, I'll let you skip class for 3 days!" said Florian.
Ansat ran out without saying another word. The next day, Ansat was running to the academy, when he came across a mural on the side of a building that looked very weird looking. "Boy, what an ugly mural!" said Ansat.
He then ran by a TV store, and saw a bunch of kids watching what was in one of the TVs. It looked like an R rated movie with unspeakable things happening that I will not describe so my rating doesn't get bumped up to R. Ansat was about to run past them, but he heard Florian's voice ringing in his head. "I'll let you skip class for 3 days..!" the voice said.
Ansat dashed inside the TV store, and told an employee what happened. "Why should I care? It's not my fault people make R rated movies!" said the employee.
Ansat got mad, and fired an Ion Cannon at the employee, causing him to faint from fear. He then changed the channel, and went on his way.
At the academy, Ansat was talking to Ben while walking. "...So yeah, I was gonna play baseball with Pippet’s head." said Ansat. "That's cool," said Ben. "What’re ya gonna do after that?"
"Go to Tony’s." said Ansat. Suddenly, Ansat has stopped by Florian.
"Ansat, I got a report from the TV store that you attacked an employee. Is this true?"
"No..." said Ansat, lying.
"Okay, making you act like a role model clearly isn't working, so instead, I'm gonna have you go into the little kids' classroom, and give life lessons or something like that!" said Florian.
Ansat was in shock, and tried to dash away, but Florian fey stepped behind him and grabbed him by the shirt. "Superspeed can't beat actual teleportation, Ansat." he said. He dragged Ansat to a room where the little kids were learning how to do a Spark Sphere.
"Kids, Ansat over here is going to teach you how to be good citizens every day!" said Florian while Ansat was shaking his head. Ansat got left in the classroom, forced to teach the little kids.
"Okay, kids, it's time to learn how to escape from a situation you don't wanna be in!" said the irritated speedster. Ansat broke a window, and jumped out of it.
Ansat ran away until he ran right into Florian. "Ansat!! WHY IN THE FAEN WIND ARE YOU OUT HERE AND NOT INSIDE THE CLASSROOM?! AND WHY IS THAT WINDOW BROKEN?!" yelled the Earth Fairy.
"Calm down, dude!" said Ansat. Florian did not calm down. Instead, he grabbed Ansat by the shirt and dragged him to Earth Tower. "Ansat, if you don't get your act together, I'll have about 20 Ansats to deal with in the future!" yelled Florian.
Ansat did not listen, and instead ran away. Florian flew after him, attempting to grab him again. He Fey Stepped behind Ansat, but Ansat dashed away before he got grabbed by the shirt again.
Ansat ran up a wall, and onto the ceiling (don't ask how that works). Florian decided to wait, knowing that gravity would affect Ansat soon enough. Sure enough, gravity did affect Ansat, and he fell onto a desk, and onto a framed picture of Florian's children, Jade and Hunter Landcrafter. Florian didn't speak, he only walked towards Ansat.
Ansat, sensing that Florian might try to murder him, runs away. Florian kept walking. Soon, walking turned to running, then running turned to flying. Ansat ran through a shuttle loop made from stone. Florian follows him.
Ansat tries to shake off Florian, but every attempt failed. Finally, Ansat tries running through the sea, but Florian follows him down there. Ansat runs at a much slower rate underwater, so Florian has an edge.
Ansat hides out in a coral reef, and Florian pretends not to notice. Ansat stays in the reef for 30 seconds before feeling the need to breathe, so he swims back up to the surface, but can't make it to air in time, and falls unconscious.
Two hours later, Ansat wakes up and is staring directly face to face with Florian, who has calmed down a little. "Ansat, I've decided to forgive you." said Florian.
"Really?"
"Yes, but you're still in trouble for all the things you did, so instead of skipping school for 3 days, you get detention for 3 days!"
"Crap baskets..."
"By the way, you're off the hook for the role model thing. I had Ben do it, since he's a lot nicer than you are!" said Florian.
Cut to Ben teaching all of the little kids how to make Tek-Y4s that can destroy almost everything in their path.
Episode 8: Robotic Rampage[]
(All OCs that are not mine belong to their respective owners)
Omelet was dumping out his acid from his acid vat onto the grass, when he sees a body fall out. "What the hell was that?" he said. Omelet studied the body closely and found that is was Sasha's body. "I thought that half brained hedgehog killed you!" said Omelet. Omelet dragged the body to his tower, and began turning her into a cyborg. Sasha woke up, ready to kill. She went outside the tower when she saw Ansat and Ben, not doing much.
”I WILL GET YOU, HALF-BRAI-“
Ansat yawns. “Half-brained hedgehog, I know.”
Sasha turns her arm into a swirling blade and begins shooting him with laser eyes.
”Aw shoot, now what?” Ben yells.
"Time to speed this up!" said Ansat. He ran at Sasha, but her perception of time slowed down, so to her, Ansat was running as fast as a normal 14 year old. She dodged his attack, and shot him in the back.
Ben flew at Sasha, but gets shot too.
Ansat gets up and runs even faster, billowing a dust cloud around Sasha. She is momentarily blinded, giving Ben the opportunity to strike.
As Ben blasts her with a laser gun, she dodges and knocks Ansat down. “Ow!”
With a yell of frustration, Ansat rushes towards her and dodges the blast. “It’s a shame you had to become a robot to beat us! Sure you don’t need batteries?”
Sasha turns towards him, exploding a chunk of earth directly under Ansat’s feet. He scrambles out of the way.
Ben flies at Sasha and punches her in the face while she's distracted, knocking her over. "Wow, one good punch and you're down? You're weaker than Pippet!" said Ben. Ansat and Ben go off to continue their business.
Sasha gets back up and starts formulating a plan. She decides to kill the duo when they least expect it.
Ansat was in the lush landscape of Pallet Pass, about to start running. Ansat revved up for a split second, then took off running. Ansat was running so fast, he didn't notice the spike strip he was about to run over. So Ansat ran over the spike strip, knocking some coins out of him. "That was weird..." he said before he took off running again. Ansat kept running until he ran over another spike strip, knocking a bag of coins out of him. Ansat kept running, and ran over the third spike strip, but this time, he tumbles to the ground, all bloodied. Sasha appears from behind a tree with a devilish grin on her face.
Ben was flying to a floating island to see a rare plant species, when a bomber plane hovered above him and started dropping bombs. Ben dodges almost every bomb before landing on the island. The plane still kept dropping bombs while Ben kept dodging. The Floating Island shook and shook. Ben, not wanting to let Fatima get hurt, flies off the island before getting hit by a bomb, falling to the sea, then getting another bomb dropped on him. Sasha lands the bomber plane on the Floating Island and gets out of it.
Rachel was dancing with her newly acquired Tek-Y4, when Sasha shows up with her arm turned into a swirling blade. Rachel notices the blade and imagines her Tek-Y4 was giant and had a shotgun, but Sasha throws a water balloon, and Rachel gets distracted. Sasha kicks Rachel into the dirt and blasts her with her laser.
Eventually, Ansat gets up and drags himself to the hospital, where he's put in another healing chamber. Ben flies up out of the ocean and sits on the Floating Island. After 2 days, Sasha has taken over every part of the island, but the Academy (because even Sasha knows better than to mess with Gale), Ansat and Ben have gone into hiding, and it seems all hope is lost.
Omelet was sitting in his tower, watching over the island he took over. "I've done it! And that Half Brained Hedgehog and his 12 year old sidekick couldn't defeat me!" he laughed. Sasha was patrolling the island, making sure no one stepped out of line. She spotted a lady pocketing some apples she found. "You there! You stole those apples, now prepare to die!" said Sasha. "Please, I need food for my children!" said the lady. Sasha fired up her arm cannon, when there was a blue flash. Sasha almost gasped when she saw who it was. "Listen, you bucket of bolts! Apples grow on trees, you don't need to kill someone for taking a few!" said a familiar voice. It was Ansat. "So you want to die again?" said Sasha. "I'll kill you for good!" declared Ansat.
Ansat grabbed his Magite Staff, and prepared for combat. Sasha turned her arm into a sword. Ansat leaped at Sasha, and hit her with his staff. Sasha didn't look all that hurt, and slashed at Ansat, slicing off some of his hair. Ansat charged at Sasha and tried to kick her in the head, but Sasha grabbed his leg, turned her arm into a laser cannon, and shot him in the other leg. Ansat wriggled free, but had to hop away. Sasha caught up to him, and grabbed him by the neck. "You Half Brained Hedgehog! You could never defeat me!" she said. Suddenly, there was an orange flash, and Sasha fell over. It was Ben. "Hey, Ansat!" said Ben. He helped Ansat up, and flew away.
Sasha got back up, and ran after Ansat, who was severely low on energy. Ansat ran away, but Sasha chased after him with her jet boosters. Ansat ran through Lamplight Town, which was in the process of being rebuilt into 'Omelet City'. Ansat ran across bridges and rooftops, but Sasha chased after him. Ansat ran across the side of a building, then hopped off the side. While in midair, he whistled, and Ben flew over, and grabbing him by the hands. Ben flew really fast, but Sasha flew just as fast.
Ben dropped Ansat off at a winding road in Firefly Forest, and Ansat hit the ground running. Sasha still flew after him, intent on killing him. Ansat ran across the path, dodging robots and trees. Eventually, Ansat made it out of there, and dashed over to Shipwreck Shore, thinking Sasha would short circuit in the water. Ansat ran into the sea, and it turns out, Sasha did not short circuit in the water. Ansat ran deeper and deeper, but felt like his head was going to explode, so he swam back up to the surface. Sasha followed him, but Ansat swam back to shore.
Sasha followed him without fail. "Hey, Bolt Brain! I bet you couldn't catch me before exploding!" said Ansat. "Fine then! I'd still catch you anyways! Activating Self Destruct sequence in 2 minutes!" said Sasha. Ansat dashed off to Omelet's tower and Sasha followed him. Omelet, who was looking out the window, saw a trail of dust billowing behind a wizard from the shoreline. "No... It can't be!" said Omelet. Soon enough, Ansat was at the tower. Ansat dashed inside, and Sasha followed him. "1 minute remaining!" said Sasha. Ansat dashed up the winding tower, and got to the top floor. "Heya, Breakfast Wannabe!" said Ansat. "I brought ya a little present!"
Suddenly, Sasha flew into the top. "5... 4... 3... 2... 1..." she said. Ansat opened a window and hopped out, while Omelet looked on in horror. "Why did I add a Self Destruct mode..?" he asked himself. Sasha exploded, blowing up the tower. Ansat ran back towards Lamplight Town, with Ben following behind. He stopped at the center of the town, and leaped forwards, feeling accomplished. Nobody cheered though. "Your little race caused all this property damage!" said a man. "All that happened was a renaming of the town!" said a woman. "This is going to cost millions of coins to fix! You better be prepared to pay for it!" said another man.
And so, Omelet was rebuilding his tower, while Ansat was running from an angry mob.
Episode 9: Mary-Sue Joins the Academy Part 1: The Introduction[]
Ansat was sitting in class, wondering if it would be okay to ditch class, when the teacher arrived with an unfamiliar looking person behind her. She was wearing an Academy Uniform, not knowing almost everybody else wasn't wearing one. "This is Mary-Sue Porter." said the teacher. "She's from an island all the way on the other side of the world."
Everybody was looking at her in awe. Ansat, was not. As the day went on, the teachers praised Mary-Sue, everyone wanted to be her friend. The cool reputation that Ansat had to spend 4 years building up was achieved by Mary-Sue in just a day.
The next day, everyone came to school in their Academy Uniforms. Everyone except Ansat, making him look very out of place. The teacher walked into the classroom. "Alright, class. I have an important announcement! Mary-Sue scored 100% in the test we had on Storm Magic yesterday.
Ansat had also scored 100% on the test, being somewhat of an expert on Storm Magic, but the teacher had only announced Mary-Sue as having gotten 100%. The whole class cheered for Mary-Sue. Everyone except Ansat.
After class, Mary-Sue was outside, battling a titan which just happened to wander onto the campus. She used a Volcannon, which made Ansat think she was a Fire wizard. She then used Chill Out, which made Ansat think she was holding a relic. She then used a Torrent, making Ansat think she had a concealed wand somewhere. She then used Forest's Hurricane. Now Ansat knew something was up, since a wizard could only use 3 different elements max. Mary-Sue used a Falling Star Smash on the titan, making it weak. She the rescued it. Everyone cheered. Everyone except Ansat.
Ansat was jogging through Lamplight Town, trying to find Sir Vey to get some free pizza, when Mary-Sue blazed past him. Ansat was jogging at 9 mph, so he picked up speed, and matched Mary-Sue. Mary-Sue picked up the pace, and accidentally ran Ansat off the path, and into a house. She got the free pizza, and everyone cheered. Everyone except Ansat.
As the weeks went on, Mary-Sue kept being better than everyone else, which greatly angered Ansat. Ansat tried to win his semi popularity back, but everyone found the attempt pathetic. Everyone ignored Ansat. Ben didn't ignore Ansat, but was much more interested in Mary-Sue than hanging out with Ansat.
One night, Mary-Sue held a concert. Where was the concert? In Pallet Pass, near Ansat's treehouse. Ben had gotten ready to go to the concert, and dragged Ansat along. Mary-Sue's concert was so good, everyone else from the island came to hear it. Between each song, everyone clapped and cheered. Everyone except Ansat. Mary-Sue noticed that Ansat wasn't happy, but didn't want to try and cheer him up while the concert was happening.
The next day, everyone except Ben was ignoring Ansat. A few students even started a petition to make him have class outside, away from everyone else. One jacka** student spread a rumor that Ansat was a villain, and that's why he didn't like Mary-Sue. This caught the attention of Mary-Sue, who vowed to 'redeem him'. Every day, she would encourage him to do good things, like donate to charity, help out at food kitchens, and be a good person. Ansat, of course, didn't do anything she suggested. Mary-Sue tried everything she could, but she couldn't get Ansat to stop being 'evil'. At one point, Mary-Sue walked up to Ansat in the halls. Ansat ran away, but Mary-Sue was faster, and she cornered him. "Listen, if you want to be good, maybe just change your personality!" said Mary-Sue. This was the last straw for Ansat, as he already did change his personality for Olivia, but she still ended up with Felix. "THAT'S IT!" yelled Ansat. A crowd of students came to see what was going on.
"I'M SO F**KING SICK OF YOU! YOU'VE RUINED MY SOCIAL STATUS AND MY SELF ESTEEM! MARY-SUE PORTER, I CHALLENGE YOU TO AN ARENA BATTLE AT 7:00 PM NEXT WEEK!!" yelled Ansat. He then walked away. Mary-Sue fell on her knees, and looked like she was about to cry. All the students (except Ben, who has decided to stop obsessing over Mary-Sue) rushed to help her.
"It's okay, we'll help you win against that Half Brained Hedgehog!" said a student. Everyone got to work, helping train Mary-Sue for the huge fight.
Episode 9 and a Half: Mary-Sue Joins the Academy Part 2: The Battle[]
The entire week, Ansat was training for the battle. He and his pets came up with strategies, and used Ben as a sparring partner, while the rest of the Academy students trained Mary-Sue. The upcoming battle was highly advertised. It was 'The Wizard with Attitude' (Ansat) vs 'The New Girl' (Mary-Sue).
The rules were that of a standard Arena battle, but:
- As long as you don't hit the ground outside of the Arena, you're safe. This, of course, means that you could fly into space and not be out of bounds.
- You can have more than two pets with you.
- Epic Attacks are allowed, but that would be absurd, as the remaining Epics are frozen in peanut brittle (with the exception of Big Hex, who was unfrozen and under Ben's care)
The week passed. Ansat and Mary-Sue entered the Arena on opposite sides, with their pets behind them.
Ansat had Aracute, Prodraxis, and Shivertusk.
Mary Sue had Embershed, the Sea Titan she rescued last chapter, and Chill and Char.
"How do you have an Epic?! They're frozen in peanut brittle!" said Ansat. "It just came to my house one day and let me catch it!" said Mary-Sue.
The announcer was in the center of the ring. "Now welcoming both members of the Academy, Ansat Lightningheart, and Mary-Sue Porter!" he said. Ansat got into a martial arts stance. "I hope me beating you will convince you to reform!" said Mary-Sue. Ansat didn't respond. He only scowled. The announcer started the fight, and Ansat charged at Mary-Sue. He jumped up, Storm Magic sparkling at his fingertips, and fired an Ion Cannon down at Mary-Sue.
When the smoke cleared, Mary-Sue wasn't there, but it turns out, she teleported. The whole crowd started cheering, but that made Ansat angrier. He charged at Mary-Sue, only for her to hold him at an arm's length away with her arm. "If you stop this, everything will be okay." she said. Ansat didn't stop running, even though he wasn't moving, Ansat started kicking up dust. The battlefield was covered in dust, which blocked the fight for the most part. All you could see were fists, and Ion Cannons, and every other elemental spell you could think of. The dust cleared, and Ansat had blood trickling down his mouth, while Mary-Sue was unscathed.
"Please stop this, I don't wanna hurt you!" said Mary-Sue. "You already did!" said Ansat. Ansat fired Star Smashes at Mary-Sue, but she kept dodging. Ansat started revving up, and a Storm aura started to form. Ansat took off and started dashing at 60 mph. Mary-Sue charged at Ansat, and they both butted heads. "Face it, villain! I know everything you're going to do!" said Mary-Sue. "You may know every maneuver I'm going to do, but that's not going to help you since I know every spell you're going to cast! Strange, isn't it?" taunted Ansat.
Mary-Sue leaped up, and fired a Forest's Hurricane at Ansat, but he dodged it. Ansat grabbed his Magite Staff, and used it as a lever to Pole Vault up to Mary-Sue. Ansat whacked Mary-Sue over the head, but it didn't appear to hurt her. "Fine, if you won't reform, I'll make you reform!" said Mary-Sue. She dashed at Ansat, and punched him in the face. Ansat got up, and dashed around Mary-Sue, firing Ion Cannons. Mary-Sue was knocked to the ground, and Ansat kicked her in the stomach.
Mary-Sue got up, and prepared a Thermal Prism, not from Chill and Char, but from her. The resprited Downpourtral hit Ansat, knocking him to the ground. Mary-Sue walked up to him and put her hand out. "Here, now will you reform?" she asked. Ansat smacked her hand away, feeling angry. "I'm not a villain, everyone else are just a**holes!" he said.
Ansat got up, and charged at Mary-Sue. She blocked his punches, while she would punch Ansat. The kept attacking and blocking until it appeared Mary-Sue got tired, giving Ansat an idea. Ansat jumped backwards, then leaped at Mary-Sue, while doing a triple spinning kick. The kick knocked her down. She was panting heavily.
Ansat got out his Magite Staff, and Pole Vaulted high into the air with it. He then let gravity do its thing, and dived down at Mary-Sue. Ansat summoned a Storm Aura, and Extreme Sped her. The resulting collision knocked Mary-Sue into her pets, knocking them out. Ansat walked up to Mary-Sue. "You were just 'Born Powerful', so you didn't train your stamina!" said Ansat.
The crowd was silent. Many wizards left the Arena, while a few booed. Some checked on Mary-Sue. Ben flew up to Ansat and hugged him. "The winner is Ansat Lightningheart!" said the announcer. Nobody cheered or clapped. Nobody but Ben.
The next day, everyone was chasing Ansat, throwing things at him and doing spells at him. Ansat, of course, was too fast for them, and managed to escape. Ansat was smiling, though. He had managed to beat Mary-Sue. To himself, he was the coolest person ever.
Episode 10: The Members[]
Ansat was sitting in class, when the teacher walked in. "Class, we have some new students!" she said. "Not again!" groaned Ansat. The teacher shot him a look before introducing the new students.
"Now these students are all rich, but they are still on the same level as you all, so treat them as if they're that." she said.
Five students, all dressed in blue, walked into the classroom, wearing sunglasses. "These students are transfer students from the same Island Mary-Sue is from!" said the teacher. Everyone was too awestruck. Everyone except Ansat.
Now if you're thinking I'm gonna make this chapter like the chapter about Mary-Sue, you're sorely mistaken. I don't like it when a certain piece of media reuses old plots. But before I go off on a tangent, let's get back to the story.
The students walked to their seats, and the teacher started the lesson. "We'll start today with a pop quiz! What element is weak to Fire?" said the teacher.
"Storm!" said one of the rich kids. "I'm sorry, but that wasn't the right answer." said the teacher. The kid pulled out a stack of 100 dollar bills. "What the heck are those?" asked the teacher. "Money! Now if my answer isn't the correct one, you don't get any!" said the kid. The teacher took the money, and she marked the kid's answer as correct.
Throughout the day, the new kids kept bribing everyone else with those weird green pieces of paper. After school, Ansat and Ben were playing video games in their tree house, when the rich kids climbed up the ladder and entered inside. "Nice place you got here!" said one of the kids, who was a girl with blue hair. "I'll give you 1000 dollars for it!" she said.
Ansat paused the game, stood up, and turned to face the girl. "This tree house isn't for sale!" he said. The girl smirked. "Fine then. 3000 dollars, and we can meet behind the general store tonight and make out!" she said. Ansat immediately got angrier. "Making out is lame, so no to your Femme Fataleness!" he said. "Now get out of my treehouse!"
The girl's smirk turned into a frown. "Fine then. If that's what you want..."
The girl tried to kick Ansat in the face, but he dodged. She kept trying to kick him, but he kept dodging. Ansat then returned the favor with a Karate chop to the spine. The girl quickly got back up, and tried to push Ansat into the TV, but he dodged, and she ran into Ben. Ben pushed the girl off of him, and out of the treehouse, where she fell onto the ground, startling Ansat's Aracute. Aracute burnt the girl before hissing, and she ran away. Ben and Ansat glared at the other rich kids still in the treehouse, and the other kids ran away.
Within a week, every other kid in the academy was wearing a blue jacket with a light blue and gold letter M sewed onto the front. They were a part of 'The Members Club'. They got special privileges that let them do stuff that normal wizards couldn't do. Anyone could join, but that had to pay an absurd price per month.
Ansat and Ben didn't sign up for the membership program, to prove that they could have fun, and not be members.
One day, Ansat and Ben were bored, so they snuck into a building. It turns out, the building was the base of The Members. It looked like they were having a meeting ran by the same girl who tried to buy Ansat's tree house.
The girl was presenting plans via a slideshow. One of the plans was to kill Ansat and Ben. Ansat was shocked, while Ben was fiddling with a device. Suddenly, the projector screen turned black, then, a message was shown, flashing red. The message read 'THIS CLUB IS OVER! GET OUT!'.
The girl was confused, but everyone else left. Everyone threw their blue jackets and green pieces of paper in the trash, and the girl was infuriated.
"How'd that happen?" asked Ansat. "It's from a new machine I made! It's called 'The Wireless Overrider'!" said Ben.
The girl heard the two of them talking, and walked towards them, brandishing a knife. "What a shame. I never knew a Half Brained Hedghog's 12 year old sidekick could disband my club!" she said.
She then tried to stab Ben, but he dodged, and the blade struck Ansat. Ben flew away, leaving Ansat to fight the villain again. The menacing leader slashed at Ansat's clothes, and managed to tear up his clothes. Ansat tried to run away, but the girl tripped him.
Within a few minutes, the girl had tied Ansat up to a chair, and he was trying to wriggle his way out, but to no avail. She then got a baseball bat, and began whacking him repeatedly. Ansat was bleeding and panting heavily.
The girl then got up her knife. "You're in pain? That makes me feel good! But now, I think it's time to throw away my broken toy!" she said. She was about to stab Ansat through the heart, when she got whacked over the head by a metal contuctor with a brown haired wizard with goggles wielding it.
The girl fell to the ground, and a card fell out of her pocket. Ben picked up the card. "Driver's License? What's that?" he asked.
"I don't know, it's probably something to do with carriages!" said Ansat.
Ben read the name on the card. "Stephanie Daniels."
Ben untied Ansat, and flew him back to the treehouse, where they began research on Stephanie.
"It says here that she was the most popular girl in her school, and she liked money, so she made a club designed to get more money. She's done this on 3 other islands before!" said Ben.
Ansat sighed. "Welp, some people are just really into money. It's getting late, I wanna go to bed." said Ansat.
Ben turned off his computer and got into a sleeping bag. Ansat also got into a sleeping bag, and went to sleep.
Meanwhile, at the building, Stephanie woke up. "They may have defeated me, but I'll get them one day!" she said to herself.
Episode 11: Rulers of the School[]
Ansat was sitting through another boring lesson. He was about to fall asleep when something caught his eye.
It was a boy and a girl, chatting casually. They were too far away for him to hear, but Ansat was sure that he heard the word "God", or "Peasant" at least once.
Oh well.
Ansat closed his eyes, only for class to be over. "Ancient damn it." he muttered.
The next day, everyone's favorite Wizard with Attitude was walking through the halls with his sidekick, when he saw the boy and girl walking through the hallway, dressed in clothing that Greek gods would wear.
The two were followed by a crowd of kids. Unlike every other situation, the crowd was small in comparison to the other times.
Ansat shrugged it off, as he didn't want to deal with another popular kid situation.
The next day, there were posters on the walls.
Join the Church of Emma Thunderbolt and Liam Gigadrain.
Ansat was obviously confused. Why would he worship two delusional slowpokes with a god complex?
Nevertheless, after school, the followers started to flock to a hut, so naturally, Ansat and Ben decided to see what all the hubbub was about.
As they walked inside of the hut, they saw that it was bigger on the inside.
And they also saw that there was a blood ritual going on.
Wait, what?!
No doubt this is going to piss someone off while they're reading this, so I won't go into too much detail about it.
All you need to know is that it involved a knife, a cup, and Emma drinking what was in the cup.
Oh geez, that was too much detail.
*vomits*
Where was I?
Right.
So after Ansat and Ben saw that, they decided to shut this cult down.
"Alright, we're shutting this place down!" yelled Ansat.
Everybody in the shed turned to face him.
"So, a nonbeliever?" asked Emma.
"Well, you're not a deity, so why would I believe?" replied Ansat.
Everybody stared at Ansat in disgust before taking out their wands.
Luckily, Ansat managed to escape with Ben before anything truly awful happened.
So the next day, Liam led a whole army against Ansat and Ben.
Unfortunately for the cult, Ansat and Ben were moving too fast for them.
So Ansat and Ben decided to shut it down again.
Ansat kicked down the door of the shed, and said this.
”We’re shutting this cult down!” He yelled.
Unfortunately, there was another blood ritual going on, and everybody had knives.
Everybody in the cult (minus Liam and Emma) chased Ansat and Ben.
While Ansat fought off some kids, Ben decided to cut to the chase.
He flew over to Liam, and bashed a laser gun over his head, and, he… he… uh…
He basically killed him like he was in the ROTW timeline.
Ansat was too traumatized to reply, it was the first time he’d ever seen another man die, but it wasn’t the last, Ben made sure of that, when he offed some of the followers and stole one of their hats.
Emma decided to use an All Out Attack against Ben, but missed and blew up the shed. After blowing up the shed, Emma ran away.
When all was said and done, Emma and the shed were gone.
”What the heck just happened?” Asked Ben.
”I don’t know, but I have a feeling that the ending will be pretty lackluster.” Replied Ansat.
The next day, Emma was sipping tea, acting like nothing happened. She was immortalized as “The Girl Who Led a Cult”.
See, what did Ansat tell you? Lackluster ending.
Episode 12: The Rebel and the Peacemaker[]
5 girls, Ariel, Ramona, Tess, Chase, and Petunia, one goal, to attempt to bring peace to Prodigia by helping others out. This caught the ire of one speedy orphan, but he didn't really mind, until...
One day, Petunia and her friends were walking through town when they saw a mural. This mural had some graffiti on it. The paint was red, and it was a picture of a shoe.
"Hey, someone ruined my mural!" said Petunia.
"This injustice will not stand!" said Chase, clenching her fist.
"Hey, that shoe looks familiar." said Tess.
Just then, someone wearing those familiar shoes walked by.
"Hey, wait a minute, those shoes..." said Ramona.
The girls all ran in front of Ansat, and stopped him in his tracks. They all pulled out I.D. pictures.
"Alright, in the name of the Friendship Squad, you're under arrest for vandalism!" said Ariel.
Ansat scoffed. "And why would you have the authority to arrest me?" he asked.
Silence.
"Well, you're still under arrest!" yelled Tess
Ansat stuck his tongue out at the girls before dashing off.
They all went after him on bikes.
Ansat sped through town, but he couldn't shake the trail of the girls.
Eventually, he went into a firehouse.
Except, it didn't really look like one.
The house was personalized, and it looked more like a hangout spot than a firehouse.
Nevertheless, Ansat sped in there.
Unfortunately, as he was about to find out, it was the base of the Friendship Squad.
The girls went inside the house, and found Ansat munching on some chips.
"Hey! I was saving those for later!" said Tess, angrily.
"Too bad, so sad." replied Ansat, licking his fingers.
"Alright, get him!" said Ariel.
They all pounced on Ansat, and put him in a cage.
"Hey, you guys do know that this counts as kidnapping, right?" he said.
"You still committed vandalism!" replied Chase.
"Yeah, but you're stifling my artistic expression, and you're kidnapping me."
Silence.
"YOU'RE STILL STAYING IN HERE FOR AT LEAST A WEEK!" yelled Tess.
And so, every single one of the girls left to go and do their own things, with the exception of Petunia, who stayed behind to watch Ansat.
Ansat stood in his cage, tapping his foot.
Petunia was reading a book.
Ansat got an idea. He jumped into the cage in an attempt to bust it open.
Petunia looked at him in amazement.
"How are you not getting hurt?" she asked.
"Heh, it's all a part of my Extreme Speed Spin." replied Ansat.
"Can you show me?"
"Sure, but you gotta let me out, first."
Petunia unlocked the cage. "Fine, but you're going right back in there when you're done."
Ansat walked out, shoved Petunia inside the cage, and locked it.
"And people say I'm dumb!" he said.
Ansat ran out of the room, grinning.
Ansat whizzed past the other girls, stole some of their snacks, and ran out of the building.
Before he went back to his treehouse, Ansat left a momento in graffiti.
Stupid Friendship Loving Hippies.
Episode 13: The 8 Month "Recovery"[]
Omelet was in a shed, working on a secret project.
Suddenly, Ansat broke in.
"Allright, Scramblebrains, what are you working on this time?" he asked.
Omelet sighed.
"I'm reviving- Wait, why am I telling you this?!"
Ansat kicked Omelet in the back of the head before running off.
Omelet growled.
"That Half Brained Hedgehog! He always ruins my plans! I'm sick of it! I should do something about that troublemaking teenager!" he yelled.
Omelet paused, before having a revelation.
"Troublemaking teenager..."
He pulled out a phone, and called a number.
"Hello, you have a teenager that needs disciplining?" asked the voice on the other end of the phone.
"Yes, I have 2. Their names are..."
The next day, Ansat and Ben were asleep when two guys showed up.
"WAKE UP!" one of them yelled.
Ansat opened his eyes.
"Listen, whatever you think I did, I didn't do it." he said, before going back to sleep.
The two men growled like wild dogs.
Ben woke up.
"OH NO, SECURITY BREACH!" he said.
Ben grabbed his laser pistol, and shot one of the guards out of the treehouse, giving him and Ansat room to escape.
Ansat and Ben were running all throughout Pallet Pass while the guards chased them.
They were nearing a loop.
"Ben, grab my hand!" said Ansat, extending his arm.
Ben tried to grab his arm, but he wasn't looking where he was going and he crashed into a tree.
The two men hogtied Ben while Ansat kept running. By the time he skidded to a stop, Ben was being carried away.
Ben was put in a boat, and sailed to another island.
When they arrived, Ben was put with a group of other teenagers.
Some of these teenagers looked like thugs, while the others looked like normal teenagers.
"So, what are you in for?" asked one of the teenagers.
Ben shrugged. "I don't know."
"I'm here because I smoked a cigarette." said a girl.
"I'm here because I listened to metal music." said a boy.
"I kissed a girl, and I liked it. The taste of her cherry chapstick..." said another girl
"I failed a math test."
"I brought up an issue with my mom's abusive parenting style."
"I sold drugs."
"I skipped school for a month straight."
"I murdered someone."
Ben backed away from the person who said that last sentence. But still, it was baffling. Most of the kids sent here were kids who did things that seemed like an issue only by virtue of the parents not approving.
That's when a group of adults appeared.
"Alright, you maggots are gonna walk all the way up to that mountain." said one of them.
She pointed to a mountain which looked about 100 miles away.
Ben sighed.
"Can I have a phone call, first?"
Meanwhile, Ansat was in his treehouse, trying to think of a plan to break Ben out, when his phone rang.
"Who is this?" he asked.
"This is Ben! Help me, this place is a like a pri-"
The phone was hung up.
"Oh this is just great." said Ansat, sarcastically. "My best friend is on some sort of prison island."
Ansat packed his bags, said goodbye to Aracute, and dashed off.
Ansat dashed all the way to the firehouse, then used some parkour skills to get to the roof. Petunia saw him.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" she asked.
"Ben got kidnapped, yet again, and now I have to save him." replied Ansat.
"Well, do you have to be here?"
"Well, maybe not, but you don't have to tell anyone that I'm here, got it?"
And with that, Ansat jumped off of the roof.
When he landed, he found some people looking for him.
"Hey, you're supposed to be in camp!" one of them said.
Now, the plan was for Ansat to be caught by them, then break Ben out himself, but he decided to mess with them.
Ansat stood still.
"Um, why isn't he moving?" asked one of the men.
"Because I'm right behind you!"
The man looked behind him, only to see another nonmoving Ansat.
"Come on, say something."
"Okay. You better turn around." said a voice from in front of him.
In a matter of minutes, there were about 12 Ansat afterimages surrounding everyone, and one real Ansat sitting in a tree.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk." he said. "For a bunch of grown @$$ men, I thought you would be smarter than this."
"ENOUGH WITH THE ATTITUDE!" yelled a man as he threw at net at Ansat.
Ansat stayed put, and allowed himself to be caught.
An hour later, he was put in Ben's group.
Ben was overjoyed to see his friend.
"Don't worry, little buddy, I'm gonna bust you out." said Ansat.
"Oh no you won't." said the counselors.
Ansat turned to face him.
"Who says I won't?"
"I do, because no teen has ever escaped from here."
And with that, Ansat was slapped across the face.
The group finally got to the mountain, and they were forced to hike.
Once they got up the mountain, one of the counselors pulled out a TV screen, and put on a movie.
The Horrors of Metal Music
Now of course, there is nothing wrong with metal music. I listen to metal music and I don't feel the urge to commit crimes.
Anyways, the video was spewing misinformation, and Ansat was sick of it.
"Sorry, but this is a propaganda, me and Ben are outta here." he said.
He grabbed Ben by the hand and tried to run, but was tackled.
"Alright, mister superspeed, you're not going anywhere!" said one of the counselors.
The next propaganda movie was about how having attitude or self confidence is bad for you.
Ansat couldn't move, as he was tied up.
The counselors were doing all sorts of ineffectual treatment on the kids.
They had the traumatized kids role play the same traumatizing scenarios, they had the rebellious kids yelled at, and for the LGBTQ kids, they just beat them until they almost died.
Then, all the kids had to do hard labor.
Ben complained because there's such a thing as child labor laws, but the counselors just beat him to a pulp.
Afterwards, they all walked back to their original spot, and they went to sleep.
That night, Ansat decided to try and escape with Ben. He woke his friend up, grabbed his hand, and ran off.
"C'mon, buddy, we're up, over, and GONE!" said Ansat.
He ran away, but there were some other kids trying to follow them.
"Take us with you!" one of them said.
Ansat sighed.
"Allright, we'll take all of you, except for the one that committed murder." said Ben.
The kids cheered. They all grabbed hands while Ansat went off running.
The counselors chased after them, but Ansat simply sped up, and they made it back to Prodigia in no time.
Omelet saw all the teenagers and gasped.
"HOW DID YOU ESCAPE?!" he yelled. "I CALLED THEM TO KEEP YOU THERE FOR YEARS!"
"By the power of the status quo." said Ansat. "Now get ready for a butt kicking!"
And with that, Omelet was beaten up by Ansat and Ben, and all was right again.
Episode 14: Community or Chaos?[]
One fine morning, Ansat was feeding his Aracute when he felt a rock hit the back of his head.
"OW! GODDAMN IT!" he yelled.
He looked outside the door of his treehouse to find the Friendship Squad.
"Whoops, I didn't mean to throw it into the door!" said Petunia.
"Oh, don't apologize." said Tess. "He deserved that."
"What do you hippies want?" said Ansat.
Ariel, the leader of the group, pulled out a poster.
Richeland.
The happiest most fun place on Prodigia.
Now, lemme explain.
Richeland is owned by this lady named Julia Riche. Julia is one of those rich snobby stereotypical businesswoman who only care about getting rich.
Now, of course, not all businesspeople are like that, but this is the example I'm using for this chapter.
Back to the story...
Ansat was confused.
"Why should I care about this?" he asked.
"It's because they're tearing down the arts museum!" yelled Ramona.
"Again, why should I care about this?"
"Because you still escaped, and you need to pay your dues to us!" yelled Ariel.
"YOU KIDNAPPED ME!"
"Ansat, Omelet is also working on this project. He's planning to build a casino and scam innocent people out of their money." said Petunia.
"Of course Omelet is working on this. He's the root of literally almost every problem here."
"So you'll help us?"
"Maybe."
That's when Ben woke up, and peered out the window.
"Oh, is this the group of stupid self righteous friendship obsessed hippies you were telling me about?" he asked.
Ansat nodded.
Ben perked up. "Hi, I'm Ben, Ansat's best friend!" he said.
Everyone but Ansat fell over at Ben's comment.
So everyone set off to Lamplight Town, near the arts museum where there were some unmanned construction vehicles.
As soon as they arrived, the Friendship Squad took out some signs.
Richeland must go
Down with Julia
Casi-NO
The Friendship Squad started protesting, and raising their signs, and getting people to sign petitions.
Ansat and Ben were quickly getting bored of this.
For one, they considered this a major hippie move.
Secondly, the petition was getting signed at a snail's pace. Only a few people actually showed interest in saving the arts museum.
So Ansat and Ben did the only reasonable thing here.
They got some spray cans and a banner, and sprayed paint on the site.
They then climbed up on top of the crane and unfurled a custom made banner denouncing Richeland.
When they were inside of the crane, they got locked inside.
Worse, some people were coming up the ladder.
Luckily, it was Ramona and her mother, who was a cop.
Unfortunately, seeing as how our two protagonists committed a crime, they sure as hell weren't about to be let off with a warning.
"Ansat Lightningheart, Benjamin Firestorm, you two are under arrest for vandalism." she said.
Ansat and Ben simply started laughing.
"What's so funny?" asked Ramona's mom.
"You- you're gonna arrest us?" asked Ansat, laughing.
"Uhm, yes, you committed a crime!"
"Hahaha! What's next, pigs start flying?"
Ramona and her mom were not amused.
The cop was about to slap some handcuffs on Ansat when Petunia climbed up and interrupted.
"Please don't arrest them, they were only trying to help us." she said.
"Nonsense, he still committed a crime! Arrest him and throw him in jail for life!" said Ramona.
"Actually, you can't throw us in jail for life." said Ben. "Criminals who commit vandalism can only be put in jail for up to a year."
"Shut up, smart@$$."
"Smart@$$?! I'm just giving information!"
"Shut up, nerd!"
"Now Ramona, that wasn't very nice. It's also kind of hypocritical since you've got a working drone that you built by yourself." said Ramona's mother.
"MOM!"
Ansat took advantage of the argument to grab Ben's hand and hightail it out of there.
The next day, the duo were chilling in the treehouse when another rock was thrown at Ansat's head.
"F*cking piece of-"
Ansat looked out the window yet again to see the Friendship Squad.
"Hey, so Ramona's mom decided to drop the charges for vandalism, but she says that next time you're getting arrested." said Petunia.
Ben sighed.
"Don't worry, we're not doing that again." he said.
"Good." replied Petunia.
"So, you girls wanna come inside? We're gonna see what we can make out of some nuts, bottled water, and a dead squirrel."
"Uhm, sure..."
And so, the Friendship Squad went inside the treehouse to witness Ansat and Ben's haphazard and dangerous attempts at cooking.
Episode 15: The Return of Sasha to the Third Power[]
Omelet was watching something develop in his rebuilt tower. It was the body of a teenager, around the age of 17. The body was developing at a marvelous rate. When the body was finished, Omelet dressed it up in battle armor, and sat the body down in a machine. Omelet typed some words on the keypad.
Sasha Diamondsnow
Suddenly, the body glowed a bright blue, before the body opened its eyes.
Sasha was back.
Meanwhile, Ansat and Ben were sitting in class, incredibly bored. The teacher was droning on about something about how metal music will be the end of all life, when a bell went off.
"Attention students, this is not a drill. There is a lady in the Academy with a bunch of technology with the intent to kill." said a voice on the intercom.
All the students hid under their desks.
"Ansat, I'm scared." said Ben.
"Don't be. I'm sure Gale will take care of this." replied Ansat.
"But Gale came down with Bad Charactosis a few months ago."
Ansat gulped.
Suddenly, the door went flying, hitting the back wall. The shadow of a lady in their late teens walked through the doorway.
It was Sasha.
"Sasha?" said Ansat. "I thought she got self destructed months ago!"
"I bet Omelet revived her." replied Ben.
Sasha smirked.
She fired a spell at the desks Ansat and Ben were hiding under, and the whole class went berserk.
All the kids started freaking out, with the exception of Ansat and Ben. They high fived before charging at Sasha.
Ansat attempted to run around Sasha to make her dizzy, but to no avail.
Ben grabbed Sasha by the arm and attempted to slam her into the ground, but it was Ben that got slammed instead.
"Hmm. She seems more competent than usual." said Ben.
"Huh. Plan B!" replied Ansat.
"What Plan B? We never had a Plan B!"
"You wanna know what the Plan B is?"
Ansat charged forwards, screaming "Speed power!"
He went Extreme Speed, and shoulder bashed Sasha. However, the attack did minimal damage.
Sasha pulled out a small tube thing that could fit into her palm. She clicked a button, and the tube thing turned into a laser blade thing. She shoved the blade into Ansat's leg, zapping him. His cries of pain were horrifying.
Ben immediately flew at Sasha, Big Hex Conductor in hand. He swung the rod at Sasha's head, but he was zapped before the attack connected. The girl grabbed the two boys, and carried them over her shoulder. She walked out, leaving the other students in shock.
An unspecified amount of time later, Ansat and Ben woke up in a glass cage.
From behind the cage, the balding scientist was mocking them.
"What's wrong, wimps? Still butthurt over being beaten?" he said, mockingly.
Ben snarled. "What do you want with us?!" he said.
"Oh nothing much. I'm just going to drain you both of your energy, which will be transferred to Sasha. Seeing as how you'll have no more energy left, you can't possibly stop us. Since you can't stop us, we can finally take over the island for good!"
Omelet started laughing, and it pissed Ansat off.
"Well, bub, you're history!" said Ansat. He smashed into the glass, shattering the cage.
Omelet started laughing even harder.
"What's so funny, you mustached misfit?!" said Ben.
"Well, Benjamin," said Omelet. "You haven't seen the best of my abilities!"
Omelet threw off his cape, and got out a laser blade, this time appearing more like a lightsaber. Omelet charged at Ben, and swiped at his head. Ben ducked just in time, and countered with an uppercut.
Ansat jumped over him, and kicked Omelet in the face.
Omelet fell backwards, but got back up with an escape roll. The scientist swung his laser sword at Ansat, who dodged with a back hand spring. Ansat countered with a sweep kick, but Omelet jumped out of the way. Ben fired at Omelet with a laser gun, but Omelet dodged.
"Man, are we ever gonna beat this creep?" wondered Ansat.
"You'll never win! In 5 minutes, I'm gonna open a rift to another dimension, and ally with their denizens!" replied Omelet.
"Oh no!" said Ben, "We have to do something!"
Just then, Sasha appeared.
"Aha, we're gonna mop the floor with you stupid speedsters!" she said.
Suddenly, Ben flew upstairs, and Omelet was chasing after him.
It was Ansat vs Sasha.
Ansat started the fight with a Quadruple Spin, nailing Sasha in the shin.
This time, Sasha showed some pain.
Sasha nailed him with an axe kick, so Ansat countered with a body shot.
The two fighters kept taking hit after hit, each hit being more devastating than the last. They were both bloody and bruised. Eventually, Ansat hit Sasha in the chin with a backflip kick, sending blood trickling onto her throat. A pair of daggers were sent flying from her belt.
Ansat grabbed the daggers, and ran upstairs.
Meanwhile, Ben was flying up the tower, with Omelet chasing after him. Ben had to dodge all sorts of death traps, such as bottomless pits, and buzz saws. Eventually, Ben got to the top of the tower, and looked at a monitor screen.
Trans Dimensional Merge beginning in 15 seconds.
Ben was panicked. He was trying to figure out Omelet's complex dimensional technology, when he got an idea.
He punched through the keyboard, and pulled out a couple of wires. Ben cut the wires, and the monitor had a different message.
Trans Dimensional Merge ended. Link to "ROTW" universe severed.
Ansat made it up to the top, and high fived Ben.
"Nice job, dude!" said Ansat.
"Well, you did well, too." replied Ben.
And with that, they exited out of the window.
But unfortunately for them, Omelet and Sasha were back, for real this time.
Episode 16: Return of the Cult[]
Whatever did happen to Emma after she led that cult?
Well, unfortunately, everyone forgot that she was literally making people cut themselves so that she could drink their blood.
Emma used this grasp of the Idiot Ball to her advantage, as she became a functioning member of society. She became a streamer, and she had around 50,000 subscribers on ProTube. Eventually, she decided that she wanted a legion of fans to take her side whenever she wanted. So she posted a video.
”Hey guys, I’m officially quitting. It’s been fun, but I’ve decided that I’m going to work on myself now. I’ll upload my last video tomorrow, don’t miss it!”
Around a few days later, Ansat and Ben were walking around town when they saw Emma, followed by a few people.
”Hey, isn’t she that washout ProTuber?” Asked Ben.
Ansat nodded. “I don’t get the big deal about her. She plays a few games and yet everyone and their mom is giving her money.”
”Maybe it’s because people think she’s attractive?”
”Dude, she’s my age.”
”People your age watch her.”
”But what about all the middle age guys who’re on ProTube?”
”Fair point.”
Just then, it hit them.
”Hey, isn’t that the chick who started a cult?” Asked Ansat.
”Hey, it is!” Replied Ben.
Of course, they couldn’t attack right this moment, so they had to trail her.
They followed Emma and her followers to Shipwreck Shore. The girl and the other teenagers went inside of an empty pirate ship. Ben decided to sneak inside, while Ansat lounged in a beach chair. Ben snuck inside the empty hull of a ship, only to find a complete horror show.
There were people cutting themselves with knives and bleeding into cups, people getting thrown into cages, and Emma sitting on a throne.
”Peasants, come here!” She said.
All of her little minions lined up in rows, on their knees.
Emma chuckled.
“We set sail today! We will sail to Harmony Island, and threaten the Ancient into giving me her powers!”
Ben, who was waiting by the doorway, yelped. Everyone pointed their wands at him, so he flew away.
At some point, they shot him in the foot, and he started to crash.
Ansat, who was still lying there, noticed Ben.
”Watch out, you’re gonna crash!”
Ben crashed into the sand. Ansat immediately ran over to him.
”Buddy, are you okay?” Asked Ansat.
Ben nodded, a little dazed. After Ansat helped him up, Ben spilled the beans about the entire operation.
”They’re doing what?!” Yelled Ansat.
”They’re probably going to overwhelm her with the power of numbers!” Replied Ben.
”We’ve got to do something!”
“But what?”
Meanwhile, on the ship, Emma set sail for Harmony Island, and all of her cronies were helping with stuff. Suddenly, Ansat and Ben burst out of the cablin, yelling, “Speedy power!”
Ben leapt up to the Crow’s Nest, and pulled out his laser gun. While Ben was firing lasers at the cultists, Ansat was taking down foes with some Martial Arts action.
As soon as all the minions are defeated, the two cornered Emma.
”It’s over, Emma. You’ve got no one left to rely on.” Said Ansat.
”Prepare to meet up with Liam in Hell!” Said Ben, threateningly.
Emma looked shocked, before taking out a device.
”IF I’M GOING DOWN, AT LEAST WE’LL MEET IN THE AFTERLIFE!” She yelled.
She pressed the button, and the entire ship blew up.
Ansat, Ben, and Emma were left floating in the water.
Well, Ansat and Ben at least, Emma was flailing around.
”HELP, I CAN’T SWIM!!!” She screamed.
”Sorry, but I guess you’ll be going to the afterlife by yourself.” Said Ansat.
”Say hi to your ProTube subscribers in hell!” Said Ben.
And so, the two swam back to shore, where they were treated by a girl in a yellow t-shirt and black jeans, who was holding a video camera.
”Hello there, Ansat, Ashley Blizzardhand, I sit behind you in math class. How do you feel about having defeated Emma Thunderbolt and her cult of evil terrorists?” Asked the girl.
”No comment.” Replied Ansat.
”But Ansat-“
”No. Comment.”
Ansat and Ben walked away, leaving Ashley annoyed.
”Ugh, well that was an anticlimactic ending to an utterly idealess chapter. I didn’t even get my damn story.” She said.
Oh well, maybe next chapter will be better.
Episode 17: Rise to Ashes[]
Ashley was walking down the road, trying to get somewhere. She was recording herself.
”Ashley Blizzardhand here with your weekly ‘Irrelevant News’. I’m currently walking home to Jenna’s apartment, with no sign of any happenings.”
Suddenly, a bunch of goons came out of nowhere.
”Give us your money!” Yelled a brown haired goon.
”Uhm, not now. Maybe later.” Replied Ashley.
”There is no later! Only now!”
The goon pulled out his wand, only to get his face frozen by Ashley. She ran away, while the rest of the goons followed her. She ended up in Pallet Pass, where she found herself at a dead end, as there was a dense cluster of trees. A bunch of goons surrounded her.
”What do you think we should do with her?” Asked one goon.
”Rough her up?” Asked another.
”No, no. Far worse…”
Ashley tried to blast some of the goons with some ice, but was quickly overwhelmed, and held down.
The goons started chuckling, planning on doing whatever, when one of them was blasted in the butt.
”Ow! That felt like a laser!” He said.
Another one was kicked in the face.
”Yowch! That felt like it was going 50 miles per hour!” She said.
One by one, the thugs kept disappearing, until the initial 3 were left.
“Hey, where’d our buddies go?” Asked the brown haired one.
”I dunno.” Said the blond one. “I’m getting scared to be honest.”
”As you should be!” Said the voice of a teenager.
And then, Ansat and Ben appeared from the shadows.
Ben whacked a thug with his Big Hex Conductor, cracking his skull.
Ansat whizzed around a thug, before striking him while he was dizzy.
The brown haired thug was the one being cornered, now.
Ansat and Ben ran at him, before curling up into balls, and striking him in the gut.
He coughed up blood before collapsing. That just left Ashley, who was lying on the ground, shocked.
”Yeesh, isn’t she the girl that sits behind me in math class?” Asked Ansat.
”She also runs that ProTube channel. Irrelevant News.” Said Ben.
Ashley didn’t respond, as she was too shocked to move.
”Damn, I think she might’ve stopped working from sheer shock, she ain’t moving.”
”Ya think?”
A 2 hours later, Ashley awoke in a treehouse. There were 2 sleeping bags, a CRT TV, a game console (which the boys were using at the moment), a PC, an Aracute sitting on a pillow, and a few windows.
”Hey, where am I? What did you do to me?!” She said.
Ansat looked over her, but he got socked in the jaw.
”YOW! You punch real hard!” He said, rubbing the left side of his face.
”I think I know what happened now! You sent those goons over. I know about your ego, so you must have hired those guys to try and beat me up, and then you would try and play the hero, just to get me to praise you!” She yelled.
”Nice theory. Just one problem.”
”What?”
”I haven’t shown an ego problem since Episode 7.”
”Oh.”
Ashley sat up. She looked at her bag, and clutched it.
”I hope you two haven’t stolen anything from here!” She said.
”Why do you ask? Is it because we live out of a treehouse?” Asked Ben.
”No, but… Hey, what does this have to do with anything?”
”Ah, it’s just filler. The author is pretty lazy.” Said Ansat.
”Hmm. Anyways, I’ll be leaving now.”
Ashley hopped out of the treehouse, and landed on the ground. She walked through the now empty streets of Lamplight to an apartment building. She took the elevator to the penthouse, and was greeted by a blonde girl. This must be Jenna, who was mentioned earlier.
”OMG! Where have you been? You’ve been gone for quite a while.” She said.
”How long?” Asked Ashley.
”2 hours.”
Ashley gasped.
”Holy-“
Suddenly, a red haired 22 year old woman came out of her bedroom.
”Oh, there you are.” She said. “I was about to call the cops, where were you?”
”Sorry, Aunt Melanie.” Said Ashley. “I just got jumped on the way home.”
Melanie gasped.
To describe what happened next would take up too much time. Onwards to the next week,
Weeks later, Ashley kept getting jumped by the same goons. It was honestly perplexing. Ansat and Ben even set their clock to it.
One day, Ashley was walking home, baseball bat in hand, when she got caught in a net. This was new. Then, the thugs grabbed the net, and dragged her to Omelet’s tower.
Omelet was working out in his basement gym. He actually looks less fat. The net was dropped off in front of him, while he was doing some sit ups.
”Have you idiots finally gotten the goddamn girl?” He asked.
The brown haired thug nodded. “Now, do you mind telling us the plan again? We forgot.”
Omelet growled.
”You idiots. This is such a cliche, but whatever.” He said. “The plan is to lure Ansat and Ben over here, then kick their butts. I don’t even know why I had to describe this, this is even simpler than that stupid hole plan I came up with in the 2nd episode.”
Omelet walked all the way upstairs, holding the net, and started up a broadcast.
Meanwhile, Ansat and Ben were playing “Mega Fighter 2: Ultra Tournament Edition”, when their game was interrupted.
”Hey, this better be good, mama’s boy. I was just about to beat Ben.” Said Ansat.
”Well, scatterbrain, I have your friend, Ashley in this net.” Said Omelet, all smug.
”Oh god, we’re late by 2 minutes!” Said Ben.
”No wonder your ugly mug kidnapped her.”
“OOH, YOU LITTLE- Ahem. So, you have 2 hours to get her or I’m gonna give her to Sasha.”
”You wouldn’t.”
”I would.”
Ansat got up, turned off the TV, and leaped out of the treehouse, with Ben following close behind. They ran across the entire island, and made it to Omelet’s tower.
Omelet watched them through a camera. “That’s right, you little sh*ts. Come to me. Soon, I’ll get you both!” He said.
Ashley started squirming. “Can I use the bathroom?” She asked.
Omelet sighed.
”Sasha, cut her loose.” He said.
Sasha sliced her open with Omelet’s laser blade.
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be watching TV.” She said.
”No, Sasha, I need you to defeat those wizards!” Replied Omelet.
”Sorry, but I’ve been training all day, I need a break.”
While Omelet and Sasha were arguing, Ashley walked out of the room, recording with her camera.
”This is Ashley Blizzardhand of Irrelevant News. I’m live inside of Omelet’s tower, where I’m being held captive. Well, not really, I tricked them into letting me escape, but I’m still stuck when Omelet and his crony stop arguing.” She said.
“CRONY?!?!” Yelled Sasha, from another room.
Sasha flew at Ashley, making her drop her camera. Sasha started pulling Ashley’s hair, and Ashley started trying to punch her in the stomach. They were having a full on cat fight.
That’s when the door was kicked down by Ansat. The door flew and hit Sasha, knocking her off of Ashley.
While Ansat charged at Sasha to attack her, Ben landed next to Ashley to comfort her.
”Hey, are you okay?” He asked.
Ashley nodded, but she looked kind of sad.
”I feel like such a burden. I’ve been kidnapped 5 times this week.” She said.
”Well, you don’t have to feel bad about it. Not everyone is as cool as Ansat and I.” Replied Ben.
Ashley sighed.
”I just wish there was some way for me to repay you guys for all the times you’ve saved me.”
”Oh, you don’t have to do anything.”
Meanwhile, Ansat was chasing Sasha up the tower, and into the TV room. There was a bucket of popcorn on a movie chair. Ansat grabbed it, and threw it into her face.
”AUGH! HOT BUTTER!” She screamed.
”Yep, nothing beats cartoon antics and stupidity.” Said Ansat, smirking. He ran downstairs.
”C’mon, Ben, Ash. We’re blowing this popsicle stand.” He said as he walked out of the doorway. The two followed.
They walked to Jenna’s apartment, and rode the escalator to the penthouse.
”Welp, Mel, we got your niece again. Maybe try not to lose her this time.” Said Ben.
”Oh, thank you, you guys are heroes.” Said Melanie.
Ansat and Ben left, and Ashley sighed.
The next day, Ashley walked over to the duo’s tree house, holding a box of pizza-dogs.
”Hey, do you smell that?” Asked Ben.
As soon as Ashley entered the door, she was greeted by the two.
”So, I just remembered that I never thanked you guys for saving me all those times, so this is how I’m repaying you.” She said.
”Aw man, this is sweet!” Said Ansat. “You can come of anytime!”
”Man, thanks! Wanna play some video games with us? We just bought a 3rd controller!” Said Ben.
”Hmm, okay!”
And so, Ashley sat down with her new friends, to eat pizza-dogs and play video games.
A happy ending to some degree!
Episode 18 and a Third: The Start of the Hidden Treasure Part 1[]
It was the beginning of summer, and Ariel, Petunia, Tess, and Ramona were chilling at their clubhouse one night. Chase had left due to having to move to a new island.
Tess was busy working out on a treadmill, Petunia was painting a beautiful picture of an Embershed, Ariel was watching TV, and Ramona was working on an invention in their garage that they had for some reason.
Did I mention that their clubhouse was kind of big?
Anyays, the girls were doing things, when the power went out. The girls were perplexed, and went down to the garage.
“Ramona, did you blow a fuse again?” Asked Ariel.
”Well, I don’t think so. I was just working on my latest invention.” She replied.
”This isn’t like that time you made a moving practice dummy for me that went rogue and went to that weird tower, is it?” Asked Tess.
”No, it’s a vehicle.”
”Like what?” Asked Petunia.
”It’s some sort of modified submarine, but can go on land, like a carriage. I call it, a van, the Master Life Van.”
”That name makes no sense.” Said Ariel.
”Whatever.”
Meanwhile, at Omelet’s tower, the mad scientist was sitting in his garage, having blown a massive fuse working on his new invention.
”Damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMN!” He shouted. “I can’t build anything now!”
Sasha came downstairs in her pajamas.
”Christ, Omelet, you woke me up with your temper tantrum.” She said.
”Sorry, but all my inventions have been failing.”
”Why don’t you try hiring another scientist? Didn’t you tell me about this one chick you teamed up with for that amusement park scheme?”
Omelet perked up. It was almost as if there was a lightbulb above his head.
Actually, there was one over his head. Once it went away, Omelet got his phone out, and called someone.
”Julia? I need you, pronto.”
Back at the clubhouse, the Friendship Squad decided to go take the van out for a drive. The van in question had 3 seats in the front, and 2 seats against each two walls in the back of the van, with an exit door in the very back. In the dashboard was the usual dashboard stuff, but there was still a sonar, since it was still a submarine. There was a bunch of navigation tools, and some rescue gear that firemen use, all that stuff.
They soon found out that the entirety of Lamplight Town was facing a blackout.
”Damn, this sucks.” Said Ariel.
”We should probably just go home.” Said Petunia. “The electricity might just return tomorrow.”
”Well, yeah, but-“
They noticed a weird building. Well, the building in and of itself wasn’t weird but the thing on top of it was. There were some random tools falling off of the roof. there was also the faintest whiff of spray paint.
They piled out of the van, and scaled the tall building until they got to the roof.
When they got there, there was nothing, except for a strange device, and a graffiti mural on the entrance to the stairwell that was opposite to the entrance that the girls came out from.
They walked around the rooftop cautiously, approaching the device, when suddenly, two figures leapt out from the shadows, one of them holding a flashlight, the other a laser gun.
It was Ansat and Ben.
”What are you two doing here?” Asked Ramona, holding her wrench as if it was a weapon.
”Chill out, dude, we’re not doing anything illegal.” Said Ansat. He looked back at the graffiti he did. “Mostly not doing anything illegal.”
”We were watching TV when the power went out. We then decided to go into town to go out for Pizza-Dogs, and then we realized that all the power was out.” Said Ben.
”So then Ben decided to make some sort of electricity thing. He was almost done until you came around.”
“Well, what are you waiting for? Fire it up!” Said Petunia.
Ben grabbed a wire. “Ansat, if you would please do the honors?”
”Why gladly, bro.” Ansat shot some electricity at the wire from his fingertips.
The cone shaped machine started glowing with electricity, before releasing it into the sky. Lamplight Town regained electricity… for all of 2 seconds.
”Gee, how useful.” Snarked Ariel.
”That’ll never work.” Said Ramona. She took a closer look at the device. “That’s just a traffic cone with hoof prints!”
”You try inventing stuff while living in a treehouse.” Said Ben.
And so, everybody left.
Meanwhile, Omelet was waiting in his control room, when someone walked into the room. She had blonde hair, red lipstick, and a white lab coat. She was accompanied by two thugs, one fat and one thin.
”Hello, Omelet.” She said.
Omelet smirked. “Why, hello, Ms. Julia Riche.” He said. He noticed her and the thugs holding bags. “I assume you are staying here for a while?”
”We’ve been thinking of moving in. Archana is just so boring.”
”We got to come along since we took down two of her scientific rivals.” Said the fat one.
”And who are you two fellows?” Asked Omelet.
”I’m Hammer Jacobs.” Said the fat one.
”I’m Spike Logan.” Said the thin one.
”Ah, I have a hench woman around your ages, gentlemen.” Said Omelet. “Sasha, get down here!”
Sasha walked down the stairs.
”This is Sasha Diamondsnow. She wasn’t here the last time Ms. Riche visited because she was knocked into a vat of acid, and later exploded after I built her into a robot by some delinquent.” Said Omelet.
”What’s up, losers?” She asked.
As Sasha, Hammer, and Spike were getting acquainted, Omelet was talking to Julia.
”Now, come down into the garage, let’s discuss my new plan to take over Lamplight.” Said Omelet, who was on the verge of breaking out into an evil laugh.
Episode 18 and Two Thirds: The Start of the Hidden Treasure Part 2[]
The day after the blackout, everything had gone back to normal. Well, mostly back to normal. The Friendship Squad were walking home, when they noticed a lot of lasers coming from another tall building. They once again ran up the building, only to find Ansat and Ben fighting a bunch of wizard looking robots, dressed in dark green ninja gear. They had laser guns, and Ansat and Ben were dodging laser fire.
”Gee, these guys shoot a lot better than those robots from Space Wars!” Said Ben.
“You guys again?” Asked Ariel. She leapt into the fray, and took out one of the robots by bashing a random rock against its head. That gave the girls an opening to attack. They took down all of the robots, as Ben examined the logo seen on the shirt of these guys.
”An egg… What could this mean?” He asked.
”Take a wild guess.” Snarked Ansat.
”Well, I guess we’re going to investigate Omelet. Only problem is, we don’t go there as often as you guys do, so we need the way.” Said Ariel.
”She’s right.” Said Ansat.
”They’ve earned it.” Said Ben.
”So? Spill!” Said Tess, who was getting a little angry.
”You bet.” Said Ansat. “Right after lunch!”
And so, the two boys leapt off of the building, landing on the ground with little to no harm. They then walked away from the building.
”What the hell are they doing?!” Asked Tess.
”Damn it, let’s go after them!” Said Ramona.
Ansat and Ben made their way to a fast food restaurant, and ran inside.
”Score!” Said Ben. “No line!”
They walked to the order counter.
“We’ll take 4 large boxes of pizza-dogs, with pepperoni, Parmesan, tomatoes, and extra chili.” Said Ansat, as he folded his arms on top of the counter.
”Uhh, sure.” Said the cashier. “I guess that’ll be 50 gold.”
After paying, Ansat carried the pizza-dogs as he and Ben left the place, where the Friendship Squad were waiting.
”Oh, hey dudes.” Said Ben. “Want a pizza-“
”No, you were supposed to tell us about Omelet!” Said Ramona. “Instead, you left for lunch!”
”Calm down.”
”No, this could be an urgent matter!”
”Typically speaking, people don’t use ‘Omelet’ and ‘urgent matter’ in the same sentence.” Snarked Ansat.
”Listen, can you please just show us the way?” Asked Ariel.
”Sure.” Said Ben. “Follow us.”
And so, Ramona started up the Master Life Van after Ansat and Ben as they were about to run to Omelet’s tower.
At said tower, Omelet was busy plotting, when Julia walked over to him with a map in hand.
”Omelet, I found a nice plan to help you continue construction on the-“
”No spoilers.” Interrupted Omelet.
“Well, I was doing some research, and I found a legend that leads to a treasure. If we get the treasure, we could get all the money we need to fund our project!” Said Julia.
”Excellent research, Julia. Now we just need to-“
An alarm on his console went off.
”Half-Brain Hedgehog and sidekick approximately 50 miles away.” Said a voice from the console.
”You use customary?” Asked Julia, disgusted.
”You don’t?” Asked Omelet. “Anyways, get the Eggbots, Sasha, Hammer, and Spike!”
”They’re 50 miles away, how is that alarming?”
”You’d be surprised.”
50 miles away, Ansat and Ben were leading the Friendship Squad to Omelet’s tower. They were almost out of Lamplight Town, when a large number of those green clad ninja dudes appeared, along with Sasha, Hammer, and Spike.
”Whoa, who are those freaks?” Asked Tess.
“I recognize Sasha, but who are those other two?” Asked Ansat.
”Some thugs from some island called Archana.” Said Sasha.
“I’ve always wanted to vacation there.” Said Ariel.
”You’ll be taking a long vacation soon, in hell!” Yelled Hammer.
Everyone stared at him.
”Boo!” Yelled Ansat.
”F*ck off!” Yelled Sasha, as she, the thugs, and the Eggbots ran at the group.
Now, you might think that everything turns out fine in the end, but for all of the fourth wall breaking antics that the characters display, they can’t predict the plot. Couple that with the fact that there were around 30-40 Eggbots, plus the henchdudes, against 6 teenagers, and you have a recipe for 4 uneasy girls.
”Uhm, so how do you guys normally handle these types of situations?” Asked Ariel.
Ansat and Ben looked at each other, before Ben got his laser gun, and Ansat raised his fists in a fighting stance, as they both smiled.
”SNEAKER POWER!” They yelled, as they ran forwards.
The Friendship Squad stared at each other as they piled out of the van.
”I guess we should follow their lead. I mean, they have done this for longer.” Said Ariel.
And so, they charged in after them.
Tess was the first to land an attack, kicking right through the torso of a robot, before it promptly exploded.
“Hey, that robot seemed a little familiar.” She said.
Ben was dodging laser fire, when he flew forwards, got out his Big Hex conductor, and smacked Spike in the head with it, knocking him over.
”Home run!” Said Ben.
”More like a bunt.” Snarked Ariel.
Ramona grabbed her wrench, and chose to sneak up on the robots and disable them from behind. She noticed something very familiar about the coding.
Hammer was blasting at Petunia.
”I’m gonna kill you, you little beotch!” He yelled. Now, Petunia didn’t know how to fight. Ariel is decent in basic combat, Tess is athletic and specializes in a bunch of sports, and Ramona can simply invent weapons, but Petunia’s pretty much to softest of the Friendship Squad. However, she was still sort of deadly. she spotted a nearby paint can, grabbed it, and threw it at Hammer, covering him in paint and burning his eyes.
”AIEEE!” He screamed. He then walked into Eggbot laser fire, and fell over.
Tess was squaring off against Sasha, when Ansat leapt over her as if he was playing leap frog, ducked, and rolled into Sasha’s midsection, knocking her backwards. Before she hit the ground, Ansat leapt onto her stomach, and rode her like a surfboard.
”Cowabunga!” He said.
”I’d say that’s not even physically possible,” Said Ramona. “But I have no clue what counts as logic in this show anymore.”
Back at the tower, Omelet was pissed.
”Damn it, if they get through all the enemies, they could uncover-“
He had a thought. He grabbed his microphone, and yelled into it.
”Sasha, fall back, and leave the goods!” He said.
Sasha, who was busy beating up both Ariel and Tess with his cybernetic abilities, received the message, and gave a signal to fall back. She dropped a piece of paper as she, the thugs, and he Eggbots ran back to the tower.
Ansat ran after them, but was blasted backwards by a shockwave, that blasted everyone back to where they started.
“Ugh, this sucks @$$.” Groaned Ansat.
”Well, at least we have this piece of paper.” Said Petunia.
They all read the piece of paper.
Step 1: Rob bank it said.
”That’s it?” Asked Ramona.
”This sucks.” Said Ben. “There’s, like, a gazillion banks.”
And so, everyone left while Omelet and Julia were formulating their next course of action.
Chapter 18: The Start of the Hidden Treasure Part 3[]
The next day, the Friendship Squad were busy scouting out all the banks in the area. They had passed by bank after bank, to no avail. They spent their entire day doing this, until it got dark.
”Can we just accept defeat and move on?” Asked Petunia. “My stepmom’s gonna kill me if I miss curfew again.”
”We have to keep looking. We don’t know what the fat guy’s plan is, and so we need to stop him in case it’s something bad.” Said Ariel.
”Besides,” said Ramona, who was driving the van. “Even if you do get grounded, I can always clone you.”
”But then what would my clone do when I am there?”
“Wait, guys, check out that bank!” Said Tess.
She pointed to a bank, titled the ‘Founder’s Bank’, which had the bank door wide open.
”Hey, it’s the bank built by the founders of Lamplight!” Said Petunia.
”But why would they go into there?” Asked Ramona.
They decided to think about it once they got inside. The bank was dark and mostly empty. At least, it was until around 10 people spotted them, and marched on over.
”Intruders?” Asked Hammer.
”You know what we do with intruders, don’t you boys?” Asked Sasha.
”Yep!” Said Spike, as he grabbed a knife.
”Uh, Ramona? You don’t happen to have any lasers on you, do ya?” Asked Tess.
Hammer was about to bash a wooden stick over Tess’s head, but was blocked by a metal conductor.
”Chill out, Homeboy!” Said a voice.
Spike held his knife out, only to be disarmed by another knife.
”Watch it, pal!” Said another.
”Whoever you are, you’re dead!” Yelled Hammer, as he grabbed the conductor. Unfortunately for him, the conductor lifted upwards, flinging his fat @$$ into a safe.
Suddenly, things started happening. Spike had his eyes covered as he was pulled into the darkness. 5 seconds later, dark two figures approached the rest of the thugs, one of them powering up a laser gun, the other shaking a spray can. A thug was blinded by said spray can, another was shot by the laser gun. One by one, the thugs went down, leaving only Sasha.
”Damn.” She said, as she carried Hammer and Spike up on her shoulders, and ran away.
Suddenly, the figures stepped into an overhanging light. Who else would it be but Ansat and Ben?
”How’s it hanging?” Asked Ben.
Ramona slapped him.
”Were you following us?” She asked, angrily.
”Cool off, nerdzilla. We saw that the door was open, so we waltzed on in.” Said Ansat. “Kind of like how you did?”
”…oh.”
“So, what do we do now?” Asked Tess.
”Look for stuff? They had to rob this particular bank for a reason.” Said Ben.
And so, they spent a few minutes combing every inch of the bank. They found nothing.
”Damn, no clues.” Said Petunia.
”Yeah. All I found was this stupid locket with a picture of some old lady.” Said Ansat.
”Stupid locket?” Asked Ariel. She snatched the locket from Ansat, and looked at the picture.
”That’s not a random old lady,” she said. “That’s Missy Lightstorm, one of the founders of Lamplight Town, you idiot! Did you ever pay attention in history class?”
Ansat shrugged. “History class sucks.”
Everyone facepalmed.
”Hey, look! A key next to where the locket was!” Said Ben. He took the locket from Ariel, and opened it. Inside was a folded down piece of paper. Ben took it out, and unfolded it. It was a note.
I love the art museum, don’t you? It said.
“That’s it? They robbed a bank for a plug for the art museum?” Asked Ben.
”It has to be more than that.” Said Ramona.
“We can look tomorrow, I’m screwed if I don’t get home immediately.” Said Petunia. And so, she ran out of the bank as soon as she ended that sentence.
”I guess I better get home, too. Staying in a bank that’s supposed to be closed isn’t a good look.” Said Ariel.
And so, everyone left. At Omelet’s tower, Julia was pretty upset.
”You weren’t supposed to drop the locket!” Said Julia. “I understand Hammer and Spike doing this, but you, Sasha?!”
”Well I wouldn’t have dropped it if your thugs were competent.” Retorted Sasha.
“Well maybe if you actually tried to fight those hooligans, they wouldn’t have gotten beaten up! You have cybernetic enhancements, for f*ck’s sake!”
Suddenly, Omelet walked upstairs to the control room.
”No need to worry. You guys could always check out the art museum. I heard that the founders loved that place!” He said. “In fact, you can go there right now, as punishment for failing that easy @$$ bank job.”
Sasha groaned. “Do we have to?”
”Yes, or I’m taking your phone.”
Sasha groaned, and led Hammer and Spike downstairs to where all the laser weapons are.
”Now that there’s gone, let me show you what I have so far.” Said the inventor.
”Have you lost weight?” Asked Julia.
”Yes, now come along.”
Omelet brought Julia to the garage via his elevator, and showed her what was under the tarp.
”Perfect…” said Julia.
Chapter 19: The Factions Team Up[]
The next day, the Friendship Squad were thinking of a plan of action. Ansat was with them, while Ben was working on something in the garage.
”Okay, so the plan is to go to the arts museum, and see what’s up.” Said Ariel.
”You know, you could’ve explained that before the whole 24 minute slog of an offscreen speech.” Snarked Ansat.
”Well at least we think of plans.” Said Tess.
”And yet we get the job done more frequently. I wonder how that works.”
Suddenly, Ben, came from the garage. “I’m done!” He said.
Everyone went down to the garage. There was a bicycle, but with a lawnmower engine attached, and a weird screen.
”I made two things.” Said Ben. “I took the first one back home, it’s a surprise. But this one’s called the ‘Weapon Bike’.”
”Weapon Bike?” Asked Ramona.
”Yep. I added a lawnmower engine to make it go fast without pedaling, cup holders, a place to hold a camera, lasers in the front, a compartment for wands and swords, and a modified ePad screen that acts sort of like the Master Life Van’s dashboard.”
”Why would you build this anyways.”
”It’s for Ashley, she can’t keep up with us, so I decided to give her this to help her.”
A notification went off on Ansat and Ben’s phones.
”Speak of the Mary-Sue, Ashley’s live.” Said Ansat.
”This is Ashley Blizzardhand of Irrelevant News. We’re live on the scene of a museum break in. Apparently, someone tripped an alarm. Nothing was stolen, but it might be better to just not go inside today.” She said. “More on this as it develops. This has been a very short livestream by Ashley.”
”Wow, how convenient.” Said Petunia.
”Well, I guess I know where we’re going.” Said Ariel.
They put the Weapon Bike in the Master Life Van, and set off. They reached the museum in a few minutes.
Ashley was there, surrounded by some Eggbots, who were programmed to go after her after Omelet caught wind of her report. Ansat and Ben charged at the Eggbots, making short work of them using silly tactics as some pseudo surfer music played.
They met back up in front of Ashley, high fiving. “Cowabunga!” They both said.
”Gee, I thought that my introductory episode was over.” Snarked Ashley. She then caught wind of the Friendship Squad. “And who are you guys?”
”We’re the Friendship Squad.” Said Ariel. “We help people out in the community.”
”Yeah, if people were egos.” Snarked Ansat. He and Ben started laughing.
As Ariel facepalmed, Petunia tried to explain the situation.
”We’re on a mission to stop Omelet from… something. We think that the museum is the next clue.” She said.
”Huh. To be honest, I’ve only been around for 2 episodes, so I’m not sure if this is on brand.” Replied the faux reporter.
”Let’s just go inside.” Said Ben.
”We can’t, the museum is closed. If we go inside, we’ll probably get arrested.” Said Tess.
”Leave that to us.” Said Ramona.
They hopped into the van, and got to work.
In 2 minutes, they came out of the van with what looked like a soup can.
”This thing can shut off the security for an hour at max.” Said Ben. He placed the device on the ground, as Ramona opened the door, with no alarm ringing. They walked into the museum, their friends following.
Inside of the art museum, Sasha was keeping guard as Hammer and Spike were asleep, glass bottles in hand.
"Damn, I shouldn't have brought the beer." she muttered to herself.
She woke up the two thugs, which caused them to grab laser guns.
"Alright, you little wimps. We have to steal the 'Build Mania' picture. It has the map in it." she said.
"Damn it, we just woke up!" said Spike.
"Shut up and do the thing." said Sasha.
Petunia spotted a moving vase.
"Hey, that vase wasn't there a few seconds before." she said.
The vase moved back into where it was before. Everyone noticed that. They walked over to the vase.
"Hey, Ben?" asked Ansat.
"Yeah?"
"It's time to play..."
"KICK THE EXPENSIVE MUSEUM PROPERTY!" they both yelled in unison.
The vase didn't move.
"Huh, I thought that would've scared them." said Ben.
Ansat looked behind the vase, only to find nobody there.
"Huh?"
Ariel spotted some shadowy figures moving around in the darkness.
"Hey!" she yelled. The figures then started running away. The group started chasing after them, but it had gotten so dark to the point where nobody could see two inches in front of them.
"Damn, we're screwed." said Tess. "We would need some sort of plot convenient mistake from one of those buffoons to progress."
Suddenly, a flash went off, and a camera noise sounded. Sasha had taken a picture of something with her laser eye.
"What a coincidence." said Tess. Ansat ran after Sasha, and curled up into a ball.
Sasha dodged through luck, and tried to escape, along with Hammer and Spike.
The group ran after them, only Ansat and Ben being able to catch up to them. However, Sasha grabbed the buffoonish thugs, and crashed through a skylight. Then, a ladder dropped down.
"Hop in!" yelled Omelet. As the three climbed inside, Ansat tried to catch the ladder, but it retracted. Ben flew up to the ladder, only to find that there was a helicopter, and he was close to the rotors. Ben almost got slashed, so he flew away for all of 2 seconds.
He returned, flying a weird gliding thing. He retracted a ladder. "Hop in!" he yelled, as Ansat climbed aboard. He sat on one of the turbines as the ladder retracted.
The girls rushed to the van where Ashley found the Weapon Bike.
"Whoa, cool!" she said. She put her camera in the camera holder as she turned it on. She took off after the helicopter, along with the Friendship Squad.
On the helicopter, Omelet was praising the lackeys.
"You actually got something right! Now we can find the treasure of Lamplight's founders!" He said.
"Aw, gee. Thanks, boss!" said Spike.
That was when the helicopter shook a little.
"What was that?" asked Hammer.
Sasha looked out the window, behind her, to see Ben's glider blasting the helicopter.
"Eat lasers, Egghead!" said Ben.
Sasha started firing laser blasts from her eye at Ben in response. As the two were shooting at each other, Ansat tried throwing stuff from his bag at the helicopter. Stuff like cans of Italian food, old wands that he'd collected, and textbooks from last school year. Hammer tried throwing stuff back at him, too, until he accidentally threw the painting. Ansat caught the painting, as Omelet yelled at him.
"Naw, it's fine, other boss." said Hammer. "Sasha took pictures, we don't need the painting anymore."
As Hammer said that, Ansat and Ben looked at the painting. It was torn open, and a map was in between the painting and the frame.
"Sh*t..." they both said.
Ben landed the glider, letting the villains get away, as Ashley stopped the Weapon Bike and the Friendship Squad stopped the Master Life Van.
"What happened?" asked Ariel.
"Uhh, well, the..."
Ben struggled to form a sentence, so he showed the painting.
Everyone was shocked. Ramona took off her glasses, and rubbed her eyes.
"Benjamin," she said. "You do realize that you've destroyed a valuable painting worth trillions of gold, after we just broke into the museum, right?"
Ben was nervous. "It wasn't me! It was ripped when Hammer threw it at us."
"Still, your prints were on it. If my mom finds out about this, and the fact that we broke into the art museum, SHE'D PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER, AND I'LL BE GROUNDED FOR LIFE!" she yelled, shaking Ben.
"No need to fret. This happens sometimes when I'm painting, I can see it back together." said Petunia.
"You'd better!"
And do, the group went back to the Friendship Squad's clubhouse.
While sewing the picture back together, Petunia noticed a map inside.
"Hey, it's a map!" she said.
Tess pulled the map out of the painting. "It's a map of Prodigia!" she said.
"But, like, all faded 'n stuff." said Ansat.
"Hey, this map leads to treasure!" said Ariel.
"So that's it," said Ben. "They're looking for treasure!"
Just then, Petunia finished sewing the picture back together. The thread itself was very well hidden. She gave the picture to Ansat as he dashed out of the room as soon as possible.
Everyone else tried their hardest to think of a plan.
Episode 20: The Search for the Founders[]
That morning, everyone was down at Shipwreck Shore, pushing a boat into the ocean. The boat itself was pretty old. Its wood was rotting, it had tons of holes in the hull, the sails were torn as all hell, and overall, it was not fit for sailing. Once they tried sailing that ship, they sank immediately.
"Well that could've gone better." said Ariel.
"Maybe we can rebuild it? We need to wrap this arc up quickly, anyways." said Petunia.
And so, they did, but since everything was so damaged, they made a new boat, with motors and stuff. They even had wetsuits for diving underwater, since the treasure was supposedly there. It looked sort of like a mini cruise ship.
They pushed this new boat out onto the water. It actually floated this time. Everyone was cheering and high fiving. And so, they set off.
Unbeknownst to them, Julia was tracking their location.
"You fools have bungled every job we have you, but we'll give you one last chance!" said the scientist to the three lackeys. "Trail those meddling kids with the helicopter, and maybe I'll reconsider kicking you back to Archana!"
"I'm not from Archana, lady." said Sasha.
"Well. Then... I'll take your phone!"
"You're not my mom!"
"DO THE DAMN JOB!"
Sasha grumbled as she showed Hammer and Spike the helipad, where Omelet's egg themed helicopter was.
In the garage, Omelet was still working on his latest achievement, grinning at the sight.
"It's finally done!" He said, before busting out onto an evil laugh.
Back on the boat, the group had gotten to where the treasure was estimated to be.
"Alright. Me, Petunia, Tess, and Ramona will go diving. You three watch the boat." said Ariel.
"Dammit, why do we get to watch the boat?" asked Ansat, who was lounging in a beach chair.
"Because I don't want any of you stealing the treasure."
"Gee, so Ansat pisses you off and you lump his friends into the delinquent category?" asked Ben, who was tightening some bolts on his conductor.
"Seems kind of unfair to me." said Ashley, who was editing video footage on her phone.
"Just... Shut up and let us handle this." said Ramona, as she put on her diving helmet, and jump off of the boat. Everyone else but the three "delinquents" followed suit.
"Lousy filthy hippie hypocrites..." muttered Ansat.
Under the sea, the girls saw most amazing sights. They saw monsters, and sea creatures alike. They all marveled at the sights, before coming across a cave, with an air pocket inside.
"This is the cave!" said Tess. They swam inside, and saw pictures of people, as well as treasure chests galore.
"Whoa, look at all of the founders!" said Petunia.
There was one painting of four of the most important founders. One of them had red hair, another was holding up a camera, as it was new at the time. The other had a cricket bat in hand. The last one had a paintbrush.
"Hey, it's Missy Lightstorm!" said Ariel.
"And Dina Firefly!" said Ramona.
"And Lily Waterblast!" said Tess.
"Hey, there's Cassie Thundershield!" said Petunia.
The four girls marveled at the paintings, before three people came out from the ocean.
"Freeze, hippies!" said Sasha. Hammer and Spike then proceeded to back the girls into a corner. They tried to fight back, but Hammer and Spike, in an act of competency, had some armor on.
Sasha then walked towards the treasure chests. She opened one, which had a note inside.
"Dear future wizards. If you have found this, then Lamplight Town must be thriving. Me and my friends are most pleased with the progress. We never thought that a small group of wizards would have found a place to settle down in. I do hope that you all are getting along well, and that no wars have broken out or anything.
Your friend, Missy Lightstorm."
"What the hell?" asked Sasha. She closed that one chest angrily. "What the f*ck kind of treasure is this?!"
"Uhh, if there's no treasure, what should we do with the girls?" asked Hammer.
"Kill them. I'm already in a pissed off mood."
The thugs pulled out laser guns, when three other figures emerged from the ocean.
"Sneaker power!" yelled Ansat and Ben, as they charged at Hammer and Spike. The thugs turned their attention to the two teenage boys, as Ashley recorded everything.
Sasha spotted Ashley, and ran at her. Ashley then proceeded to drop her camera, grab Sasha by the shirt, and fall backwards, sticking her foot in her gut as she threw Sasha behind her.
"Huh. I had no clue I could do that." said the faux reporter.
Ben whacked Spike in the head with his conductor, distracting him as Ramona got out a taser, and zapped him.
Ansat started taunting Hammer, until he tried to leap forwards. Ansat curled up into a ball, and slammed into his midsection. Ansat uncurled from his ball form, and played air guitar while a sick riff played.
Tess stared at him, before Spike stumbled into her. Tess threw the thug over her shoulder, before kicking his head after he fell.
Petunia grabbed a paintbrush from her bag, and painted a mustache on Hammer as he tried to get up. When he got mad, she painted on his eyes.
As Julia’s lackeys were being defeated in a humiliating manner, Sasha was taken down by the combined efforts of Ariel and Ashley. Sasha started laughing.
”You dumb f*cks!” She said. “This was a trap! On the surface, Omelet and Julia planned a huge surprise.”
”Unless it’s a lifetime supply of pizza-dogs, I don’t like the sound of it.” Said Ansat.
”Yes… The entire arc has been leading up to this! The Nexo-Wheel!”
Above the cave, a tank with an eye on the top for extra vision was wheeling around Lamplight, blowing things up, as Eggbots attacked people. On the inside, which was way bigger than the outside, Omelet was piloting the Nexo-Wheel as he blasted things left and right, laughing like a maniac.
Julia was hidden in another room. She was a famed scientist from another island, after all, so if people found out that she was also behind it, her reputation was screwed.
Back in the cave, everyone was shocked, as Sasha was describing what was going on on the surface in delightfully graphic detail.
That was when Ansat shoulder bashed her, causing her to fall into the water. The rest of the group then ran past the other henchmen, and swam upwards.
”Gee, I hope my camera’s waterproof.” Said Ashley.
”Wait, how are you talking?” Asked Ramona. “We’re underwater!”
They eventually reached the boat, and made it back to the Shore in almost no time flat. They walked to Lamplight, and it turned out that what Sasha said was true. The Nexo-Wheel was blasting dudes, and generally causing a ruckus. There were also Eggbots trying to attack wizards, who were fighting back, but the robots were too persistent.
”Alright!” Yelled Ariel. “The Friendship Squad will take down the Eggbots! The rest of you, GO GET OMELET!”
Everyone ran forwards. They were taking down Eggbots left and right. It was a hectic fight.
Inside of the Nexo-Wheel, Omelet was piloting the damn thing, in a command room that looked similar to the one from his tower. He was enjoying wreaking havoc on the people of Lamplight. That was when he got an alert on his huge monitor.
”Half Brained Hedgehog and associates have entered the Nexo-Wheel.” It said.
Omelet was shocked.
”Goddamn!” He said. “Computer, where are they?!”
”At the entrance hatch.”
At said entrance hatch, Ansat, Ben, and Ashley had just gotten into the large tank.
”Whoa. This place is larger on the inside.” Said Ben.
”Huh. I didn’t know Wannabe Breakfast had it in him.” Said Ansat.
”Guys, how about we go stop Omelet?” Asked Ashley.
”Oh, yeah.”
Everyone walked through the large thing tank. There were multiple rooms. One of them was a kitchen. Another was a weight room. As the teens walked through the tank, they saw that it was more of a mobile version of Omelet’s tower. There was one room they didn’t recognize, though.
It was all the way at the front of the tank, and had a passcode screen.
”Uhh, try 1234.” Said Ansat.
Ben stared at him, dumbfounded.
”What?” Asked the speedster.
Ashley and Ben kept giving Ben ideas as to what the password might be, when he punched the keypad.
”Whoa, dude.” Said Ansat. “Message received.”
Ben then took some of the wires that were protruding from the broken keypad, and fused them together. That unlocked the door.
Ansat kicked the door open, finding Omelet controlling the Nexo-Wheel.
”Omelet!” Yelled Ansat.
Omelet turned around. “Ansat!” He yelled.
”You stupid idiot!” Said the speedster. “There’s no way you can win this fight!”
”Why don’t you try me, my blue streaked enemy?”
Omelet got out of his chair while Ansat wagged his finger.
Ben stood next to Ansat, but Ansat held him back.
”No, bro.” He said. “Only I’m kicking his @$$!”
Ben got back, while Ashley recorded.
Ansat ran at Omelet, intending to strike him down good.
Meanwhile, outside, the Friendship Squad had beaten up all of the robots, Ramona even stuffing one in her bag for studying purposes. There was only one place left to go, and that was inside the Nexo-Wheel.
After they got inside through an open hatch, and walked into where the fight was taking place.
This was playing in the background.
Ansat dashed at Omelet, and kicked him multiple times. One kick, Omelet caught his leg, and threw him into a wall. Ansat fell off of the wall, and dashed back at Omelet. Ansat curled up into a ball, and struck the scientist in the midsection. Omelet fell backwards, before swinging some punches at the teenager. Ansat kept dodging, before Omelet performed a lunging punch. Ansat did a prat fall, before kicking Omelet in the gut.
Ben noticed the giant monitor screen, and nudged Ramona in the shoulder.
”I got an idea.” Said the goggle wearing inventor. They snuck over to the screen, and went through the computer.
”Let’s see…” said Ramona. She went through plans, files and the like. Then, she decided to look at the console itself.
“Hmm,” said Ben. “What if we opened a portal to another dimension, and reverse the polarity so that it sucks itself in?”
“Nah. There’s no telling which dimension we end up in.”
Behind them, Ansat and Omelet kept fighting. Ansat ran circles around Omelet. Omelet stuck his leg out, tripping Ansat, before he curled up into a ball, and rolled towards Tess. She kicked him back towards Omelet like a soccer ball, tripping the scientist.
Just then, Julia walked into the room, holding a laser rifle. She fired them at the remaining girls. They then proceeded to try and take her down, too.
Ramona and Ben finally came up with a solution.
”How about we shrink the Nexo-Wheel…” said Ramona
”And then crush it!” Finished Ben.
They stared at each other, before, turning away awkwardly, to work on their idea.
Ansat was busy kicking the crap out of Omelet, when Omelet landed a lucky punch that sent him flying into the monitor screen. The monitor didn’t crack, but Ansat fell onto the console, onto a button that said “Temporary Self Destruct”.
You see, that button was meant to self destruct the Nexo-Drome, but only for a few weeks so that Ansat and Ben would think that Omelet’s latest machine was done for.
The timer ticked down, with 30 seconds left on the clock.
The girls who were fighting Julia immediately backed off, and ran out of the command room. Julia warped out with a transport ray gun. Ben and Ramona shrugged, and left, too. That just left Omelet and Ansat. Ansat kept punching Omelet while he was on the ground, before being thrown off.
Ansat sped over to the wall, ran up said wall, ran onto the ceiling, jumped off, curled up into a ball, and hit Omelet in the stomach. As the timer ticked with 10 seconds left.
Ansat rushed to the open hatch, where everyone else was struggling to get up the ladder. Slowly, they were getting up.
”5..4…3…2…1…”
Everyone got out in time, but Omelet wasn’t lucky. The Nexo-Wheel exploded, sending Omelet flying.
”I HATE THAT HALF BRAINED HEDGEHOG!” He screamed. He landed through the window that led to his command room. The landing is what knocked him out. Julia was standing right in front of him.
”Sorry, old friend. It seem as if I’m taking over the tower now!” She said, with an evil grin on her face.
Back in Lamplight Town, the Friendship Squad, Ansat, Ben, and Ashley were standing in front of Florian.
”Alright, guys. Even though I’m not Gale, he’s down with Bad Charactosis, so as of right now, I’m the closest thing to any political authority.” He said. He had some medals in his hand. “For your bravery in stopping the Nexo-Wheel, you all will get the Award of Prodigal Greatness”
Florian put the medals on all of the members of them Friendship Squad, but stopped when he got to Ansat.
”Sorry, you guys didn’t do anything, no medal.” Said the Earth Warden.
The three remaining teenagers were not amused.
After the ceremony, everyone held a party at Petunia’s place, which was a fairly decent sized house. The party was on the balcony, as the teens danced, and music blasted from the speakers, and everyone had a good time.
A fitting end to a Friendship Squad arc.
But one question remains.
What was in the rest of the treasure chests?
Episode 21: New Year, New Villain[]
The summer (after Omelet’s recent defeat, at least) was fun, but now it was time to go back to school, where things would probably be different. Every wizard was buying schoolbooks, wands, and other wizard stuff.
Ansat and Ben were packing their bags. Ansat was packing spray cans, cans of Chef Tony’s ravioli, a new pair of shoes Ben made him that had grindplates built in made for rail grinding, and a grappling hook. Ben was packing his laser guns, tasers, a tablet, the Big Hex conductor, and a bunch of other machinery. And so, after Ansat fed Aracute some pizza flavored lasagna (he likes that, so I guess he really does take after his owner), and the two left their treehouse.
They ran throughout Pallet Pass, until they made it to Lamplight Town. They went north, until they saw the Academy in view. Ansat saw a nearby slide, which faced south. Ansat ran up the slide, and leapt off, making some good air. Ben flew after him, and caught him by the hands, and carrying him to the Academy.
When they got there, they were met by Ashley, who was sitting down on a nearby bench near the entrance.
”You guys know that you can just use your amulets, right?” She asked.
”It’s more fun this way.” Replied Ansat.
”Whatever, let’s go inside.” Said Ben.
They walked inside of the Academy, in which everything looked different, and yet the same. Students were walking through the hallways, and chatting with each other, and bullying kids, stuff like that. That was when the three heard a noise coming from the loudspeaker.
”Attention, students! We will be holding a special back to school presentation in the auditorium in one hour! In the meantime, go swing by the office to pick up your new schedules.” Said the voice.
”That’s not Gale.” Said Ashley.
”He came down with Bad Characterzosis last year. That’s his replacement, Joe.” Said Ben.
”Gee, what a great explanation.” Snarked Ansat, folding his arms. “What’s next, Florian turns out to be a s*x offender and a neglectful dad?”
”Quit it with the snarks, we’ve got more important matters to attend to. For one, we had an auditorium?” Asked Ashley.
”Retcon.”
”Okay, well Gale had an office?”
”Retcon.”
“Well, we had loudspeakers?”
”Retcon.”
”Stop breaking the 4th wall, you’ve gone over your quota!”
”There is no quota, like there is no 4th wall.”
”Shut up!” Said Ben. “God, I just hate it whenever we fill space like this.”
And so, Ben slapped Ansat and Ashley behind their heads, and walked towards the office.
So, the three got to the office, and picked up their schedules. They turned around to see Sasha.
”What’re you doing here?” Asked Ben, who grit his teeth. “I thought you got expelled.”
”Not formally.” Said Sasha. “I technically died, and then shot up the school looking for you after I got revived, but I never got expelled.”
”Aren’t loopholes fantastic?” Snarked Ansat.
Sasha walked by the three, picked up her schedule, and left the office. Everyone groaned. They left the office, too.
An hour later, everybody made their way to the auditorium they apparently had, where they were met by Joe, who was standing on the stage.
”Now, students, I understand that you all might be confused at the addition of stuff that wasn’t here last year, but don’t worry, everything is all fine. That’s all.”
Everybody facepalmed. Clearly this was an excuse to pad out the episode, and it hadn’t worked.
Oh well, maybe next time.
”Gee, maybe next time, follow the title.” Snarked Ansat.
Chapter 22: The Sea Goddess[]
Now, it had been a week since school started up again. Now, it was the weekend. Ansat and Ben were walking to Chef Tony’s, which was their favorite restaurant. Tony was known for his pizza-dogs and canned Italian food, even though he made other things. They opened the door, and walked right in. That was when Tony greeted them.
”Ansat! Ben! How are my two favorite customers doing?” He asked.
”We’re doing fine.” Said Ben.
”Listen, we’re kind of closed right now, we have a little problem.”
”Problem? Did you run outta beef again?” Asked Ansat.
”No- I mean, yes. A group of thieves ran inside and stole my entire supply of meat. The only thing I have left is imitation meat, and tofu, but that stuff’s disgusting, and my meat eating customers will notice the difference.”
”Who do you think did it?” Asked Ben.
”Well, I caught one of them, and he said that they were situated somewhere near the beach, so maybe check Shipwreck Shore.” Replied Tony.
”Alright, we’ll check it out!” Said Ansat, as the two left the restaurant.
Ansat and Ben ran and flew to the beach respectively, as they tried to find the culprit. They started interrogating everyone on the shore, but to no avail. They even tried interrogating Ashley, who happened to be sun tanning there.
”Guys, why would I steal from Chef Tony? I live with my aunt, who’s the live in nanny for a rich couple’s children. If I wanted meat, I’d get some from the fridge.” She said.
”Yeah, well we’re leaving no stone unturned!” Said Ben.
Ansat sighed. “I was hoping it wouldn’t come down to this.”
”Come down to what?” Asked Ashley.
”Ash, if you don’t tell the truth, I’m gonna reveal your middle name to Ben.”
”You wouldn’t!”
“I would!”
”Alright, fine, I guess I’ll tell you some info, I guess. I saw some really shady looking guys swimming into the ocean holding sacks of stuff. Maybe that’s the meat.”
Ansat chuckled. “Thanks, Ash.” He ran off towards the sea. Ben followed. Ashley put her sunglasses back on, and lied back down in her beach chair.
Ansat and Ben were moving through the ocean (even though they weren’t as fast as they usually are), when they came across a large temple.
”There’s no way that the meat stealers are in here. This thing is ancient!” Said Ben.
”Well, anything’s worth a try.” Replied Ansat. “Besides, despite the fact that we’re talking just fine here, I’m almost outta breath.”
”Then maybe don’t talk underwater?”
Ansat and Ben tried to find an opening to the temple, but couldn’t find one. That’s when Ansat curled up into a ball, and started spinning very rapidly. He burrowed into the ground, and made a tunnel under the temple, and then burst through the floor, where there was air galore.
”Whoa, this place gives me bad vibes.” Said Ben. “Do ya think we should be here?”
”If the meat stealers and here, then yes.” Said Ansat.
”Wouldn’t it just be easier to get some meat where Tony gets his supply from, since we move quicker than horses, and can deliver it faster? Plus, if the thieves are here, the meat must be soggy by now.”
Silence.
”Well, we’re too far now. Let’s keep going.”
The two wandered this labyrinth of a zone, until they found a guy who was dressed in a suit. He was about to scream, and call for security, when Ansat kicked him in the face, before tying him up into a human pretzel, and kicking him like a soccer ball. They kept wandering further, when they came across a room. Inside of this room were several rows of seats, along with people dressed nicely, and a person reading from a book.
”…And so, our queen bested the individuals in mortal combat, before retreating back to the labyrinth. In short, think of this as a lesson in graciousness. If you don’t act grateful to our queen 24/7, you will be murdered.” Said the book reader.
”Did we stumble upon a church in session?” Asked Ben, who was whispering.
”Well, judging by what that guy just said, I’m gonna assume that it’s best not to interfere.” Replied Ansat.
The book reader closed his book. “On an unrelated note, once again, our queen has requested that we apprehend anybody who possesses the power of super speed, or flight.”
”Well sh*t, I have a bad feeling about this.” Said Ben.
Suddenly, a bell rang, as the wizards walked out of the church walked out of that room. Ansat and Ben got outta gear so that they weren’t spotted. Eventually, they kept wandering the temple, coming across a bunch of stuff that made the temple reminiscent of a city.
”This is one big @$$ temple.” Said Ansat.
”No kidding. I don’t know how we’re gonna find Tony’s meat supply now.” Replied Ben.
That was when they saw a bunch of wizards hauling bags of meat, labeled “chicken”, “beef”, and “pork” in a cart.
”What a coincidence.” Snarked Ansat.
”Alright, we need to stop them, but we’re wanted. How do we stop them?”
”Simple. The guy just said to apprehend anyone who uses superspeed and flight. We just need to not do that.”
“Oh, I never thought of that. Weird, I’m supposed to be the smart one.”
Ansat and Ben approached the wizards, weapons in hand.
”Who the hell are you?” Asked one of the wizards.
”Your worst nightmare!” Said Ben.
”That recurring dream where I had to cut my Uncle Louie’s toenails?” Asked a wizard.
“No, you idiot.”
”Sneaker power!” Yelled Ansat and Ben in unison.
”Sneaker power, what kind of lame @$$ catchphrase is that-“
He was socked in the jaw by Ben. Ansat took down another one by dashing at him, and curling up into a ball, hitting his midsection, and knocking the wind outta him.
The other two grunts tried to run away, but Ansat pushed the cart, before leaping on top of it, as it ran them over. However, the cart missed them, and started to roll towards a big room. Ben flew after him, and they alerted all of the people occupying the temple. Eventually, the cart went so quickly that it burst through the wall to the room. Inside of the room was a blue haired girl sitting in a throne, with a water robe on, while a bunch of water swirled around her.
”Holy guacamole, who’re you supposed to be?” Asked Ansat.
”Oh, you don’t remember me?” Asked the girl. The girl chuckled, before she broke out into a manic laugh. She then blasted Ansat with water, knocking him down.
”I am Emma Waterbolt!”
”Emma? Hold up, isn’t your last name Thunderbolt?” Asked Ben.
”Well, you see, you cretins, after you made my boat explode, I sunk to the bottom of the sea. I had woken up inside of a temple in a deep pool of water. I tried holding my breath as I swam up to the surface, and my breath gave out. I expected to drown, only to find out that I could breathe underwater. It was a miracle. I swam up to the surface, and noticed that there was a vast part of the temple that was filled with air. I knew that this place was big enough to start up my cult again, and so I swam up to the surface, and indoctrinated a bunch of innocent fools. I later found out that I could have vast water powers that could overtake whoever the water warden is. I could form water relics, and even talk to fish! After I complete building my cult into an army, I’ll take over the surface lands, and make them pay for neglecting us ocean folk!”
”Hold on, what?” Asked Ansat. “I might’ve been zoning out a few minutes into your speech, but why are you taking revenge on the surface?”
”One of my subjects told me that the Academy sold fish sticks for lunch every Monday.”
”Hey, that’s petty.” Said Ben. “Why not stop bigger issues, like oil pollution, or idiots who go fishing with their electric pets?”
”Too big of an issue.”
Ansat turned towards the fourth wall. “And yet she decides that kick starting her cult for the 3rd time in a giant temple, and effectively creating a civilization isn’t doing too much.”
“Stop snarking to the readers, and die!” Emma turned towards a fish tank, and levitated all of the water out of the tank, before causing it to hit Ben at a very fast speed. Now, in case you forgot, Ben is the fire element, so that hurt him more than if he was someone else. Then, she hit Ansat, and that hurt just as much as it hurt Ben, so that made it clear that she was actually dangerous. And so, Ansat and Ben got the hell outta gear, while carrying the bags of meat from the cart.
They left through the hole in the floor that Ansat had made when they entered. The left the temple, but Emma simply followed the two. Ansat and Ben were a long way from Prodigia, which sucked, since they forgot to swim to safety. They dropped the bags of meat, and began to try and fight. Ansat tried to hit Emma with an electric attack, but he ended up getting shocked because he forgot that he was underwater. Ben got out his conductor, and tried to whack Emma, but the water made it move slower.
Emma laughed, while Ansat and Ben were annoyed.
”Alright, we need to use the cannonball maneuver!” Said Ansat.
”Ansat, that maneuver is for splash fights, not real fights.” Replied Ben.
”Then we can go higher. Now lift me up.”
Ben grabbed Ansat by the hands, and lifted him up, high into the sky. They were above the clouds when Ansat decided that they were high up enough. Meanwhile, down below, Emma, using her water manipulation powers, managed to gather all the water within 90 miles, and readied it as a blast against the two. Now, you might be screaming, “That’s overpowered, you hypocrite”, keep in mind, Emma has become a demigoddess at this point. It’s completely within her grasp. Ben dropped Ansat, before flying after him. They both screamed “Cowabunga!” as some form of a battle cry. Emma fired the huge burst of water at them, and it cause a huge splash of water to reach up to the stars.
There was a bunch of waves in the ocean. Then, some bubbles were seen. That was when Ansat and Ben floated up to the surface, using the bags of meat as some sort of makeshift life preserver.
“Holy chalupa!” Said Ben. “What just happened?”
”How should I know? That action happened faster than me.” Replied Ansat.
”Well, we should probably get this meat back to Tony. I’m hungry.”
”Me too, pal.”
And so, Ansat and Ben swam back to Prodigia.
They gave Tony the bags of meat, and he was pleased.
”Hey, thanks guys! I was gonna lose a lot of money if I didn’t get that back!” He said.
”Heh heh, no problem.” Said Ansat.
”Just for helping me out, I’m gonna make you guys some stuffed crust chili pizza dogs, on the house!”
”Cowabunga!” Said Ben.
Ansat turned towards the 4th wall.
“Hey, a cult episode that didn’t end with a whimper.” He said. “Nice!”
Episode 23: The Dystopia[]
The students were herded up in the new auditorium. Joe was standing on the stage, tapping his microphone.
”Hello, students. I am pleased to announce that we will now be holding school elections.” He said.
”School elections?”
”Is that a thing?”
”The hell is that?”
“Basically, think of running for president, only you’re doing it inside of the school.” Said Joe. “Now, unlike some of the other schools I’ve seen, if you become class president, you can rule the school however you want.”
Everyone perked up.
”Holy sh*t, did he say anything?”
”This is getting interesting now.”
"Alright, so I'm gonna post a sign up sheet on the door to my office. Sign by Wednesday, and on Thursday, I'll explain more.”
Now, the election itself isn't really important. Just know, that there was a girl named May who wanted to run really badly. You see, she had always dreamed of running the school ever since she was 5, and making it a better place. However, over time, this view has been muddled into just ruling the school.
She had signed up right away, and hired someone to threaten anyone else who wanted to sign up into backing off. She won in a landslide. A week later, May had the official position of class president. The announcement was given over the intercom.
“Say hello to your new class president, May Fireblade!”
People cheered, not knowing about the hell that was gonna break loose.
Now, Ansat and Ben were out of commission around this time, as they were down with a cold. By next Monday, they were better, and went back to the Academy that morning. When they got there, they were surprised. The atmosphere was gloomy, and there were some students patrolling the school, dressed in dark gray uniforms.
“Well, it’s the world’s most boring costume party.” Said Ansat.
”Dude, maybe you should save the snarks until we get to class.” Replied Ben. “These guys look like they’ll kill us just for looking at them wrong.”
That was when they heard a shriek.
”Hey, let me go! I didn’t do anything!” Yelled a familiar voice.
”Ash?”
A hall officer had grabbed Ashley by the arm, and had gotten out a pair of handcuffs.
”Man, let me go! I told you, I didn’t litter that soda can!” Yelled Ashley, as she was being put in handcuffs.
“Lies! You’re going to go see the big boss lady herself!” Said the hall officer.
And so, Ansat and Ben had started their old routine of saving Ashley. They charged at the hall officer. Ansat took him down with a flying kick while Ben uncuffed Ashley. That was when a bunch of hall cops surrounded them.
”Stand down, miscreant!”
”Yeah, I forgot to tell you guys about the new hall cops…” said Ashley, sighing.
The hall cops pounced onto the three, only for them to escape in the scuffle. Ansat turned around to mock them.
”Gee, where’d you spend your karate class money?” He asked, sarcastically.
The hall cops turned around, and pounced on the three of them, this time being actually effective. Within a few minutes, they were all thrown into the detention room.
”Gee, this place looks different.” Said Ansat, who was scanning the room. The detention room looked more dreary. There were some students in cages, others handcuffed to their desks. Some of the students were wearing anklets, and others were left just fine, but they were twitching, and curled up into fetal positions. The windows had iron bars, and there were guards waiting on the outside to nab anyone who managed to get through the bars and escape.
”Whoa, what’s the deal with this place?” Asked Ben.
”Well, they tricked out detention into some sort of prison.” Said Ashley. “They trap the kids in cages, chain them to their desks, and all that stuff. They rank you based on offenses. The kids in the chains littered, and did more minor offenses, the kids in cages took more food than they were allowed to at lunch, among other things. I’m not sure what’s with the kids in the corner, though.”
One of the kids spoke up. He had bruises all over his body, and was scared.
”I-I’ll tell you.” He said. “One day, I was walking along, minding my own business, when an officer nudged into me. He then said that I hit him, and attacked me. He then brought me to May herself, and she said that I was sentenced to some kind of torture in 3 days. They haven’t let me home ever since. I think my mom filed a missing persons’ report.”
That was when an officer walked into the room.
”Come on, Conner. Torture time.” He said.
Conner started screaming. He didn’t wanna go, obviously, and lurked further back into his corner. The officer pulled out a bag of chips.
”Don’t you wanna get your last meal?”
Connor, who was too hungry and afraid to think properly, rushed towards the snacks. The officer pulled away the chips, and grabbed Connor by the arm.
”NO! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME! NO! I DON’T WANNA DIE!” He screamed as he was dragged out of the room.
Ansat growled.
”Gee, I guess there’s no such thing as a time-out anymore.” He snarked, his anger being hidden poorly within his sarcastic demeanor. Ansat looked upwards, and spotted a vent. ”Yo, Ben. Gimme a boost.”
Ben boosted Ansat up towards the vent. Ansat punched open the vent, before climbing inside. He grabbed Ben by the arm, and pulled him up, as Ben grabbed Ashley’s arm and did the same. The three crawled through the vents in an attempt to either save Connor, or get out of detention. Neither person was too sure on what the plan was. Ansat had spotted Connor being dragged by a guard from a nearby grate. Ansat kicked the grate down, causing it to land onto the officer, and saving Connor. Ansat, Ben, and Ashley then jumped down from the vents.
”What’s up?” Asked Ben.
”Th-thanks. I d-don’t know what I w-would’ve done if you hadn’t saved me.” Replied Connor. He looted the chips from the officer, and started devouring them.
”Well, I think we better jet.” Said Ansat. “We don’t wanna be late for class.”
“R-right!” Said Ashley. “We get detention for being late, too.”
And so, everybody broke several rules in an attempt to get to their first class.
Meanwhile, May was sitting at a desk, looking at the footage of some security cameras.
”So, you want to do this the hard way? Fine by me.” She said, before she broke out into a manic laughter.
Everything had sort of cooled down during the following week. Nobody had been tortured, or assaulted yet, and school seemed somewhat back to normal. However, May was still class president, and the officers were still around.
One day, Ashley was walking through the hallway, when she noticed some talking coming from a door cracked open. She took out her camera, and peered through the crack in the door. May and some of the more higher ranking officers were talking.
”We need to take over this school.” Said May. “I have a plan. Joe is incompetent, so we can just swoop right in, and take it over easily, but there’s the issue of the fact that this is a magic school, so they can retaliate.”
”But can’t we just close down the classes so that they can’t learn anymore?” Asked one of the officers.
”Well, two problems. We aren’t the goddamn Order of Influence, we have to be original, and actually competent, and if we close the classes, there’s no reason to come to the Academy anymore, and so we’ll have no more power.”
”Well, let’s just brainwash everybody into being obedient. I heard that this inventor from another island, Julia Riche, made some of that technology before moving here, so let’s just go and ask her.” Said another officer.
May grinned. “Perfect…”
Ashley had recorded all of that footage, and was prepared to upload it to her ProTube channel in an attempt to get Joe to see it, and shut down the class president program. However, she was kneeling, and by the time she tried to stand up, her legs had fallen asleep, and she fell forwards, creating an audible thud. Everybody spotted her, and it looked as if an exclamation mark was above their heads. They all bum rushed her, and captured her in seconds.
Instead of landing in detention, she was chained to the wall of a random room. The officers were trying to figure out how to delete the video off of her camera. Unluckily for them, she had saved them to the cloud before she got up, so even if they did delete it, they wouldn’t do much.
”Hey, don’t I get one phone call?” Asked Ashley.
”No, you don’t!” Said a guard.
”Ah, just let her have one, it won’t do much.” Said another.
And so, Ashley was allowed the use of her phone so that she could call someone. Who did she call?
Meanwhile, Ansat and Ben were fighting officers, when in the middle of the fight, Ansat got a phone call.
”What’s up? Really? Damn, that sucks. Okay, we’re coming.” He said. He turned to Ben, who was whacking people with his conductor.
”Change of plans. We gotta save Ashley.” He said.
”I thought she was done being a damsel in distress.” Replied the inventor.
”Well, the circumstances are different this time.”
”Fine, fine.”
Ansat and Ben walked away from the guards, who were firing spells left and right in an attempt to hit them. Needless to say, they all missed. Anyways, so our two heroes were making their way to the place, when they realized that they had no idea where the room was. They checked a bunch of random rooms until they came across the room in question. Ashley was chained to the wall, breathing a sigh of relief.
”Thanks. Those guys were close to figuring out how to delete the videos off of my camera.” She said.
Ben undid the chains, and Ashley fell to the ground.
”Now, let’s get out of-“
May and some of her other goons came into the room. The officers pulled out different wands, and started firing. Ansat dodged out of the way, while Ashley tried to escape. Ben pulled out his laser guns and started firing back. The firing kept happening, when Ansat rolled into one of the guards, before picking his body up, and throwing him into another guard. Ashley grabbed her camera, but was cornered by the guards. She slammed it into an officer’s face, before running away. More guards cornered her, so she leapt into the air, and slammed her camera into some of the guards faces as if she was dunking a basketball. Her camera was wrecked, but it was worth it.
Ben fired two lasers at one officer. Unfortunately, they blinded him, and since he couldn’t see, he started firing astral magic wildly. Some of those lasers did hit the officers, but they also hit Ansat.
”I guess randomly firing is a good tactic after all.” Said Ben.
After a few minutes of fighting, an officer ran into the room, holding a phone.
”I placed the order for the brainwashing machines! They’ll be coming in 30 minutes!” She said.
“Wait, from who?” Asked Ansat.
”Julia!” Said Ashley.
”Damn.”
”Actually, I have an idea!” Said Ben.
At the Friendship Squad’s clubhouse, Ramona was working on a modification to a leftover Eggbot she had managed to retrieve from the tower, when she had received a call.
”Oh, damn it, what does that idiot want now?” She asked herself, before picking up the phone. “Hiii!”
”Hey, what’s up, Ramona? So, we’re in the middle of a fight with the school president and her lackeys, and they made an order to receive some brainwashing technology from Julia.” Said Ben.
”Okay, what do you want me to do about it?”
”We need you to intercept it before it reaches the Academy. Now, do you think that you can rush home and get the Master Life Van?”
”I’m already home. I’ve been skipping school for the past week.”
”Why?”
”Do you think I’m gonna get thrown in detention just to learn some spells?”
”Fair.”
”Anyways, when are they coming?”
”In 30 minutes.”
”What?!”
”Yeah, get moving.”
Ramona hung up, and leapt into the Master Live Van. She opened the garage, and peeled outta there.
Back at the mysterious room, everybody was engaged in an all out brawl. There was lots of fighting, blasting, yelling, and the like. Eventually, May grabbed a remote.
“Not so fast!” She yelled. “One more move and I’ll blow this room up!”
Everyone stopped. May then got out a wand. It was mechanical, but not like Ben’s conductor. She pointed it at Ansat.
”Any last words, wizard?”
”Yep.”
”And what are they?”
”Gotta speed through!”
Suddenly, Ansat’s world became slower from his perspective. He started tapping his toe impatiently, waiting for May to fire, so that he could look all cool, before realizing that it would be even cooler if he had stopped her before. He dashed towards her, and grabbed the wand. He had then snapped it in half with his bare hands. He then proceeded to slap May in the face multiple times, before kicking her in the gut. Before she could go flying away, he curled up into a ball, and used his Extreme Speed to boost into her midsection from a standstill. He then leapt back to his original spot. Then, everybody went back to their normal speeds, and May went flying through the stone wall.
The rest of the guards all ran away. Ansat, Ben, and Ashley all left the room, high fiving, before leaving the Academy. They were about to warp back to ground level, when Ramona showed up.
”So, I intercepted the machines. Hammer and Spike were delivering them, so it was easily.” She said.
Everybody cheered. That was when May came running at them. She was about to hit Ashley with a metal pole, when Ashley stepped to the side in the nick of time. She crashed into Ramona, who grabbed her by the wrist.
”Oh no! Do you know how deep in sh*t I am for skipping school because of you?!” She said. “I had to hide out at my clubhouse so that my mom doesn’t ground me until college!”
”Wait, didn’t you choose to skip school?” Asked Ashley.
”It’s pretty much on brand for them to be hypocrites.” Replied Ansat.
Ramona dragged the powerless May to detention, where she locked her inside of a cage, before chaining the cage to a desk leg.
May started yelling.
”Hey! Let me out right now! I command you!”
And so, with the rest of the officers having been scared away, the dictatorship of May Fireblade had been put to an end.
Episode 24: Krazy Killer Clowns[]
Ansat, Ben, and Ashley were watching a horror movie at Ashley’s apartment, inside of a movie room (remember, her aunt is a live in nanny for a rich couple). The movie was about creepy clowns, who roamed the streets of Lamplight Town, preying on anyone who comes by.
”Ansat, I’m scared!” Said Ben.
”Chillax. How can anyone be scared by a bunch of rubber face wearing morons with axes?” Replied Ansat.
Suddenly, they were jumpscared, and both of the boys leapt behind the couch. Ashley facepalmed. That was when Jenna, Ashley’s aunt Mel’s charge, walked into the room.
”OMG! Ashley, get your homeless friends, and get out! My friends are coming over!” She said.
”No way, this movie’s too good.” Replied the faux reporter.
“Listen, Ashley. There’s no way my friends are gonna watch a movie about clowns killing people. We could watch romance movies instead.”
Ansat and Ben were disgusted. “Bleugh!”
”Sorry, my friends don’t want to watch that.” Said Ashley.
”Then get out!”
And so, the three friends went out of the movie room, and to the main room, and down the elevator.
“Nice friends ya got there.” Said Ansat, sarcastically.
”Whatever. All we need to do is go f*ck around for 2 hours.” Ashley.
”That’s what she said!” Said Ben.
Everybody started laughing, before leaving the elevator.
They left the apartment building, and went outside. They then decided to go to Tony’s.
Meanwhile, there were some children playing at a park, while their parents were talking. A person in a clown suit was standing around, when he saw the kids. He was being filmed by another clown. He walked up to the kids, and scared them all away. Their parents found out, and started chasing after the clown, wands and staffs in hand. The clown took out a knife, and slashed at them, actually doing damage. The parents fell to the ground, before the kids managed to get away.
The trio was nearby, when Ashley saw the whole thing go down.
”Hey, how about we skip the park this time?” Asked the faux reporter.
”No way! I wanna test my new grind rail shoes out!” Said Ansat.
“Come on, we don’t need to-“
Ansat and Ben pushed past Ashley when they saw the killer clowns. Now, they normally could’ve taken the clowns, but they had just watched that horror movie about clowns, so they were scared sh*tless.
”Dude, it’s…”
”Run!”
The clown swung his knife. Ansat and Ben ran away in a cartoonish fashion. The clown chased after them. And so, Ashley chased after them all, using her phone as a makeshift camera. They ran all throughout Lamplight Town, before Ansat remembered that he had super speed. He grabbed Ben’s hand, and ran into a mall. The clown chased them into there. All of the people shopping freaked out, and ran out of sight of the clown. Ashley had caught up, still filming. She turned her phone around to face her.
”This is faux reporter Ashley Blizzardhand, live at the scene of a crazy clown killer on the loose!” She said. She turned the phone around, which was currently filming this killer, who was trying to kill Ansat and Ben. They had almost gotten away when they had reached a dead end.
“Well well well, what have we here? Two teenagers?” Said the clown, who was inching closer. “I guess I’ll finally see how young blood tastes.”
”Eww!” Said Ben.
”Shut it, nerd! You two can’t escape me!”
Ansat whispered in Ben’s ear, before they both nodded. Ben walked in front of the clown, sticking his tongue out at him. The clown lunged at Ben, as he hopped backwards, causing the clown to fall onto the ground. Ansat then vaulted over his head as if he was playing leapfrog, kicking him in the head. They then ran past Ashley, who was still recording. The clown was stunned, so she flipped him off and ran away.
Now, the clown attacks kept happening. It was mass hysteria. There were clowns in the streets, clowns in stores, clowns at the Academy, clowns everywhere. Even worse, it got to the point where the genuine clowns who weren’t trying to kill people got harassed in the streets.
Now, Ashley was sick of this, so she decided to do some sleuthing to find out. Through some special internet searching skills akin to a commentary YouTuber, plus some other detective work (i.e. an IP grabber), she managed to find out that the most of the clowns were hiding out in an abandoned house. And so, she grabbed her phone, a selfie stick, the keys to the Weapon Bike, and a flashlight. She dashed out of her room, rushed right past Jenna, and into the elevator. When she left, she grabbed her bike which was by a rick rack near the apartment.
She swung by Pallet Pass, at Ansat and Ben’s treehouse, where they were busy practicing some martial arts moves.
”Okay, now I’m gonna demonstrate the Tomoe Nage.” Said Ansat. He motioned for Ben to run towards him, before grabbing his shirt, sticking his foot in Ben’s gut, and prat falling, so that the momentum caused Ben to fly out of the treehouse, hitting the ground.
”Yowch!” He said. “Could you at least put down a mat next time?”
”Sorry, but if you can’t take a fall, stay away from the ground!“ taunted Ansat.
”That doesn’t even make sense!”
”Hey guys, I found a great spot to do graffiti at!” Said Ashley.
”No way. Those hippies are gonna show up.” Said Ansat.
”I don’t even like doing graffiti.” Said Ben.
”Well, the Friendship Squad don’t know about the place, and there’s also lots of old machinery.” Lied the faux reporter. “It’s perfect for you two!”
”Alright, I’m down.” Said Ansat.
”I could make a new kind of laser…” said Ben.
And so, as Ashley set off on her bike, Ansat and Ben followed her, running and flying respectively.
They reached the place, when Ansat and Ben noticed something off.
”A haunted house? That’s a good place for graffiti?” Asked Ansat.
”Unless this guy is some sort of dead genius, I don’t think there’s much machinery here.” Said Ben.
”Nonsense, it’s all fine!” Said Ashley, who was holding her phone. “Let’s go inside.”
They entered the haunted house, every step they took causing a creak in the old floorboards. This place put everybody off. It was also really dark, so almost nobody could see where they were going.
Ben held his laser gun tightly. “Where’s the machine stuff? I wanna get outta here as quick as possible.”
“It’s somewhere around here.”
That was when a creepy clown popped out from a doorway. Everybody ran away. The trio reached a dining room, and stopped when they thought that the clown was gone.
”Ashley! You never said that there were clowns here!” Said Ben.
”Sorry, but how else was I gonna solve this mystery?” Replied Ashley.
”Oh, gee, I dunno, maybe you could’ve tipped off the police?” Snarked Ansat.
”The point is, we need to solve the mystery. Do it for the greater good, or because it’s fun, whatever your motivations as heroes are.”
”Now we’re talking!” Said Ansat.
“Let’s cause hell!” Said Ben.
”That won’t be another catchphrase, will it?”
”Hopefully not, that sounded lame.”
They left the dining room, determined to look for clues. After searching for an hour, they finally reached the master bedroom. Unfortunately, it was turned into some sort of supervillain lair. There were around 20 clowns in a meeting.
”Ooh, I got it! How about we use real blood for our makeup?” Asked one clown.
Everybody else agreed.
”How about we hack off some of the limbs of the victims, and sell them as burgers?”
Everybody else agreed.
”How about we kidnap our child victims and-”
Before he could finish his statement, everybody threw items at him, as well as booing and beating him up. Eventually, they ran that clown out of the room. He ran past the trio, and started screaming bloody murder.
”Intruders!” He yelled.
All of the clowns looked at the doorway.
”Hey, it’s that Ashley chick!” Said a clown. “My daughter watches her channel!”
“Goddamn it, get them!” Yelled another one.
Everybody ran away from the clowns, before a whole chase scene happened. Ansat, Ashley and Ben ran into a hallway of doors, and started running through them, as the clowns followed. Eventually, they ditched them, but that was when the leader of their operation cornered them. He had green hair, and a dark red suit.
”Now, time to die, you cretins!” He said, waving his machete around. Ben did some quick thinking and shot the clown in the foot with his laser gun. The trio then dogpiled onto this clown, before tying him up and dragging him out of the door.
”Now to see who this guy really is!” Said Ashley, smirking. She pulled off the creep’s clown mask. ”Wait, who the hell is this?”
”A clown?” Replied Ben.
”Brilliant observation, Benjamin.” Snarked Ansat. “However do you do it?”
The clown spoke up.
”I just wanted to pull a funny Pumpkinfest prank.”
”In September?”
”Yeah. We were gonna build media hype, and then spook everybody, before going on a killing spree.”
“We’re taking your goofy @$$ to the police.” Said Ashley.
And so, after Ben blew up the mansion, the clowns were all arrested for attempted murder and disturbing the peace.
And so, the trio were back at Ashley’s apartment watching TV.
”Well, at least we won’t see any clowns ever again.” Said Ben.
Then, the TV started playing a commercial.
”Get tickets now for the latest horror thriller chiller killer movie! The Crazy Killer Klowns!”
And so, Ansat, Ben, and Ashley were all pissed off, rushing to the TV to change the channel.
Episode 25: Who’s the Nutjob?[]
Ansat and Ben were eating at Tony’s when suddenly, somebody ran in with a wand, pointing it at the cash register.
”Gimme your money!” She said.
Ansat and Ben groaned.
”You know, you’re not supposed to exert yourself too much after eating.” Snarked Ansat, as he was about to get up.
Suddenly, another guy burst into the restaurant. He held a shuffle boarding stick in one hand, and a cricket bat in the other. He had a welding mask on, and long hair. He smacked the robber with the shuffleboarding stick, knocking her to the ground. He then proceeded to beat her brutally with the cricket bat, before tying her up in a human pretzel, and rolling her out the door.
Ansat and Ben were shocked.
”Dude, is this guy nuts or what?” Asked Ben.
”Yikes, I’d hate to see what this guy does to murderers.” Replied Ansat.
And so, they kept eating as everyone watched the vigilante leave the restaurant.
The next day, Ansat and Ashley were walking through the shopping district of Lamplight.
”Have you ever noticed that this place gets more modern every time we walk through it?” Asked Ashley.
”No, not really.” Replied Ansat.
”Do you ever notice anything?”
”No, not really. Everything’s too boring for that.”
Suddenly, a woman cried out.
”My purse! He stole my purse!”
And so, a hooded figure was running down the street. Ansat stuck out his leg, and tripped him, but seconds before he hit the ground, the masked vigilante tackled him. He then started brutally assaulting him with the cricket paddle. He was about to stomp on his head, when Ansat tackled the bastard.
”Chill out, dude!” He said.
”You know, obstructing justice is a crime!” Said the vigilante.
The vigilante then put Ansat into a chokehold. Ansat couldn’t break out, so Ashley grabbed a random wand on the ground, and bashed it over the vigilante’s head. That distracted him enough, so Ansat elbowed both of his rib cages, and threw him over his shoulder. The two idiots kept fighting until the vigilante spotted another purse snatcher, and ran after him. Ansat could’ve chased after him, but as one can imagine, getting attacked repeatedly with sports equipment hurts.
The next day, Ansat and Ben were trying to think of a way to stop this vigilante guy. That was when they decided to try and lure him into a trap. And so, the plan was set. Later that day, Ansat was spraying some paint on a billboard, before someone showed up.
No, it was not a member of the Friendship Squad.
The vigilante growled.
”Vandalism is illegal, lawbreaker!” He yelled. He then charged at the speedster, shuffleboarding stick in hand. Ansat stood still, expecting for Ben to intervene. Ben didn’t intervene, and Ansat got his head slammed against the billboard. Ansat then shook the vigilante off of him, and hopped down the ladder. The vigilante followed, snarling like a wild beast. A fight then broke out.
”Prepare to die, lawbreaker!”
The vigilante smacked Ansat upside the head with the shuffleboarding stick. Ansat then took out two of his daggers. He started stabbing at the vigilante, before the fight broke out onto the street.
Ansat kicked away the vigilante, but as he chased after him, Ansat leapt behind a fire hydrant, and cut off the… round… circle thingy, causing a blast of water to shoot off at this guy, sending him backwards into a random civilian. As the vigilante got up, Ansat started laughing at him.
”I don’t mean to rain on your parade, but you don’t gotta be treating everything like a capital punishment.” said Ansat.
”Shut up, criminal scum!” Replied the vigilante as he charged at him, empty handed. Ansat threw away his daggers, and started clashing with him.
Around this point in time, Ben flew over, and saw Ansat fighting with the vigilante. He then flew about 5 feet away from a lamppost. Ansat saw Ben, and ran past the lamppost. The vigilante chased after him, but Ben grabbed a grappling hook, and threw it at the lamppost, the rope wrapping around, and latching on. This all happened so quickly that the vigilante couldn’t even comprehend why he tripped and fell.
Ansat and Ben then proceeded to tie this guy up. Ansat then called Ashley.
“Yo, Ash. Get over here, we got a hot new story for ya.” He said.
”I’ll be right there!” Replied Ashley, who was editing a video.
5 minutes later, Ashley arrived on the Weapon Bike, phone in hand. She then started recording this.
”This is Ashley Blizzardhand on the scene at Lamplight Town, as we see the masked vigilante who’s been committing assault, battery, and even a few counts of manslaughter in an attempt to cut down on the crime in the city.” Said Ashley. She panned the camera over to the vigilante, where Ben was standing, Ansat being too bored to stay still.
”Umm, yeah, so now we’re gonna see who this dude really is!” Said Ben.
He pulled the welding mask off of the vigilante, and had a shock.
”Conner?” He asked.
Yeah, the vigilante was Connor from that class president episode.
”Wait, Connor?” Asked Ashley. “What the hell’s going on here?”
”Well, you see…” said Connor.
”Oh boy,” said Ansat, who had just arrived. “Flashback time.”
”After you guys had rescued me from being tortured, the guards caught me again, and upped my punishment from getting cut in the arm 100 times to listening to polka music for 5 hours!” Said Connor.
Everyone gasped.
”I’m gonna have to censor that in editing!” Said Ashley. “I’m gonna get demonetized!”
Connor continued. “I don’t know what happened, but after around the 30 minute mark, I think my mind broke. Then, May’s dictatorship fell, but I wasn’t freed until 2 days later. The polka music was looping, and the phone playing it was connected to a charger! I was finally freed by the janitor Joe hired, but it was too late. Then, in order to prevent anyone from causing this to anyone else, I became a vigilante!”
Ashley was shocked, Ben was on the verge of tears, and Ansat was angry.
”What a b*tch!” Said Ashley, on the verge of crushing her phone.
”That’s horrifying!” Said Ben.
”That’s mega bogus!” Said Ansat. He then calmed down a little. “But still, you can’t be trying to kill everyone that commits a crime!”
“But what do I do if someone’s in trouble?” Asked Connor.
”Then beat ‘em up with cartoon hijinks.” Said Ben. “It works for us.”
“Well-“
They heard a woman cry for help, as someone was trying to mug her in a nearby alley.
”Hey, that sounds like-“
Ansat cut open the ropes with his dagger, as he and Connor leapt into the back alley.
”Let’s kick @$$!” They both yelled.
Episode 26: Pirates of the Boardwalk[]
Ansat and Ben were trying to haul a light blue couch into their treehouse. Ashley happened to be walking by, and was confused.
”Where’d you two get that couch?” She asked.
”In a dump.” Said Ben.
”Why doesn’t it look like it’s from a dump?”
”Apparently this rich guy ordered a couch, but it was the wrong color, so he hauled it to the dump.” Said Ansat.
”Wait, how do you know that?”
”The rich guy told us, He even gave it to us for free.”
They finally got the couch into the treehouse, right in front of the TV. The two idiots then leapt onto the couch, and turned on the TV.
”Finally, we don’t have to sit on the floor anymore!” Said Ben.
”Heh, couches are cool!” Said Ansat, as he high fived his buddy.
”So, what are you guys gonna do now?” Asked Ashley, from the ladder.
”Watch music videos and make stupid commentary.” Said Ben.
“Well, I was going to cover the fair.”
”Winterfest?”
”No, some new thing they came up with. It’s meant to invoke a sense of community, or something. I’m really only covering it for views, Aunt Mel cut off my allowance so that I can learn to be independent.”
”No chance, it’s probably some hippie thing.”
”Tony’s selling pizza-dogs-“
”We’re there, dude!”
And so, in the span of a few minutes, the three arrived at the fair, which was huge. It spread across Lamplight town and Shipwreck Shore. There were stands selling food, stands advertising stores, all that fair stuff.
“Whoa, this is cool!” Said Ben.
”Mega incredulouso!” Said Ansat.
Ashley and Ben both stared at him.
”I know we tend to speak in millennial slang, but since when have we ever said something that stupid?” Asked Ben.
”Christ, Ansat, if you ever say that again, I’m gonna freeze you into a block of ice before shattering you with a hammer.” Threatened Ashley.
”Alright, fine.”
The three had a fun time, winning games, eating food, stuff like that.
”Dude, they’re holding a water balloon fight at the beach!” Said Ben, who was reading a brochure. “Let’s roll!”
”I’ve got enough footage, let’s go!” Said Ashley.
They walked over to Shipwreck Shore, where there was no water balloon fight. Everyone was tied up, as some pirates were walking away with a bunch of boxes.
”Whoa, are those guys with Eve?” Asked Ashley.
”No way, she left to conquer a new island last week. These guys have gotta be someone else.” Said Ben.
Ansat sighed. “So that’s why the episode title is ‘Pirates of the Boardwalk.” He said.
Ansat, Ben, and Ashley were walking to the edge of the beach, when they spotted the Friendship Squad.
”Oh, goddamn it, how many times are you guys gonna show up? Your arc is over!” Said Ansat.
”It’s not our fault that the author grew a liking to us!” Replied Ariel.
”Goddamn it, after this episode, you guys can’t come back for at least 2.” Said Ben.
”No way, we’re gonna elevate to secondary characters.” Said Ramona.
”Guys, how about we try to help everybody out?” Asked Ashley.
”Oh yeah, right.” Said everybody.
Ansat cut open Petunia’s ropes with his dagger, before she untied her friends, and started untying everyone else.
”So, like, what happened, dude?” Asked Ansat.
”Well,” said Tess. “We were going to play some of the games, when some pirates came here. Apparently there was some treasure under the boardwalk. The people weren’t gonna let them have it since it was enough money needed to repair some of the collateral damage from the Eggbot incident, but the pirates fought everyone and tied us all up, before running away.”
”Eesh, that sucks.” Said Ashley.
“Well, we gotta go after them!” Exclaimed Ben.
”We need to get the boat! It’s the only way we can go after them.” Said Petunia.
”Sweet, where is it?”
”At the docks, but we need someone to slow down the pirates. It might take a little bit for the boat to start up.” Said Ariel. “We need someone quick on their feet with enough stamina to last the journey.”
Everyone looked at Ansat, who was staring off into space.
”What’re you guys looking at?”
And so, Ansat set off.
The closest place that he saw was a hotel of sorts. Given the face that Shipwreck Shore was full of, well, shipwrecks, some of the pirates decided to pate up some of the shipwrecks into hotel rooms, and building a main room. It definitely beats stealing. Ansat ran past the hotel, and encountered some pirates.
”Hey wait, are you the hotel staff or the pirates who stole the treasure?” Asked Ansat.
”Uhh, the hotel staff.” Said a pirate.
”The pirates who stole stuff went that way.” Said another pirate, pointing towards the shoreline.
Ansat nodded, and ran towards the shoreline. He ran through, until he found an upper deck filled with chairs and people sitting in those chairs, eating food and watching the view. Ansat ran past all of them, until he reached a trampoline. He leapt off of it, and ended up on top of the room of this deck, and hopped down onto another part of the beach. He then ran through a loop de loop made of rock, which was all natural.
”Would you believe it if I said that all the loop de loops on this island were fully natural?” Asked Ansat, who was looking at the 4th wall. He looked back where he was running, and curled up into a ball. As soon as he did that, he flew off of a ramp. He hit the ground, and uncurled, before running towards a large, steep rock hill.
There were trampolines on some of the flat parts, but Ansat simply curled up into a ball, used his Extreme Speed to rev up (don’t ask me how that works), and set off up the steep hill thingy. He made it to the top, where there was grass and a lighthouse, where there was a bridge connecting it. Ansat dashed across the bridge, scaled up to the lighthouse top, before leaping up, and into the large hole that was inside of a cave. He hit the ground running, ran up the wall, and exited the cave as it turned into a rocky wall. He dashed through a hole, and landed above a pond.
He leapt from one platform to the next, before finding a downwards ramp. He rolled down the ramp, and landed on an extended dock.
”All I have to do is cruise this coast!” He said. He ran across the docks, before an orca chased after him. The orca wrecked the docks, but Ansat made it to the other side. After a few more minutes of running through the Shipwreck Coast, he finally made it to the pirates.
”Man, where are those guys?” Asked Ansat.
”Arrg, it’s a stupid kid!” Said a pirate. They all got their swords out.
”Shut up, or I’ll gouge your other eye out.” threatened Ansat. He leapt onto the ship, somehow. The pirates then tried slicing and stabbing at him, and he kept dodging. However, Ansat was up against the edge of the ship, and there was no more land. That was when another, more modern boat showed up next to the pirate ship.
Ben fired a laser at a pirate, taking out his other eye by accident. The pirates turned around to face the boat.
”Man the cannons!” Yelled one of them.
”They have cannons?!” Yelped Ben.
”Yes, Benjamin, because a pirate ship doesn’t have cannons.” Snarked Ariel.
”Well, to be fair, I forgot that pirate ships had cannons.” Admitted Ramona, who was steering. “This place is losing its roots.”
“Can you guys stop arguing and help me?!” Exclaimed Ansat.
”Petunia, take the wheel!” Said Ramona, as she took one of Ben’s laser guns. The two inventors started firing. They hit a bunch of pirates, knocking them over.
Tess boosted Ariel onto the ship, before leaping onto a net on the side of the hull, and climbing up.
The pirates turned their attention onto them, which gave Ansat an opening to go into the cabin. He found the captain, who’s hat and coat was red, counting the coins he’d stolen at his desk. That was when he was spotted.
”Arr, what the devil are you doing in here, landlubber?” He said.
”Huh?”
The captain dropped his accent.
”What the f*ck are you doing in my cabin?”
”Uh, I’m here to steal back our treasure.”
”Well, you’re not getting it!” Said the captain, putting back on his accent. That was when Ashley walked in.
”And here is the captain that stole all of this treasure.” She said. She got a microphone, and held it up to the captain. “Tell me, sir. Why are you stealing stuff that could be used for the greater good?”
”Because I can!” He yelled. He grabbed a sword, and held it up to Ashley’s throat. “You’d best back down, girl.”
”No way, I could get tons of views for this!”
While Ashley and the captain were arguing, Ansat took the chair out of the desk, and bashed it over the captain’s head. It broke, and the captain only looked back at Ansat in anger.
”Damn, I thought that would work.” Muttered Ansat.
The captain roared, and his body started to change. His skin turned pink and scaly. His arms and legs turned into tentacles, and his mouth gained multiple sets of teeth. He grew 5 heads taller, so tall that his head touched the ceiling.
”Face the wrath of Krow!” He yelled.
”Ever think of filling out a name change form?” Snarked Ansat.
”SHUT UP!”
Ansat grabbed Ashley’s hand and bolted.
That was when all the other pirates transformed into sea creatures, too. They grew, and destroyed the ship. Everyone hopped back onto the other boat, and started firing a bunch of spells at the pirates, but to no avail.
Captain Krow grew even bigger, before smashing his tentacles into the ocean, causing a whirlpool. Everyone was spinning around, panicking.
”I don’t wanna die!” Screamed Tess.
”I never got to publish the video!” Yelled Ashley.
”We’re too cool to go!” Yelped Ansat and Ben, hugging each other.
”I never got to go to college and study robotics!” Exclaimed Ramona.
”Not like this!” Cried Ariel.
And they all wiped out.
.
.
.
An undisclosed amount of time later, the group washed up on the beach, along with the boxes of money.
”Whoa, is this heaven?” Asked Ansat.
”No, because you’re here.” Replied Ariel.
”You guys suck.”
”Hey, the money!” Said Ben. “We got the money back!”
”Now we can give it back to the people!” Said Ramona.
Everybody got up, and then realized that it would take too much time and energy for them to donate the money in this state.
”Damn, I’m tired.” Said Ansat. He turned to the 4th wall. “Yeah, I know. I never thought I’d ever say that, either.”
”You know, we don’t have to give the money back right this second…” said Ariel. “What should we do?”
”Wanna watch TV at the treehouse? We just got a new couch.”
”I’m down.”
And so, Ansat, Ashley, Ben, and the Friendship Squad were all sitting on the couch, watching some channel called Pop Culture TV, PTV in short.
A pretty cool ending for a Friendship Squad episode.
Episode 27: The Clash of Delinquents[]
Ansat was busy, spraying paint on the side of a building, as per usual. The graffiti mural was actually sort of cool looking. That was when someone walked up behind him.
”Alright, Ariel, you don’t scare-“
He turned around to find a police officer, who happened to be Ramona’s mom.
Yeah, remember her?
”Ansat, you’re under arrest for vandalism!” She said.
He wagged his finger. “Only if you can catch me!”
He bolted, so she followed him on her horse. Ansat vaulted over a chain fence, and reached a dead end. Ramona’s mom’s horse managed to leap over the fence, and caught up with him.
”End of the line, kid.” She said, as she pulled out a pair of handcuffs.
Ansat started looking for an avenue of escape, when he spotted a fire escape in front of him. The problem was that the ladder was too high for him to reach while standing. Luckily for him, there was a white crate of… something a foot away from the ladder. Ansat rushed towards the crate, and vaulted off of it, reaching the ladder, and climbing up.
Ansat sat on the rooftops, staring at the beautiful city below, with all of its lights, and people walking by, while eating a pizza-dog when he saw a sight in the air.
Now, in this universe, Ben’s the only one with a plane, and even then, he upgraded it into a glider, so in order to travel through the air, people enlist the help of cycle powered propellers to pull along air carriages that also had wings. That was what Ansat had seen.
”Hey, cool, a propellor-cycle.” He said. He then heard yelling from below.
”Goddamn it, get back here! Now I understand why my daughter hates you so much!” Said Ramona’s mom.
”Gotta speed through!” Said Ansat as he leapt off of the roof.
The next day, Ansat was asleep on the couch, with the TV on. Ben saw Ansat on the couch and groaned.
”Damn it, man. You were out all night doing graffiti again, weren’t you?” He asked. Ansat didn’t respond, so he lifted the couch up, and shook it, until Ansat fell off.
”What the hell do you want?” Asked the speedster.
”Did you forget we have classes today?” Replied Ben.
”It’s not like I was going anyways.” Muttered Ansat, who tried to roll over and go back to sleep. Ben simply got his bag, grabbed him by the hands, and carried him to the Academy while flying. They entered the gates, only for Ansat to walk off somewhere else. 2 minutes later, he was being chased by some hall monitors Joe assigned. Ben facepalmed.
Eventually, the two made it to class, and spotted a new girl, standing in next to the teacher. She had purple hair, an old black t-shirt, ripped jean shorts, and white shoes that actually looked brown due to the amount of dirt on them. She had a scowl on her face, and a few cuts near her eye.
Ansat caught her eye, and she smirked. Ansat smirked back as he took his seat.
The teacher started class.
”Okay, class, before we learn about the proper way to cast a Chill Out, we have a new student.” He said. “This is Fei Rainblast, from some island that also has wizards. Fei, why don’t you tell the class about yourself?”
Fei growled. “Alright, punks, my name is Fei. My interests include soccer, and running. Can I sit down now?”
The teacher nodded, and Fei walked to an empty seat next to Ansat. He tried to strike up a conversation, but she simply glared at him, so he shut up and tried his hardest to pay attention to the lesson.
Key word being tried.
After class, as Ansat and Fei were about to leave, the teacher stopped them.
”Hey, Ansat. Joe wants you to show Fei around the Academy, seeing as she’s new.”
“Why?”
”Well, he thinks that you two would get along well.”
“Whatever floats your boat, dude.”
And so, Ansat left with Fei, sentenced to his punishment for whatever he did that day.
”And this is the newly built cafeteria. We had to renovate the old one from when Pippet attacked again.” Said Ansat.
Fei groaned.
”And this is where I used to spend most of my afternoons.” Said the speedster, pointing to the detention room. “Joe’s a hippie, so he decided to hire hall monitors instead of chasing me himself. Running from Gale was more fun, he could match my speed.”
”Speed?” Asked Fei.
”Yeah. They call me the fastest thing alive.”
”Prove it.”
Ansat proceeded to run through the entire Academy, clearing every inch except for the women’s bathrooms, and ran back to Fei in the span of 30 seconds. She wasn’t impressed.
”Listen, you’re lame. I’m out.” She said.
As Fei walked away, Ansat was relieved, but kind of hurt at the same time.
After school, Ansat was on a graffiti run again. He was making good time, tagging buildings, spraying murals, dodging cops, all that stuff. He was busy spraying a picture of a skateboard on a dumpster, when someone ran into him.
It was Fei.
She fell onto the ground, and was annoyed.
”You again?!” She asked.
”The one and only.” Replied the speedster.
They heard the noises of a horse clip clopping on the road.
”Listen, the cops are after me. Help me escape.” She said.
Ansat helped her up.
”Alright, fine, I’ll help you escape, but only because I’m gonna get arrested too if I stick around.” He said. He helped Fei onto his back as he took off running. It was late at night, so he couldn’t hide out at Tony’s, and there was nowhere else for him to go but his treehouse. And so, Ansat charged to Pallet Pass at breakneck speed, before leaping up into his treehouse, and letting Fei off of his back.
”Whoa, you really are fast.” Said Fei.
”Keep it down. Ben’s asleep, and he’ll probably do something if he wakes up.” Replied Ansat. He leapt onto the couch, and turned on PTV.
”Damn, you’ve got cable in a treehouse?”
”Ben’s been stealing every utility we have from some rich guy. The tech is too advanced for him to figure out, and plus, he’s so rich that he doesn’t notice.”
Suddenly, a heavy metal music video came on.
”YES!” Said Ansat. “Metallic Itch kicks @$$!”
”You’re a Metallic Itch fan, too?” Asked Fei.
”Hell yeah.”
Ansat then started playing air guitar. Fei leapt onto the couch, and watched the video with him. The music was loud and fast.
Ben conveniently slept through that.
Later, at 7:00 AM, Ansat and Fei woke up on the couch, with a bunch of sodas cans on or around it.
”What were we doing all night?” Asked Fei.
”No clue, dude.” Replied Ansat.
”Well, I gotta go. Your friend might wake up. Later, loser.” And with that, Fei leapt out of the treehouse. Ansat felt weirdly happy.
Then, Ben woke up.
”Ansat? You never struck me as a morning dude.” He said.
”I had night terrors and couldn’t go back to sleep.” Lied the speedster.
Ben was suspicious.
At the Academy, Ansat and Fei were walking through the hall together, chatting about stuff. Ben felt like a major third wheel. The entire day, they were chatting, joking about stuff, basically all of the stuff that Ansat and Ben did together. The difference was that Ansat was a little more reserved. He was usually in a more jokey mood. Now, he felt like there were butterflies in his stomach.
After school, Ansat did his usual graffiti thing, but this time, he did it more frequently, and went way more elaborate, because Fei was there with him. He was busy painting even more intricate murals than he usually does, when Fei stopped him.
”Listen, dude. I appreciate the work of art, but I have something else in mind.” She said, putting her hand on his shoulder.
She walked out of the alleyway and Ansat followed, until they both got to a house in the middle of Lamplight. Fei walked into the house, as her mom was busy watching TV, totally distracted.
“Hi, how was your day?” She asked.
”I killed 20 people and I need to hide out from the police.” Snarked Fei.
”Good.”
Ansat was confused as he and Fei walked up the stairs to Fei’s room.
”Dude, your mom isn’t very bright.” Said Ansat.
”She never pays attention to anything.” Said Fei, as she grabbed a notebook. She flipped through the pages until she got to a picture of what looked like a blueprint. “Now here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna go into the convenience store. I’m gonna pretend to have a heart attack, while you grab some snacks and run out before anyone notices.”
”Cool.” Replied Ansat, as he sat in a desk chair. He really didn’t want to do it, but he thought that Fei was pretty cool, so he went along with it. Normally, he wouldn’t do this, but he has been feeling weird lately ever since he met Fei, so…
And so, they left the house. They went to a nearby convenience store, called “Mega 11”. They entered the store, when Fei had the fake heart attack, almost nobody checked on her, the d*cks. That was when she got up and punched some poor dude in the face, causing a huge ruckus. While everyone was distracted, Ansat put a bunch of snacks into his shirt, and walked out of the store, casually.
”What a score!” Said Fei.
”Yeah…”
As they bid each other goodbye, Ansat felt a little unsure. Now, yes, Ansat was prone to breaking the law, but most of the time, he had limited himself to graffiti and stealing from jerks.
However, he quickly ignored this epiphany because of his weird feelings.
The next day, after school, Ansat met back up at Fei’s house. She had already had another plan.
”Alright, now here’s what we’re gonna do.” She said. “We’re gonna go to that place where they sell carriages. You’re gonna distract the guard so that I can get in. Then, after I get in, I’ll steal one so that I can leave.”
”You sure about this?” Asked Ansat. “I mean, I do move faster than those bulky things.”
”Alright, then we could steal some laser guns. You know a guy?”
Ansat thought about it for a while.
”Yeah, I do.”
The two would go to a familiar tower, as Ansat rang the doorbell. Hammer walked outside, holding a laser gun.
”Hello-“ He noticed Ansat. “Hey, I’m supposed to shoot you!”
”Then do it.” Replied Ansat.
”I think I will.” He shot a green laser at Ansat, only for it to faze right through him.
“Why didn’t that hit?” He asked.
”Because I’m right behind you!” Said Ansat, who had suddenly appeared behind Hammer. He was spooked, before Fei hit him in the head with a baseball bat. He fell over, clutching his head in pain.
”Whoa!” Said Ansat. “Fei, what’re ya doing?!”
”I kicked his @$$.”
”He didn’t do anything this time, that’s why I spooked him!”
Fei got mad. “Damn it, I thought you were on my side!” She said.
”I am, I just don’t wanna-“
Hammer interrupted. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on, but I think I have a concussion, so take my laser gun and leave me alone.” He said, as he gave Fei his laser gun. She walked away, satisfied. When she saw that Ansat wasn’t following her, she looked back at him.
”Are you coming with me or not?” She asked. He reluctantly followed her.
And so, as the days went by, Ansat hung out with Fei. He tried to include Ben and Ashley, but Fei was too big of a jerk for them. One day, the two delinquents were walking through the hallway, before stopping by the bathroom.
”Alright, dork, I have to use the bathroom. Don’t move until I get out.” She said. While in the bathroom, Fei grabbed a few firecrackers, when she was stopped by someone coming out of a stall.
”Hey, Rainblast!” She said. “Trying to blow up the bathroom again, you little dweeb?”
”Shut up, Madison.” Replied Fei.
”No, you shut up!” Said the girl, as she shoved Fei against a wall. “You might think that your little attitude stunts will get you attention, but face it, you’ll never have any friends here. Now go kill yourself, you’re of absolutely no worth!”
Now you might think that that’s all, but Madison’s been bullying Fei ever since she got there, so Fei was more than a little pissed off. She pushed back against the girl, before Madison punched her square in the eye. A full blown fight broke out, with Fei emerging as the loser.
While all this was happening, Ansat was standing outside the women’s bathrooms, completely oblivious to what was going on, until Fei walked outside of the bathroom with several bruises.
”What happened to you?” Asked the speedster.
”Nothing. Come on, we’re leaving.” Hissed the delinquent.
As the days went on, Ansat was more and more unsure about his friendship with Fei. Sure, Ansat was also a delinquent, but his delinquency was more on the small scale. There was also the fact that Fei’s stunts started getting more grandiose. No more robbing gas stations by starting distraction fights, instead, it elevated to stealing carriages, and more violent behavior.
This all came to a head one day at the Lamplight Town skate park. Now, Ansat doesn’t have a skateboard, but he does have those grindrail shoes, and since he his rolling and stuff is sort of like Classic Sonic, the skaters happily accept him as one of their own.
So anyways, Ansat was busy ditching school with some other dudes there. They were busy skating (or in Ansat’s case, rolling), pulling off tricks, chatting, stuff like that, when Fei arrived, baseball bat in hand.
”What’s up, loser?” She asked. Ansat was surprised. “What are you doing here?” He asked.
”I got suspended for bashing in some kid’s head with a lunch tray.”
”WHAT?!”
”Yeah. He cut me in line, so I just let him have it.”
”Dude, what the f*ck?! You can’t just assault people because they cut you in line!”
”Who the f*ck made you the moral authority?!”
By then, some of the other skaters came by.
”Hey, is everything alright?” One of them asked. Fei smacked him with a baseball bat. Ansat got pissed off.
”Damn it, stop beating people up, you purple haired punk @$$ b*tch!” He yelled.
”F*CK YOU!”
Fei tried to hit Ansat with the bat, but was pulled away by some of the other skaters. She then started beating them up instead. Ansat stopped her, but she still managed to leave a few bruises on the other skaters.
”What the hell is the matter with you? I thought you were on my side!” Asked Fei.
”I was, until you started acting worse than I do!” Replied the speedster.
”I should’ve known that you were nothing but a little poser!” Screamed Fei, as she walked away angrily. Ansat folded his arms and tapped his toe.
”Eesh, maybe I should make the hippie patrol deal with her instead of me.” He snarked, looking at the fourth wall.
Little did he know, Fei was about to commit something most heinous.
The next day, Ansat, Ben, and Ashley were walking home from school.
”You know, you did the right thing, calling her out like that.” Said Ben.
“Yeah, I know, I know, but I still sort of wish we could still be friends.” Said Ansat.
”It’s for the best. She was violent, rude, a total delinquent…” said Ashley.
”Vulgar, argumentative, and a way, way worse person than you.”
Ansat sighed. “I just hope she changes.”
They walked to the skate park, where they saw a bunch of green lasers being fired at the skaters.
”What the hell?” Asked Ashley.
”Wait, green lasers?” Asked Ansat. He had a flashback to when Fei stole Hammer’s laser blaster. “Oh no…”
Ansat ran to the park, with Ben grabbing Ashley’s hand and flying after him.
And sure enough , Fei was blasting all of the skaters there. Even ones that weren’t there yesterday.
”WHERE IS HE?!” She yelled.
”Right behind ya, dude.” Said Ansat.
Fei turned around, to find a royally pissed off Ansat.
”Christ, Fei, this has gotten outta hand!”
”Because of you! If you didn’t show up here yesterday, we never woulda fought, and these @$$holes wouldn’t have snitched on me!”
”You HIT us with a baseball bat! Joey’s in the hospital!” Said a skater.
”SHUT UP! YOU GOT ME GROUNDED, AND NOW MY MOM’S GONNA SEND ME TO MILITARY SCHOOL!”
Ansat snarled. Fei had gone too far this time, and he was done with her sh*t. He swept Fei, leaving her lying on the ground. She got back up, and tried to shoot at him. He kept dodging, before trying to kick at her. She tried punching him, but it seems that Ansat is actually capable of using his superspeed for the first time in 2 chapters, since he dodged all of them. He then ran around her, leaving around 4 afterimages, standing in running poses. Fei whacked all of them, only to find that none of them were the real Ansat.
”WHERE ARE YOU?!” She yelled.
”Up top!” Replied the speedster, who was being carried in the air by Ben, who then proceeded to drop him, as Ansat curled up into a ball, storm energy surrounding him, as he put Fei into a crater.
He stood over top of her, sticking a V- sign downwards. Now, you might think that it means peace, but really, it’s V for victory.
”Yo, Johnny. Call the cops!” Said Ansat. One of the skaters, who was named Johnny, got his phone, and called the cops, while Ashley recorded.
”We’re live at the sight of ruthless delinquent Fei Rainblast, who was defeated by Ansat after going on a psychotic rampage at the Lamplight Skatepark.” She said. she held a mic up to Fei. “Tell me, Fei. What drove someone like you to commit a multiple crimes?”
Fei snarled, so Ashley backed off.
”This is Ashley Blizzardhand, signing off.”
And so, Fei’s mom and the police came to the skatepark.
”Fei Rainblast, you are under arrest for multiple counts of grand theft equine, shoplifting, assault, battery, larceny, and the most recent charge, attempted battery.” Said a cop. “Ansat, we would arrest you too, since you actually did most of this with her, but considering that you actually stopped her, I’m inclined to let this go, but be warned that next time we catch you for something, you will be arrested.”
”Yeah, sure, dude.” Replied Ansat, nonchalantly.
Fei’s mom was pissed off.
”Why would you do such a thing?! I thought you were talking to your new friend, but this entire time you’ve been committing crimes under my nose?!” She screamed.
”YOU NEVER F*CKING LISTEN TO ME! I’VE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT ALL MY PROBLEMS, ABOUT HOW I GET BULLIED, ABOUT HOW THE KIDS CALL ME A [censored], BUT YOU’RE TOO BUSY SITTING ON YOUR @$$ WATCHING TV! YOU NEVER LISTEN, YOU NEVER GIVE ME ADVICE, AND YOU DON’T LOVE ME!!” Yelled Fei. Her mom was taken aback. She then started crying. It seems as if she realized that her daughter had a point. Seeing all of this happening, Fei had a realization.
Fei was handcuffed, but before she could be put in the back of the carriage, she managed to get close enough to Ansat.
“So, I guess I’m gonna have to go to jail for a while.” She said, suddenly calm, as if she had a change of heart.
”Gee, I hadn’t noticed.” Snarked Ansat.
”Look, Ansat, you’re kind of cool. Even if I was a massive jerk back there, you still stuck around until it got too far.”
”Ah, get to the poi-“
And with that, Fei kissed Ansat on the cheek.
Ben was grossed out, and Ashley was half happy, and half weirded out.
”Thanks for being my friend.” Said the delinquent. “Catch ya later, loser.”
Ansat was shocked. He then started laughing as if he was Butt-head. Maybe due to the awkwardness of being kissed by someone who just tried to murder a bunch of people. Maybe that feeling of butterflies in his gut were back. Maybe he just felt like laughing like an idiot. Whatever the case, Ansat was laughing, as this maniac was being dragged to a police carriage.
As everybody left, the only people left were Ansat, Ben, and Ashley.
”You know, guys, Fei might’ve been rude, and violent, and mentally unstable, but her life might suck worse than mine and Ben’s.” Said Ansat. “Maybe, she wasn’t that bad.”
Silence.
”WHAT THE F*CK?!” Yelled Ben.
”ANSAT, YOU IDIOT!” Yelled Ashley.
”SHE LITERALLY TRIED TO BEAT UP EVERYONE IN THE SKATE PARK!”
”SHE MADE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE DUE TO HER RAPIDLY INCREASING CRIMES AND YOU SAY SHE’S NOT THAT BAD?!”
”GOD, YOU SUCK!”
”F*CK YOU, YOU HALF BRAINED HEDGEHOG!”
And so, they kept yelling at him, until they finally decided to go home.
A week later, Ansat was watching a Metallic Itch video on PTV, when Ben gave him a letter.
”It’s for you.” He said.
Ansat tore open the letter, and read it.
Hey, Ansat.
It’s my first day in Juvie. Whoopie.
So, like, I kind of wanted to start over.
I feel pretty bad about how I treated you. Everyone else, too, but you especially. You’re actually a pretty cool guy.
I know that I probably don’t deserve a second chance, but I really need to talk to someone.
I’m also getting mental help, so, maybe next time, the skate park won’t have a crater near the entrance.
Maybe when I get out, we can meet up, and do some graffiti, or something.
-Fei
Ansat kind of felt something when he read that. Maybe something will change. Maybe, when she comes back, she’ll be nicer.
”Hey, Ben, can you build a-“
“Already on it.” Said the inventor, smiling as he grabbed a saw, and some pieces of wood.
And so, as Ben built a desk, and Ansat watched the music video, Fei was probably getting better. Maybe she would change.
Episode 28: Ansat and Ben’s Excellent Adventure[]
Ansat and Ben were sitting in history class, barely paying attention to the teacher’s droning on. The teacher noticed that they weren’t paying attention, and called on Ansat.
”Ansat, who was one of the main founders of Lamplight Town?” He asked.
Ansat was staring off into space, before he heard his name.
”Uh, Jay Firestring?” He asked, thinking about Metallic Itch.
”No, Ansat.”
Everyone laughed.
The teacher sighed.
”And, remember, class, we’re holding a history presentation tomorrow for the public, so be sure to study study study.”
And so, class was dismissed. Ansat and Ben were about to leave, when the teacher stopped them.
”Boys, have you learned anything all month?” He asked.
Ansat and Ben thought about it.
”The world is full of history.” Said Ben.
”Listen, boys, you guys haven’t learned anything in the first month of school. Do you know how bad this is?” Said the teacher.
”No, not really.” Said Ansat.
”Learning history is very important.”
Ansat and Ben folded their arms and stared at the teacher.
”Listen, if you two don’t get an A on that presentation, I’m gonna have to hold you back.”
”During the first month of school?” Asked Ansat.
”Alright, then I’ll give you in school suspension for a whole 2 months.”
”You can do that?”
”It’s not like Joe is checking. Now off be with you.”
And so, Ansat and Ben left the classroom, forced to study something they deem worthless.
When they got home, they tried to go on Ben’s laptop to look up some historical dudes.
“Alright, here are some dudes.” Said Ben. “We’ve got John Stormlight, Wendell Icebreath, Lionel Bloodroot, and Ken Bladefire.”
Ben printed out the list of historical figures, but when he went to look up some more guys, there was only a picture of a dinosaur.
”No internet?” Asked Ben.
”Damn it.” Said Ansat.
”That’s okay, I can just invent something to give us all the data we need.”
”How long will that take?”
”Well, considering that I need to come up with an AI, along with an internet alternative, and add that to the fact that we don’t know anything about history that isn’t related to skateboarding, metal music, robotics, inventing, or Pallet Pass, it should take a few weeks.”
Ansat folded his arms. “This thing is due tomorrow night, dude.”
Ben hung his head. “Oh, yeah…” he said. “Do we have any books?”
”Well, we got how-to books, comic books, but nothing about history.”
“Damn it, let’s just take a dinner break.” Said the inventor.
They would’ve gone to Tony’s, but when they got there…
”Closed to fulfill a really big order?” Asked Ben.
”Doesn’t Tony have employees?” Asked Ansat.
”Well, ‘really’ is underlined 4 times, and in bold.”
”Mega 11 it is.”
And so, Ansat and Ben went to the Mega 11 for dinner.
They bought some snacks, like chips, pizza-dogs, bubblegum, snack cakes, slushies, sodas, and stuff like that. They were eating some of their snacks outside of the convenience store, when thunder struck a few feet away from them. Ben jumped into Ansat’s arms, as a phone booth appeared out of thin air.
A man walked out of said phone booth. He had sunglasses and a leather jacket.
”Hello, gentlemen.” Said the man. “I am Martin.”
”Where did you come from?” Asked Ben.
”500 years in the future.” Replied Martin.
”No way…” said the duo in unison.
”I’m here to do a video report on the youth of this generation.” Said the time traveler. “However, I cannot leave this here. If I do, it could fall into the wrong hands. Will you take care of it for me?”
Ansat and Ben weren’t sure.
”Gee, I dunno, dude.” Said the former.
”Time travel technology is unprecedented.” Said the latter. “Not even I know exactly how it works.”
Suddenly, another phone booth shot down. Out came Ansat and Ben.
”What’s up, dudes?” Asked Future Ansat.
“And who are you?” Asked Ben.
”We’re you from the future!” Said Future Ben. “We’re here to tell you to go use the phone booth! You can pass the presentation that way!”
”Hey, if you guys really are from the future, what number are we thinking of?” Asked Ansat.
”69, dudes!” Said the future Ansat and Ben.
”Seems legit.” Said Ben. “Let’s go.”
Ansat and Ben stepped into the phone booth, and saw some instructions on the side wall.
“To dial to a specific year, the first 3 digits are the month, the next 3 is the day, and the last 4 are the year.” Read Ben. “There’s a phone book of historical figures in case you don’t know a specific year.”
Martin opened the phone booth. “Remember, for this specific Time Machine, the clock in Lamplight Town is always running.” He said.
”That makes no sense.” Said Ben. “Can’t we just travel back a day before?”
”Well, seeing as how your future selves came back to tell you to get in the booth, I think that if you go back a day before, there’ll be 4 of you.”
”Ah.”
”Now, farewell, boys,” said Martin, holding a high tech video camera. “I have a report to do.”
”Catch ya later, Martin!” Said Ansat and Ben in unison. And so, they picked a year, and disappeared in the time booth.
When they reappeared, they had landed in Pallet Pass, 200 years in the past.
"Dude, where are we?" asked Ansat.
"200 years in the past!" said Ben.
"No, like, what year?"
"How should I know? The year was never established."
"Whatever, let's just go."
Ansat and Ben left the time booth, and Ansat started running around, as Ben flew after him.
"Don't you think that we should go look for the history guy first?" he asked.
"Well, we haven't ran here in a few episodes, so I just wanted to break in an old habit." said Ansat, who was grabbing floating coins left and right.
Suddenly, they stopped when they got to a tree, with a wizard sitting under it he was thinking, while holding a quill and a piece of paper.
"Whoa, look at that dude!" said Ansat.
"That's not just any dude," said Ben, looking at his paper. "That's famed poet, Wendell Icebreath!"
They walked over to him.
"Why, hello, chums." said Wendell. "Might you be here to aid me in writing another poem?"
"Nah, we just need you to come with us." said Ben.
"Oh really? And why might that be?"
"So we can kill you and steal your cash." snarked Ansat.
Wendell screamed in terror, before blasting Ansat with an ice spell that struck him particularly hard.
"Dude, sarcasm wasn't invented yet." said Ben.
"Now you tell me..." muttered Ansat, who had lost all of his coins.
"Look, Wendell, we need you for something important. It's a great new opportunity to share your poems with the world, again!"
"Oh, really?" asked the poet.
"Yeah. You'll be even more famous than you are now!" said Ansat, grabbing some of his coins back.
And so, Ansat and Ben led Wendell to the time booth.
"What a peculiar contraption." said the poet.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." said Ansat. "Who's next?"
"Ken Fireblade." said Ben.
"That dude has a cool name."
Ben typed the number into the booth, as the time booth disappeared in a flash.
They reappeared 200 years earlier than the time they were already in, in Shiverchill Mountains.
There was a fierce battle raging on. Dozens of men were being slaughtered by one guy.
"Whoa, who's that?" asked Ben.
"I think that's gnarly warlord dude, Ken Fireblade!" exclaimed Ansat.
The Ken in question was taking down a bunch of warriors with his swords. He has defeated them all with great speed.
Ansat walked out of the time booth, with Ben trying to stop him.
"Ansat, this guy's been killing everyone in his path! There's no way you can take him!" he said.
"Chill out, homeboy. I'm just gonna talk to him!" replied the cocky speedster.
Ansat waved at Ken, only for him to charge at the speedster. Ansat leapt out of the way, before trying to talk to him again. Ken was not amused. He swung his sword full force down on Ansat, only for him to block with his forearms. Ansat might not have had to go to the hospital, but it still hurts. Ansat yelped in pain, before kicking Ken in the shin.
"I've been trained in 17 types of combat, do you think that you can defeat me?" said Ken.
Ansat and Ken kept fighting, while Wendell wrote about the experience.
"Ah, the sight of two men fighting wildly. Even bloodsport can be turned into a most elegant poem." said the poet, grabbing his quill.
Ben facepalmed.
Eventually, both Ansat and Ken were worn down. That was when Ken threw a battle axe at Ansat.
"Time for my Quadruple Spin!" he said. As the axe neared the speedster, Ansat leapt up, curled up into a ball, and started spinning rapidly. By the time the axe hit him, it broke apart.
Ken was pissed now, and Ansat could see that. Before Ken could charge at him, and kill him, Ansat's perception of time slowed down yet again. Ansat ran back to the time booth, and got his bag. He dug in his bag until he found a snack cake he was saving for later. He ran back to where he was standing, and unwrapped the snack cake.
Time went back to normal, and Ansat stopped Ken.
"Hold it, Ken." said the speedster. "Want a snack cake?"
Ken stopped. "What is this snack cake you speak of?"
"Just trust me, it's really good."
Ansat threw the snack cake to Ken. He caught it, and took a bite. He then proceeded to eat the whole thing, even the plastic.
"There's more of that if you come with us." said Ansat.
"Sure, sure."
And so, Ken followed Ansat back to the time booth, cramming in with Ben and Wendell.
Ben dialed the number for John Stormlight, as the booth disappeared.
The remaining men were confused.
300 years later, they landed in Shipwreck Shore. There weren't a lot of shipwrecks, despite the name. In fact, it looked like a port straight out of a Pirates of the Caribbean movie.
"Come on, dudes." said Ben.
Ansat, Ken, and Wendell left the booth.
"Why does this place looks different?" asked Ansat. "Where's the beach, boardwalk and babes?"
"Uhh, I dunno." said Ben.
"That's because this is Port Lamplight." said a random man. "I dunno what a boardwalk or a babe is, but you won't find any of 'em here."
The group of dudes walked around the place, Wendell writing poetry about the place he's in, and Ken scaring the other residents.
"Damn it, where's John?" asked Ansat.
They heard jeering, as a horse drawn cart went by, with a pirate inside.
"I'm guessing that's him."
"Who?" asked Wendell.
"Famed pirate, John Stormlight!" said Ben.
Ansat, Ben, Wendell, and John followed the cart, until it got to a prison building of some sort. They trailed the cart inside.
They saw as the cart was open, and John was dumped into a prison cell.
"Your execution is near!" said a guard. "Now sit there and think about what you did."
As the cart rolled away, Ansat looked at the cell.
"What's up, dude?" asked the speedster.
"Why, it's a young pup." said John. "Why are you here?"
"To break you outta jail." said Ben. "Why are you here anyways?"
"Well, it started 10 years ago. I was kidnapped by pirates as a little boy, but they-"
"Get to the point." said Ansat.
"I was caught stealing treasure from a bank."
Ansat sighed.
"How could we possibly get him out- oh wait, I know." he said sarcastically. "Quadruple Spin!"
Ansat crouched, and spun around in ball form for a few seconds, before ramming into the bars, cutting them open.
"How did you do that?" Asked Ben.
"Simple. I used my Extreme Speed attack to form a razor sharp buzzsaw effect."
"That makes absolutely no sense."
"Yeah, and?"
John walked out of his cell, and followed the group as they left the building.
"You know, that was a little too easy." said Wendell.
"DAMMIT, WENDELL!" yelled everyone else. Then, a bunch of guards swarmed them.
"You lot are under arrest for breaking out a prisoner." said one of them.
"Let's go down fighting!" said John, pulling out a cutlass. Everyone else pulled out weapons, except for Wendell, who just got his pen.
The guards charged at them. Ken pulled out a claw weapon, and slashed at 5 of the guards, taking them down. Ansat ran at a guard, and spun into him. John was doing a classic swordfight scenario with a guard. Ben flew up high, before crashing down on several guards with his Extreme Speed attack.
After a while, the guards were all defeated. They left as quick as possible, and got back to the time booth.
"So, what am I doing?" asked John.
"We'll explain later, just come with us." said Ben. And so, everyone crammed into the time booth, as they went 200 years later, to Lamplight Town.
"Alright, we just need to find Lionel Bloodroot." said Ben.
"Lionel? He was back in my time period." said John.
Ansat groaned. "We can't go back now, the guards are gonna be on our @$$es."
"Why would they be on our donkeys?" asked Ken.
"Never mind."
"Well, we need another historical figure." said Ben. "But who can we get?"
The group walked through Lamplight, but it looked different.
"Hey, no modernization?" said Ansat.
"We're... I forgot how many years we went back." said Ben.
They saw some construction of log cabins going on. They walked by all the people wearing drastically different clothing.
"I never noticed until now, but these dudes look weird." said Ben.
"Yeah. I think they think the same." said Ansat. "The girls keep giggling whenever they look at me."
Ansat pointed to some girls around his age, who were looking at him, and hiding their smiling mouths behind their hands.
Eventually, they reached a construction site, where a woman was helping some children out.
"Hey, that chick looks familiar." said Ansat.
"Yeah, she kind of looks like..."
Ansat and Ben had a realization.
"MISSY LIGHTSTORM!" they said in unison.
Missy was busy saving some kids who were busy messing around with the site. She climbed up a wall of bricks in order to save some kids who had climbed up it somehow. She had managed to save all but one, who had fallen off.
Ben, doing some quick thinking, had flown to where the kid was falling, and caught him, before landing, and setting him on the ground.
"Why, thanks for your help." said Missy. "I don't believe I got your names."
"Uhh, well, who we are isn't important. All that matters is that you come with us." said Ben.
"Okay, I think I will."
"Four historical figures!" said Ben.
"Excellent!" Said the duo in unison. They did an air guitar motion, while a guitar riff played in the background.
"However did you do that?"
"No clue, dude, but we gotta hurry."
They all ran to the time booth, as Ben dialed the number for the present.
They warped back to the Mega 11.
"What a peculiar house." said Missy.
"Hey, Ben, how much time do we have?" Asked Ansat.
"Wow, 2 hours." said Ben, checking his phone.
"Well, we got time to kill, let's show these dudes around town."
"Alright. First up, the Mega 11!"
Two hours later, the presentation was at the Academy's auditorium, where Ashley was giving a speech.
"And in conclusion, I think that if Queen Muriel visited the modern world of Prodigia, she would be satisfied that her views on women's rights were embodied by the general public." she said. The crowd clapped as Ashley took her computer, off a podium, and left the stage.
Behind the curtain, she met up with Connor, who was still wearing his stupid welding mask.
"Hey, do you know where the guys are?" she asked.
"No clue. They probably decided to take after me and bust some guys heads open." replied the maniac.
"Well, whatever they're doing, they better hurry up, they're after me."
That's when there was a flash.
In front of the curtain, Joe walked up in front of the podium. "Well, everyone did great, but it looks like we're gonna be one report sho-"
The curtain rose, as a phone booth, and 6 people standing in front of it. Joe got off of the stage as soon as he heard rock music.
"Ladies and gentlemen!" said a voice. "Wizards and... other wizards! Put your hands together for the most bodacious duo in Lamplight Town, Ansat and Ben!"
A spotlight shined down on Ansat and Ben.
"Thanks, Connor." said Ansat, looking at stage left.
"We've got an awesome show tonight!" said Ben.
"First things first, we've got a pretty cool dude, for a poet!"
"He wrote epic poems, such as, 'The Enigma', and, 'Machinations'."
"Put your hands together for... WENDELL ICEBREATH!"
Wendel stepped into the spotlight, as the crowd clapped.
"I have a poem to share." said the poet. "Lamplight, oh Lamplight. What a wonderful town..."
As he continued his poem, the crowd felt a sense of authenticity coming from who they thought was an actor. He must've really studied.
When he finished, Wendell went back into the shadows.
"Alright, next up, we got a really cool dude!" said Ansat.
"He lived in Shiverchill Mountains, in the freezing cold, training alongside yetis and wizards alike in 12 different types of combat, please welcome..."
"KEN BLADEFIRE!"
Ken stepped into the spotlight, holding a double ended polearm.
"Now, Ken's gonna do some tricks." said Ben.
And then, Ken spun his polearm around in highly flashy manners, amazing the crowd.
"And now, for my final trick!" said Ken.
Ken unwrapped a snack cake, before tossing it up into the air, and catching it in his mouth. The crowd clapped, as he stepped back into the shadows.
"Our next guess is a really stand up guy!" said Ben. "If stand-up guys stole treasure on the daily."
"Please welcome, John Stormlight!" said Ansat.
John walked into the spotlight, holding a massive treasure chest.
John put the chest on the ground, and sat on it.
"Now, lemme tell you all a story." he said.
And so, John began telling a story about the one time he stole some treasure and hid it under one part of the port.
"There I was, dashing away from the guards at Port Lamplight. I made it to my ship, but I couldn't climb up the net. So, I put the treasure down, blasted the guards with some Storm magic, paralyzed them, before running far away, and burying the treasure somewhere to the west of the ship. I think it was where you modern folk call a 'boardwalk'."
"Hey, that's funny, we found some treasure under a boardwalk a few episodes ago." said Ansat.
John glared at Ansat, who shrugged. John then reached inside of the chest, before throwing gold at the crowd. Some of the crowd caught it, others didn't, because it hit their head.
The crowd clapped, as John walked off the stage, carrying his chest.
"Our final guest is someone you might recognize." said Ansat.
"We don't have a cool introduction, it'd just give away the surprise." said Ben.
"Here she is, Missy Lightstorm!" they said in unison.
The crowd roared as Missy walked into the spotlight.
"Hello, people of Prodigia." she said. "I must say that I am very pleased to see what progress you have made with the little civilization that me and a couple hundred people founded. You all have made great progress towards making Lamplight the city of the future." she said.
"Any other words, Missy?" asked Ansat.
"Why, yes." she said. "Party on, dudes!"
The crowd roared, as all of the historical figures, plus Ansat and Ben took a bow. The curtains then dropped, as the crowd was buzzing with amazement.
The kids backstage were also impressed. Ariel ran to meet Missy, Connor was trying out Ken's weapons, and some other kids were doing stuff like that.
Ashley walked up to the two dudes, and high fived them.
"That was awesome!" she said. "How'd you manage to afford those actors?"
"Actors?" asked Ben.
"Come on, we got something to show you." said Ansat, as he led Ashley and the other historical figures to the time booth. They all crammed in, before disappearing on a flash of light.
The next day, Ansat and Ben were chilling in the tree house, watching TV.
"You know, maybe we should do that next time." said Ansat.
"Nah, that took a little bit of effort. I'm fine with just using the internet next time." said Ben.
That was when Martin climbed into their tree house.
"How's it hanging, Marty?" asked the speedster.
"Well, I wanted to thank you for looking after my time machine. Your friend, Ashley tells me that you're both Metallic Itch fans.
"Well, more Ansat than me, but pretty much, yeah." said Ben.
"Well, I got you..."
Martin pulled out two T-shirts, in their sizes.
"T-shirts!"
"No way! They haven't sold the original T-shirts in years!" said Ansat.
"Yep. I figured it was the least I could do."
And so, they all high fived, as Ansat and Ben's excellent adventure came to an end.
Episode 29: The Dance of Doom[]
One Friday afternoon, Ansat was sleeping on the couch, with the TV on, while Ben was rummaging around, looking for a suit. He lifted up the couch above his head, as Ansat rolled off, and hit his head.
"Dammit, Ben!" said Ansat, clutching the back of his head. "Why the hell did you lift the couch? We don't have classes for 2 days."
"I'm looking for a suit. Remember that time we went to Flora's wedding?"
"That was the bachelor party. The groom broke it off after stealing a bunch of money from her bank account."
"My point still stands, I know I have a suit somewhere."
"Wait, why do you need a suit?"
"For the dance."
Ansat sighed, before hopping back onto the couch.
"What, you're not going?" asked the inventor.
"No way, dude. The only dancing that's gonna be happening is my taste buds after I eat some pizza-dogs. I'm gonna chill here Friday night and watch some movies, maybe hit Pallet Pass or the skate park, or just anything other than going to the dance."
"Yeah, well you need to get outta the treehouse more."
"Did you not hear my most excellent plans?"
"Well, you can't just not do something because you think it's lame."
"Ah, forget it, I'm not going."
Ben dragged Ansat by the legs, and flew out the window. When he landed, they went to a barber.
"Now, you're gonna get your hair cut, you have ber head, and you don't even own a bed." said Ben, as he walked off to go find a suit store.
Ben came back from the store, with 2 suits incased in plastic, and waited for Ansat to come out of the barber.
When he did, he got a shock. Ansat had gotten a (relatively short standing) mohawk.
"Hey, Ben! Check out this cool trick!" said the speedster. He did a Quadruple Spin, and burrowed into the dirt, his mohawk acting like a razor sharp blade. "No storm shield!"
"Ansat, what the hell? I didn't send you in there just so you could get a mohawk!" said Ben.
"Hey, you never said I couldn't."
"Well, fair point, but still!"
"Fine..."
Ansat patted his hair down until it went relatively back to normal. It at least looked neater than before.
"Alright, I guess that works." said Ben. He handed Ansat the suit.
"What's this for?" asked Ansat.
"It's a suit. I couldn't find ours, so I bought new ones."
"This looks lame."
"Yeah, well we can't just wear our Metallic Itch T-shirts to the dance, can we?"
"It looks vintage enough to be fancy."
"Ansat, you might not want to go, but I do. Don't you think you can set aside your pride for your best pal?"
Ansat looked and Ben, and sighed.
"Alright dude, for you, I'll go to the stupid dance."
Ben cheered, and hugged Ansat. "Thanks bro!"
Ansat hugged him back.
Later that night, Ben and Ansat were in their suits, and they looked pretty cool.
"Alright, we just got one thing left to do." said Ben.
"And what's that?" asked Ansat.
"Pick up my date! She's already there, so we can just go right now."
And so, Ansat and Ben went to the dance. As they were running through Lamplight, Ansat kept rail grinding on every surface imaginable.
"You're wearing your skate shoes?" asked Ben.
"My shoes are a bright red, how did you not notice?" replied Ansat.
"Fair point."
Eventually, they reached the Academy by running off of a ramp, and Ben carrying Ansat the rest of the way.
They entered the Academy, when Ben saw his date...
It was Ramona.
"Dude, your date's Nerdzilla?" asked Ansat.
"Shut up, douchebag. We both wanted extra credit." replied Ben.
"How does bringing a date mean extra credit?"
Before Ben could think of an answer, Ramona walked over to him.
"Hey, what's up?" she asked the other inventor.
"Nothing much. Ready for that extra credit?"
"Yeah."
And so, they walked into a large gym room of sorts.
"Where do we keep getting these weird rooms?" asked Ansat.
"No clue." said Ben. "I don't even think we had a PE class before Joe came here."
The gym had a disco ball, as well as a dance floor. There were tons of students just chatting, and stuff. Ansat went to go see the snack table, when he saw a girl with a cool looking yellow dress. She even had cool earrings, too. She turned around, and greeted Ansat.
"Ashley?!" he asked.
"Yep, that's me." replied the faux reporter.
"Dude, you look totally cool."
"Why thank you."
"I just can't believe you put on makeup, don't you usually just wear a little lipstick?"
"Yep, Jenna let me borrow some of hers."
Then, someone tapped him on the shoulder. He had on a welding mask.
"Oh, hey, Conner." said Ansat.
"What's up, Ansat?"
"Did you seriously wear your welding mask to a dance?"
"You wore your sneakers to the dance."
"Well yeah, but usually, people aren't looking at my feet while I'm at one."
Meanwhile, Ramona was talking to her friends.
"So, you've taken a liking to graffiti boy's sidekick?" asked Ariel.
"No, It's an extra credit thing." replied Ramona.
"How does bringing a date count for extra credit?" asked Tess.
In one corner was Sasha, who was eyeing the disco ball.
"If the laser refracts off of that thing, then there's a huge chance that it'll kill everyone here!" She said. Hammer and Spike were right next to her.
"Can we get something to eat afterwards?" asked Hammer.
"We have snacks here, dimbo." said Spike.
The party was going full swing, and everyone was dancing. Ansat was playing an air guitar, while thrashing his head. Ben and Ramona were doing the robot. Ashley was doing the worm, Connor was spinning his weapons like batons, so on.
Sasha decided not to strike at that time as the students would be too alert to be attacked.
After an hour, the music turned slow. Ansat had watched enough TV to know what this meant.
It was time for the slow dance.
Ansat walked off of the dance floor, before running into Ashley.
"Hey, Ansat. Wanna dance?" she asked.
Ansat shook his head. "I'm pretty sure this is a ploy to make it look like we have romantic feelings or some crap." he said.
"Nah, it'll just be one dance."
Ansat shrugged, so Ashley led him into the floor, where all the other couples were dancing. Ansat had absolutely no clue what he was doing, so Ashley led him.
Ben and Ramona were dancing, too.
"Hey, do you think the chaperones are watching?" asked Ramona "I'm sick of everyone thinking that we actually like each other."
"Y-yeah..." said Ben. "Wait, where are the chaperones?"
"I got rid of them!" said Sasha. "It's amazing what a few tickets to the new Mantis-verse movie can do."
Ben let go of Ramona, and grabbed a laser gun. Ramona pulled one out, too.
Sasha smirked. She looked at the disco ball, and fired her eye laser at it. The laser refracted off of the disco ball, and fired everywhere. The wizards started running, and panicking, until...
"Hey, wait, we can do magic!" said a student.
The whole room responded with "Oh yeah" and "That's right."
Sasha fired again, the lasers going around the as all the wizards charged at the three bad guys, the music in the background being something similar to this.
Sasha flew upwards, as Hammer and Spike ran to either side. Everyone started firing magic spells at Sasha first, since Hammer and Spike were about as competent as Ansat and Ben when it came to history.
Sasha started firing lasers back at the wizards, knocking a few of them out. Hammer and Spike tried sneaking up on the wizards, when Connor came in, and started beating them up with his shuffleboarding stick. Hammer managed to get away because the vigilante was too enthralled in beating up Spike, but that was when he got a face full of pizza.
"Oh, gimme a break!" said Ansat, who was at the snack table. He kept hucking pizzas at the fat thug as if they were frisbees. Hammer tried to charge at him, but Tess snuck up behind him, and dumped a cup of punch on his head.
Spike had managed to escape from the wrath of Conner and his old people sports stick, but ran into Ashley.
"You? You're harmless." said the thin thug. Ashley shrugged, and got out a new video camera from behind her back. She bashed it against Spike's head, knocking him down.
Back to Sasha, Ben and Ramona were blasting her, but Sasha was blasting back. However, there was magic on the inventors' side, and so Sasha was weakened. In a last ditch effort to win, Sasha blasted her laser eyes at the disco ball, rapid fire, spreading multiple laser blasts across the room, blasting holes in the walls, other wizards, the snack table, stuff like that.
That was when Ben got pissed.
"MY EXTRA CREDIT!" he yelled. He flew up to Sasha's level, grabbed her shirt, flew upwards, before pile driving her into the floor from the ceiling. Sasha had gotten a mondo headache from that, and so she decided to just can the whole killing idea, and left. Hammer and Spike followed suit.
As the villains left, everyone looked at the destruction of the gym.
"Oh no, the big dance room!" said one wizard.
Everyone was disappointed. Nobody got extra credit for bringing a date, nobody got to eat snacks, and the fun time only lasted an hour. Everyone left, totally bummed out.
At the tree house, Ansat and Ben were watching the Teen Movie Channel.
"Eesh, this movie sucks." said Ansat. "Why's this no-personality chick staying with her abusive boyfriend?"
Ben was a little too bummed out to make commentary. Ansat felt bad for him, and changed the channel to the Inventor's Wisdom channel. Ben was still bummed out, and Ansat sighed. That was when he got a text from Ashley.
"Aunt Mel and Jenna's parents aren't home, come to my place." read the text. "Bring Ben and your classiest outfits."
Ansat and Ben walked to Ashley's apartment building, wearing their Metallic Itch T-shirts, and when they got to the penthouse, they were both surprised to see a massive rager going on inside. It was even wilder than any school dance.
Ashley and Jenna greeted the two at the elevator.
"Gentlemen, welcome to the after-party!" said the faux reporter.
"We have a bunch of sodas and root beers in the fridge, a bunch of Tony's in the kitchen, and there are basically no rules." said Jenna.
Ben was impressed.
"I guess this means I could hypothetically build a death ray?" he asked.
"Go nuts."
"Dude, I'm gonna grind down the handrails!" said Ansat.
And so, everyone spent the rest of the night partying on and being excellent to each other.
I'll bet that's gonna be a pain to clean up in the morning.
Episode 30: A Royal Pain: Part 1[]
Ansat and Ben were watching PTV, when the news came on.
"This just in, the royal family of Beyun Island is visiting Prodigia!" said the excited newscaster. "They'll be visiting Lamplight Town at 12 PM, today!"
Ansat and Ben looked at each other, confused.
"Why's that such a big deal?" Asked Ben.
"No clue, dude." replied Ansat.
Suddenly, Ashley called Ansat.
"Did you hear the news?" she asked.
"I mean, if you call that news, then I guess." replied the speedster.
"Do you not realize why the royal family of Beyun visiting is a big deal?"
"No."
"Well, for your information, Beyun's royal family is one of the most influential families on the planet."
"They're just a family who rule another island, what's the big deal?" asked Ben.
"Well I heard that they give out money every time they visit an island..."
Ansat hung up, and he and Ben left the treehouse.
Meanwhile, Omelet was in a bed, still knocked out. Sasha and Spike were looking at him.
"Uh, what do we do?" asked Spike.
"Kick his @$$?" asked Sasha.
"He's already knocked out, I don't think it'll do much."
Hammer came into the room, holding an air horn.
"I've got a plan!" he said.
He blasted the air horn in Omelet's ear. He jolted awake, screaming in fear. He then turned to Hammer, pissed off.
"You moronic manchild!" he yelled. "Why would you do that?!"
"It was to wake you up, boss."
"No excuses! I'm going to kick your @$$!"
"But that's illegal, I'm only 17-"
"SHUT UP!"
Omelet jumped out of bed, and started chasing after Hammer, Sasha and Spike following to see what would happen next. Omelet chased Hammer to his command room, when he spotted the giant monitor.
"That's right," said a newscaster. "1 hour left until the royal family of Beyun visits!"
That got Omelet's attention. He stopped chasing the thug, and sat in his command chair. He got an evil idea.
"Say, aren't the royal family of Beyun some of the most influential leaders on the planet?" he asked.
"They are?" asked Spike.
"Yeah. My point is, I could use that to my advantage!"
Then, the door opened.
"Okay, Hammer and Spike, I need you to make a deliver- Omelet?!"
"Why hello, Julia." said Omelet, folding his arms. "Getting on well without me?"
"Uhm, well..."
"Save it. I have a new plan..."
1 hour later, in Lamplight Town, the royal family was in town square, standing in between the wheels. There was the king, the queen, and the princess of Beyun.
Some dude blew his trumpet. "Ladies and gentlemen, King Ronald, Queen Amanda, and Princess Lily!' he said.
Everyone cheered and clapped. Ansat and Ben did not. Suddenly, a bunch of reporters (and Ashley) rushed the royal family, and started asking them questions.
"When are they gonna give us the money?" asked Ben.
"I don't even know if this is worth it. I'm outta here." said Ansat, as he walked away. As he started to follow him, Ben looked back at the crowd, and spotted Princess Lily, and she didn't look very happy.
An hour later, Ansat was grinding down railings using his grind shoes, while Ben was tinkering with one of his inventions, when a girl walked up to them. It was Princess Lily.
"Quick, can you guys hide me?" she asked.
"Why?" asked Ben.
"No time for questions, just do it!"
Ansat picked up Lily and put her in a nearby trash can. Just then, some guys in suits and sunglasses ran up to them.
"Have you gentlemen seen Princess Lily?" one of them asked.
"Nope." said the speedster.
"How about you?" asked another one, who looked at Ben.
"No clue." said the inventor.
And so, they ran on by, as the princess got out of the trash can.
"Thanks, you two. However can I repay you?" she said.
"By taking a shower?" asked Ansat.
"Listen, I don't have much time. I need to escape from my family!"
"Why?" asked Ben. "Being rich looks like it rules."
"The 'being rich' part is glamorous, yes, but my family is very controlling and cruel."
"Like how?" asked Ansat.
"Well, just last week, they planned to marry me off to some random guy my age! When we met him the week before, he was rude, and very demeaning to me. It was very clear that he wanted nothing more than to control me."
Ansat and Ben were shocked.
"Yikes!" yelped Ben.
"Lemme guess, it was to unite kingdoms or some crap?" asked Ansat.
"Yes, and no matter how much I object, I still have to do it!"
"Don't worry, we'll get ya outta there." said Ansat.
"Ansat, isn't that illegal?" asked Ben.
"What would you rather do, save the princess from an abusive marriage to a royal d*ckweed, or follow the law?"
"I guess the former."
"Then come on!"
And so, Ansat led Ben and Lily to Pallet Pass.
Meanwhile, in Omelet's tower Omelet was watching the whole thing go down from his monitor.
"Excellent!" said Omelet. "Once I inform King Ronald, not only will those two troublesome teenagers be in jail, but the king will owe me, big time!"
"We already know the plan." said Julia.
"I wasn't explaining it to you, I was explaining it to them!"
Omelet pointed to the fourth wall, as Julia facepalmed.
"Can't anyone go one day without breaking the fourth wall?" she muttered to herself.
Back in Pallet Pass, Ansat, Ben, and Lily reached the treehouse.
"You live here?" asked the princess.
Ben nodded.
"But what about your parents?"
"Parents?" asked Ansat. "We don't have parents!"
He and Ben then started laughing, before eventually sighing sadly and hanging their heads. They climbed up the ladder into the treehouse, as Lily followed.
The treehouse was a little bigger on the inside. There was a counter with a microwave on top, a fridge, a desk, a couch, a TV, 2 video game consoles underneath, and Aracute napping on a pillow.
"Wow, what a quaint little cabin." she said.
"I have no clue how it's bigger on the inside, but it just is." said Ben.
"You can crash here until your folks leave town." said Ansat.
He booted up his Nega Exodus as he and Ben both grabbed their controllers.
"Wanna play Mega Fighter?" asked Ben.
"Nah, we played that yesterday. How about Dethbed?"
"Sure."
And so, Lily watched as a shirtless karate guy and a cyborg soldier beat each other up in gory 16-bit detail. Eventually, the karate guy won.
"End it!" said a voice.
Ansat's fingers became a blur as he inputted a special combination of buttons in lighting fast speed. Then, the karate guy ripped out the heart of the soldier, and slammed it in his face, knocking him over. Ansat cheered as Ben folded his arms.
"Oh, Benny boy. No need to get so mad." said Ansat. "It's not your fault that I'm just better."
Lily was in awe. "What is this marvelous show?" she asked.
"It's not a show," said Ben. "It's a video game."
"Oh! My parents never let me play video games. They said it turned people into murderers."
Ansat got pissed. "That's bogus!" he said.
"Bogus?" she asked.
"Yeah, bogus." said Ben. "It's when something is fake, or otherwise unpleasant."
"Ah."
And so, Lily watched as Ansat kicked Ben's butt in every game on their Nega Exodus that they had.
Back at the tower, Omelet was busy calling up the number of the royal family.
"Are you sure this is gonna work?" asked Sasha. "This plan seems pretty stupid."
"Shush!" said Omelet.
Someone picked up. It was King Ronald.
"Who are you and how did you get my number?" he asked.
"How I got your number is not important. I am Omelet Scramblebrains." said Omelet.
The king tried to resist laughing.
"Listen, I know the whereabouts of your daughter, Princess Lillian." said the mad scientist.
"You do?!" asked the king. "Where is she?!"
"She has been kidnapped by a wizard known as Ansat Lightningheart. Ansat is a delinquent known for running in the halls, spray painting buildings, hanging out with skateboarders, and disrespecting authority."
"How terrible! I don't want my daughter being corrupted by such insolent youth! She is to marry the king of Petrinia in a week, and he likes it when women are obedient to their husbands!"
"That's... Incredibly backwards and outdated but who am I to judge, right?"
"So, do you know where this Ansat fellow lives?"
"He lives in a treehouse in a grassland called Pallet Pass. He is most seen frequenting there."
And so, King Ronald hung up the phone.
Omelet cheered. "Then, when he captures that half brained hedgehog, he'll have to give me partial ownership of his kingdom! Then, I'll take over Prodigia!"
Sasha sighed. "Omelet, this isn't gonna work."
"Ah, but it will. You see, kidnapping or not, Ansat still helped the princess escape, so he'll be thrown in jail either way. That means that when I get found out, I technically won't get arrested!" replied the mad scientist. "Plus, the king will send his whole army after him, it'll be easy."
Meanwhile, at the treehouse, Ansat and Ben were watching PTV with Lily.
"Wow, my father says that people who listen to metal music are stupid." said Lily.
"Gee, your dad sounds like a real buzzkill." said Ben.
Suddenly, a bunch of people in suits of armor leapt in, wands and laser guns in hands.
"Stop right there, delinquent!" said one of them.
Ansat and Ben looked behind the couch, before looking back at the TV and turning the volume up. Lily looked back, and was horrified.
"Oh no, the royal guard!" she yelped.
"Whaddya mean, the guard?" asked Ansat. "There's more than one!"
A guard grabbed him by the arm.
"Ansat Lightningheart, you are under arrest for the kidnapping of Princess Lillian!" he said.
"Kidnapping? I went with them of my own volition!" said Lily.
"And you gave her Stockholm Syndrome, too, you sick bastard!"
Ansat broke free after he kicked the guard in the shin, and leapt out of the window. Unfortunately, a net was waiting for him. Fortunately, using his Quadruple Spin, he cut the net, but was caught again when he was handcuffed by a soldier who snuck up behind him.
As Ansat was being dragged away, he spotted King Ronald, who was reprimanding Lily. When Ben tried to intervene, he got zapped by a taser. That really got Ansat mad.
But alas, he couldn't do anything but watch as everything went down.
Episode 30: A Royal Pain: Part 2[]
A helicopter was flying in the air, as it was in a town somewhere in Beyun.
"This is Alpha-Zero 3 to control tower heading over the capital city. We have a cargo of captured wizard, over." said the pilot.
"Alright, but do you also have that Bonfire food I ordered?" asked some dude over the radio.
"Well, to be fair, capturing the princess's kidnapper is more important than food made by a sli- holy f*ck!"
"What?"
"The fugitive has escaped capture! I repeat, the fugitive has taken out everyone on board and has escaped capture!"
"Huh?"
"Damn it, get that delinquent, men!"
Suddenly, the helicopter door busted open, as Ansat flew out, and caught himself on the left wing.
"Sorry, but I won't be booking a flight with you ever again!" snarked the speedster. He climbed up onto the top of the wing, and ripped off a part of it.
Ansat leapt off of the wing, the piece of metal under his feet. He looked at the forth wall as he fell down from the copter, screaming, "Cowabunga!"
He landed on a street, which had some carriages and some horses parked on the downwards sloped street. He slid down the street as if he was snowboarding. Suddenly, a bunch of robots dropped down from the sky. Some of them were Eggbots, but the others looked tougher. They looked like they were actually made to kill.
As Ansat turned street corners on his makeshift board, he dodged robots, and carriages. The people on the street were surprised.
"Whoa, is that the kidnapper?" asked a man.
"You kidnapped the princess, you bastard!" said a woman.
"Don't let 'em catch you!" yelled a teenager.
Ansat smirked at that last comment, as he escaped army custody. Eventually, he reached what looked like a park, as the piece of metal flew off into the distance.
Ansat took no time at all running through the park, as robots galore tried to stop him. He was too quick for them, though, so he still never got caught. Eventually, he got crafty, and started doing things like dodging pedestrians, grinding down handrails, doing tricks, stuff like that. The robots never caught up, as the speedster made it back to the city.
He started walking down the street, laughing, thinking that everything was fine, until a giant tank teleported onto the street. Ansat looked behind him in horror.
"THE NEXO-WHEEL?!" he yelped. He started running as fast as he could, as the tank started firing lasers at him. Ansat went into Extreme Speed as he dashed down the street and turned corners as tightly as possible. Eventually, he reached a bunch of traffic.
Inside the Nexo-Wheel, Sasha groaned. Hammer and Spike were playing cards.
"Go fish." said Hammer.
"I thought we were playing War." said Spike.
"Hey wizard twig and fat f*ck. Pilot the Nexo-Wheel, I'm going on foot." said Sasha, as she left the room. Hammer took the wheel.
Ansat was running between all the carriages, as people stared at him. Sasha closed the distance pretty fast by flying up to him via some sort of turbo boosters subtly hidden in her back.
However, Ansat was not at full speed.
He blasted forwards, narrowly avoiding crashing into the carriages. Sasha kept flying after him, but she found him going further and further away.
Ansat looked back, laughing.
"I guess now you know why they call me the fastest thing ali-"
He had crashed into the wall of a building. He fell over, before hopping back up, and continuing on.
Back in Prodigia, Ben was on the ground, stunned, before he got back up.
"Damn!" he said. "They're both gone!"
He flew back up into the treehouse, and started packing a box full of stuff. Aracute saw all of this going on, and questioned Ben.
"Who am I gonna save?" asked the inventor. "Whaddya mean?"
Aracute gave him a dry look.
"Oh, yeah, Lily was gonna get married in a week! Well, maybe I should get Ansat first, he'll know what to do about this!"
Aracute gave him a stern look.
"Ah, don't worry, it'll be in a week, we have plenty of time."
And so, Ben has packed a box full of gizmos and gadgets and other things, and put them in his backpack. He then leapt out of the treehouse, and walked behind the trees.
He pulled out a remote of sorts from his pocket, and clicked the button, as his glider powered up.
"Let's do this!"
Ben's glider was flying over Lamplight, when he spotted Ashley.
"Hey, Ash!" he yelled down.
"Whatcha doing?" she yelled back.
"Saving Ansat, wanna come with?"
"Sure!"
Ben extended the rope ladder down to the faux reporter, as she climbed up, camera in hand.
And so, the two teenagers flew off.
Meanwhile, Lily was sitting in her room, her parents screaming at her.
"What were you thinking, running off with delinquent hooligans?!" her dad yelled. "What would Prince Arnold think?!"
"Wait, if you think I was kidnapped, why are yelling at me?" asked the princess. "And besides, I don't even want to marry Arnold!"
King Ronald was furious.
"You DARE talk back to me?!" he yelled. Lily immediately began tearing up, as her dad raised her hand.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-" she said, as she backed into a corner. She was cut off as she was backhanded across the face by the honorable king.
Lily laid face down on the ground, a puddle of tears surrounding her face. Her mom showed no sympathy.
"You should have known better." said Queen Amanda.
"You are grounded, and you WILL get married to Arnold!" yelled King Ronald. "If you step out of line again, I will lock you in the dungeon until your wedding day!"
And so, the king and queen left the room, leaving Amanda to cry. She turned on her TV to clear her mind.
Despite the fact that her dad's a major douchebag, he hadn't actually blocked any of the channels on his daughter's TV. He only set restrictions for what she could and couldn't watch on a note next to the TV. PTV was one of them, but since her parents had left, she decided to watch it anyways.
An anime was playing on its 'AniWave' block, when a breaking news alert came on.
"Breaking news!" said the newscaster. "Delinquent fugitive, Ansat Lightningheart has escaped captivity, and is currently on the run! If you see this wizard, report him to the local authorities, and you will get a million gold reward!"
Lily was shocked, before she smiled. Maybe Ansat would help her escape this nightmare.
Speaking of Ansat, he was busy outrunning Sasha, still. He was running on the rooftops, Sasha trying to chase after him, and failing.
"Gee, maybe Hammer and Spike would've had a better chance of catching me!" snarked the speedster.
Sasha got pissed off, but as Ansat was still moving at full speed, she couldn't catch up to him. And so, she blinked twice, before firing lasers from her eyes at Ansat.
Ansat kept trying to dodge the lasers while running, and while he was doing a good job staying focused, once he leapt from the roof to another roof, Sasha shot a direct hit at his back. Ansat lost his focus, as he barely made the jump. His head slammed onto the roof as he struggled to hang on. Sasha flew over to the other rooftop, and started laughing at Ansat.
"What was that about Hammer and Spike?" she asked.
"Well, to be fair, considering that you took an hour to catch me, my point still stands." replied Ansat.
Sasha, enraged, stomped on Ansat's fingers. She kept jumping on them repeatedly, but the persistent idiot wouldn't let go. Eventually, Ansat let go, but landed on a clothesline, and was slingshotted back up into the roof.
He did a fancy bow, before Sasha punched him in the face. Ansat punched her back, before a fight broke out.
Sasha pounced onto Ansat, and punched his face. Ansat kicked her off, and leapt back up. Sasha charged at him, but Ansat nailed her with a spinning back kick to the face. While she was stunned, Ansat curled up into a ball, and launched himself into her midsection.
Sasha recovered, and turned her left arm into a spinning drill blade. She kept jabbing at the speedster, but he kept dodging. Ansat kept his distance, before charging at, and then around Sasha, moving at some pretty fast speeds. Using his momentum, Ansat closed in on Sasha, before she flew upwards, and started firing lasers at him.
Ansat skidded to a stop, before jumping into the air. He couldn't jump as high as Sasha was, but after a couple tries, he grabbed Sasha's foot. She tried to shake him off, but Ansat couldn't be deterred, as he climbed onto Sasha's back. She turned on her turbo boosters in an attempt to throw him off, and Ansat fell to the turf, losing some of his coins.
Ansat got back up, wagging his finger, as two other figures climbed up onto the roof.
Hammer and Spike.
"Any last words?" asked Spike.
"Uhh, to be continued?" asked Ansat, turning to the forth wall.
Episode 30: A Royal Pain: Part 3[]
In the country of Petrinia was a prince, who was boarding a helicopter with his bodyguards and his parents.
"Well, Arnold, are you ready to visit your bride?" asked the king of Petrinia.
"Yes. It will be a joy to see Lillian again!" said Prince Arnold. He was grinning.
The helicopter set off, to the kingdom of Beyun.
Back in Beyun, Ben's glider was flying over Capital City.
"Any signs of him?" asked Ben. Ashley was too busy recording the view. Ben sighed, as he tried to find a place to land. He decided to land on the roof of this really big house, as he and Ashley got off of the glider.
"Eesh, this is bigger than the Academy." said Ben.
"Well, of course it is. Beyun is known for its big buildings, and all that stuff." said Ashley.
They both spotted a window.
"Should we go inside?" asked Ben.
"Nah, I don't think so. I mean, that is breaking and entering, which is illegal." said Ashley. She sighed at the sight of Ben opening the window anyways.
They hopped into the room, in all of its glory. It was a lavish bedroom, with a king sized canopy bed, and a room sized closet, and a flat screen TV which was at least half the size of a movie screen, which a certain princess sitting in a fancy sofa, watching it.
"Whoa, this place is awesome!" said Ben. He played an air guitar, which caused a guitar riff to play. That shocked the princess, as she looked behind the sofa. She leapt out of said sofa, and ran over to Ben, and hugged him.
"Oh, thank god, Benjamin! I was so scared! My father threatened to lock me in the dungeon if I stepped out of line again!" she said. She then spotted Ashley. "Who's she?"
"That's Ashley. She's me and Ansat's other friend." said Ben.
Suddenly, the three heard footsteps come up to the door. Ben and Ashley dove into the canopy bed, as Lily turned off the TV, and laid face down on the couch.
King Ronald walked in.
"Prince Arnold is here." he said. "You'd better be on your best behavior, or else!"
He left the room, as the blond haired prince walked up to Lily.
"Why, hello, Lily." he said. Lily sat up.
"Hello, Arnold..."
"Now, why the long face? Other than last week, we haven't seen each other in years."
"Um, my goldfish died."
"Ah. Oh well, no need to be sad over trivial things."
Ashley was recording the audio from the bed, and Arnold gave both her and Ben bad vibes. They decided to wait before taking action.
Meanwhile, King Ronald was sitting in front of a computer, and started to video call someone.
Who else would it be but Omelet.
Omelet picked up the call from his tower, dressed in a white suit with his favorite tie with a picture of an egg on it. Julia was sitting in the background, tinkering with a machine.
"Why, hello, your majesty." said Omelet.
"Hello, Omelet." replied King Ronald. "I am ever so grateful for your help in rescuing Lillian. However can I repay you?"
"You could give me some of you power?"
"Why not? Anything for the man who brought my daughter back. We'll arrange the coronation in a week. Good day, sir."
And so, Ronald hung up.
Omelet was shocked.
"That was easier than expected." said the mad inventor.
"Just don't expect it to work." said Julia. "The henchmen still haven't retrieved Ansat after he escaped capture, and when they spill that they're your henchmen..."
"How is it that whenever they screw up, they're my henchmen?"
Speaking of Ansat, he was still staring down Hammer, Spike, and Sasha.
"It's 3 on 1, hedgehog!" said Hammer. "Game over!"
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Oh, Hammer, I thought you were smarter than this." snarked Ansat.
Hammer and Spike charged at the speedster, both trying to punch and kick him down. Ansat kept dodging, before backing up to the edge of the roof. Ansat pretended to fall off, before grabbing the ledge. Hammer and Spike looked over the ledge, only to find that there was no Ansat.
"Behind you, you idiots!" yelled Sasha.
Ansat had snuck up behind Hammer and Spike, but before he could spook them, he was laser blasted in the back. Sasha leapt at him, Hammer and Spike turning around and grabbing Ansat by the arms so that he couldn't move. Sasha headbutted the speedster, before activating her drill arm, and pointing it at Ansat's stomach.
"Whaddya think boys? Should I do it?" She asked. Hammer and Spike started cheering her on. Fortunately for Ansat, they had loosened their grip, so he escaped from the hold, and curled up into a ball and rolled under Sasha's legs in order to escape the drill.
The three henchmen ran after him, but Ansat ran circles around them, confusing Hammer and Spike. Ansat took advantage of this, and placed one hand on the back of their heads.
"You may now kiss the groom!" he said, as he slammed their heads together. They fell onto the ground, as Sasha facepalmed.
"Give up?" asked the speedster. Sasha growled, as she tried to fly at him. Ansat backflipped out of the way, doing multiple flips and tricks just to show off. Unfortunately, he got careless, as Sasha knocked him over. She then stomped on his chest, turning her right hand into a buzzsaw.
"Time to die!" she said.
Ansat looked around, and grabbed a random brick.
"Get off of me, you psychotic spoiled sucker!" he said, as he jabbed the brick into her shin. Sasha grabbed her shin in pain (don't worry, she changed her arm back first), giving Ansat and avenue of escape. He leapt out from under her foot, before kicking her onto the ground.
"Man, this got real boring real quickly." said Ansat, as he ran away.
Meanwhile, at the castle, Ben and Ashley were still hearing the uncomfortable conversation that was going on.
"Oh, no need to be so hesitant. After all, when we were kids, we promised that we would get married when we got older." said Arnold.
"But we were kids..." said Lily.
"Well, nothing can stop true love!"
Arnold then caressed Lily. Ben opened the curtains to the canopy, and was utterly confused. Ashley recorded the whole thing.
"Gee, this is sick." she said. "So why am I still recording this?"
That was when King Ronald entered the room.
"Lillian, your mother and I have decided to move your wedding up to two days later in order to prepare for the coronation of Omelet Scramblebrains." he said. "Your parents have been informed, too, Arnold."
Arnold was pleased. Lily was not. King Ronald left the room, as Ashley gasped.
"This is huge." whispered Ashley to Ben. "If news gets out about the king giving Omelet power, he'll be ruined."
"Serves him right." said Ben.
Then, Arnold grinned seductively.
"Well, Lily, in order to celebrate our new wedding date, I would like you to kiss me in the bed chamber." he said.
"Uhm, I don't think that we should, we're not even properly married yet..."
"What was that?"
"I'm so sorry..."
"Did you just talk back to me?"
"No!"
Lily was backhanded across the face again. She tried to leave the couch, but Arnold forcibly grabbed her wrist.
"You WILL do it with me, whether you like it or not!" he yelled. Lily was crying, and trying to resist.
Ben and Ashley were disturbed. They were about to burst out of the canopy bed in order to interfere, when they heard a glass crashing noise.
"You royal d*ckweed!" said a familiar voice.
It was Ansat.
Ben and Ashley poked their heads out, and saw Ansat, who was glaring at Arnold.
"Didn't anyone ever teach you about consent?" he asked. He wasn't smirking, he wasn't even tapping his toes, or wagging his finger, or anything.
Arnold was angry. "You're the fugitive!" he said. "You tried to kidnap my poor Lily!"
"And you're trying to force a kiss!"
Arnold reached his hand behind his back, and pulled out a fencing sword.
"En garde!" he said.
Ansat was not amused. He charged at Arnold, and kicked him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Arnold was on the verge of coughing blood, as Ansat turned to Lily.
"You okay?" he asked.
Lily ran to Ansat, and hugged him. Ben and Ashley walked up to them.
"It's fine. Prince Arnold won't be forcing any kisses." said Ben. "Won't you?"
Ben looked at Arnold, only to find out that he wasn't there. He was near the door, pressing a button that said 'Security'.
The guards were there in seconds, along with King Ronald and Queen Amanda, who witnessed Lily hugging Ansat, as well as Ben standing around and Ashley recording.
Ben spotted the guards, and dashed towards the window. Ashley bailed, too. Lily was pried off of Ansat, as she was dragged out of the room. Ansat couldn't do much, as he so had to bolt towards the window.
Ben started up the glider as the other two sat on the turbines. The glider flew outta there, but some helicopters were following them.
"Crap." said Ben. "Ansat, Ashley, can you shake 'em off?"
Ashley couldn't do anything, so Ansat had to start throwing stuff from his bag at the helicopters. Stuff like cans of pasta, boxes of pizza-dogs, Feia history textbook, stuff like that.
The glider was close to Prodigia now, but suddenly, some soldiers peered out of the doors, and started firing lasers at them. They missed for the most part, but struck Ansat, as he fell off of the turbine, falling to the island. Then, Ashley was shot off. Then, they shot the engine to the glider, as all 3 wizards went flying to the island in different directions.
Episode 30: A Royal Pain: Part 4[]
Fei was staring out the large glass window in her cell. The large window was apparently a design flaw, but there wasn't enough money to fix the mistake, so it was stuck like that. Fei didn't mind. It helped to calm her mind, as she thought about her actions. That was when she saw a wizard flying towards her window. It was Ansat, screaming as he crashed through the glass window.
Ansat laid on the floor, before curling up into a ball, and hopping up.
Then, he saw who it was that he was face to face with.
"How's it hanging?" asked Fei.
"Well, I'm wanted by the royal guard of Beyun." snarked Ansat.
"Neat, you're following in my footsteps already." snarked the female delinquent. She then hugged him. "I missed you, loser."
"You too, you purple haired punk."
"Anyways, what're you doing here?"
"Well, long story short, the royal guard of Beyun thinks that I kidnapped Princess Lily, and after walking in on her arranged groom trying to force a kiss, the guard are after me again."
"I thought you were joking."
"I'll explain everything when we get to the treehouse."
"Wait, I still need to serve my sentence."
Fei then laughed, before following Ansat out the window. Luckily, they were on the first floor.
Meanwhile, Ashley landed in a dumpster in an alleyway. Luckily, there were some garbage bags there to catch her. She got up, and witnessed Connor beating up on a bunch of thugs, before tying them up with rope. He then spotted Ashley.
"Oh, hey, Ashley." he said in his usual dark and mysterious voice.
"Uhm, hi, Connor." replied the faux reporter.
"What're you doing here?"
"The royal guard of Beyun is after me and my friends."
"Those royal scuzzbuckets?"
"Well, yeah."
"Isn't the princess getting married in 2 days?"
"Well, yeah. How are you getting all this, I haven't uploaded any of my footage yet."
"It's all over the tabloids."
"Hmm. The one time they actually got something right. Anyways, I'll show you the footage when we get to Ansat's treehouse."
Meanwhile, Ben crash landed right in front of the Friendship Squad's clubhouse. The crash was loud enough that the girls all rushed to the front door. Ramona was the first to see.
"You idiot, what are you doing here?" she asked.
"Crash landing, dude." said Ben, who was getting up. "The royal family of Beyun is after us."
"What did you do, spray paint their castle?"
"That's an Ansat thing. And besides, the royal family is actually evil, and they wanna marry the princess to an abusive douchebag."
Ariel was the second one to come to the door.
"The royal family is doing that?" she asked.
"Yeah! Plus, the king's giving power to Omelet in a week!"
Everyone perked up.
"This seems serious." said Tess.
"Yeah, I'll explain everything on the way to the treehouse."
At the treehouse, everyone was sitting around the desk.
"So, what's the plan?" asked Fei.
"I dunno." said Petunia.
"Do we get to bash some heads?" asked Connor.
"No, Connor, we're on a rescue mission, we're not here to commit battery." said Ben.
"If we're going overseas, don't we need to build a contraption?" asked Ramona.
Everyone was chatting over each other, when Ansat shut them all up.
"Alright, dudes, listen. First, we need to know who we're up against. I'm pretty sure that Ashley recorded some stuff, so let's watch that." he said. Ashley plugged her camera into the TV, where everyone saw everything.
Everyone was equally disgusted.
"Now that we're on the same page, let's think of a plan." said Ashley. "We have two days until Lily gets married, so we need to come up with a transport method, a way of showing the proof, and a way of crashing the wedding."
And so, the teens got to thinking.
They thought of numerous plans, some of which were smart, others were dumb. Everyone had decent ideas, but only time would tell if they worked.
The next two days are boring, so let's skip to wedding day.
Lily was locked in a cage, tears streaming down her face. She had only been allowed to leave to change into her wedding dress. She was only 16, and yet she had to throw her life away for an abusive douchebag.
A guard walked to the cage, and unlocked it. Lily walked out of the dungeon, and was escorted to the palace's wedding hall.
The whole ceremony took place, with all that wedding stuff happening. Then, the minister spoke those dreaded six words.
"You may now kiss the bride."
Arnold puckered his lips, and moved his face closer to Lily. This was it. Once their lips touched, her life was over.
Suddenly, the door was kicked down, as some music started playing. A bunch of teenagers were standing at the doorframe, looking royally pissed off.
The guards charged at them, as the teens ran forwards.
"SNEAKER POWER!" they all yelled. The king and queen were shocked. He called Omelet.
"Omelet, your enemies are attacking!" said King Ronald. "Come here as fast as you can!"
Omelet, from his lair, grabbed a laser blaster, and zapped himself, Sasha, Hammer, and Spike to the wedding hall.
Connor took out two guards with his shuffleboarding stick and cricket bat. Fei picked up a random piece of wood, and started whacking the guards as if it was a baseball bat. Ansat was overwhelming the guards with his speed, Ben was laser blasting the guards with Ramona, Petunia was baiting the guards into being attacked by Tess, and Ariel was swinging a sword at the guard.
While the teens were beating up the guards, Ashley was focused on hooking her camera up to a huge TV that was in the back of the room. However, Sasha grabbed her by the back of the neck, and lifted her up.
"Sign off time, Ashley!" she said. However, the video was being transmitted to the TV, as the video started playing.
The crowd saw the whole video, including the audio of Arnold trying to force a kiss on Lily, and Ronald announcing his plan to put Omelet in a position of power.
"And that's not all!" said Lily, who had suddenly gained some bravery. "My father, the king, physically abuses me! He struck me, and locked me in the dungeon two days ago!"
The crowd booed the king and Arnold, as they approached them. Omelet zapped him and his henchmen back to the tower before anyone noticed that they were there.
Ansat and Ben high fived, as everyone cheered, 'n stuff. Lily ran up to the two, and hugged them.
"I owe you two big time!" she said.
"Excellent!" said Ansat and Ben. They played air guitar, in which a riff played.
"Hey, guys," said Ramona. "I think we better get home."
"The guards have definitely noticed that I haven't been in my cell for two days." said Fei.
"The crime must be getting rowdy since I'm not there." said Connor.
"Point taken, dudes." said Ansat. "Let's jet."
And so, everyone walked outside of the castle, and piled into a huge basket, which was under the glider, and flew off.
The next day, Ansat and Ben were watching TV.
"And in other news, the king of Beyun has been impeached for trying to give power to a known supervillain. Due to the fact that his daughter has expressed disinterest in taking up the throne, there will be an election held to determine the new ruler of Beyun." said the newscaster.
"Hey, it might not be the best ending, but this was one hell of an adventure." said Ansat.
"Damn right. I just wonder what happened to Lily." said Ben.
Just then, Lily climbed into the treehouse. She wasn't wearing a fancy gown, but instead, a jean jacket covering a white T-shirt, and a pink skirt.
"Hello there, guys." she said.
"Speak of the Mary-Sue." said Ansat.
"What's up, Lily?" asked Ben.
"I just wanted to thank you. Without you two, I never would've achieved freedom." she said.
"Hey, that's cool, but since you're not rich, how're you gonna make money?" asked Ben
"Well, your friend, Ashley gave me some money to buy my own home, and I think I might open a store in order to supplement my income."
"Hey, that's pretty cool!" said Ansat.
"You might even say... excellent!"
Lily played air guitar, an out of tune guitar riff playing. Ansat, Ben, and Lily laughed, as their adventure drew to a close.
Meanwhile, at Omelet's tower...
"What do you mean, you lost the Nexo-Wheel?!" yelled Omelet.
"Well, we parked it on a street to go right Ansat, but then we couldn't find it." said Hammer.
"Are you f*cking stupid?!"
"Yes, they are." said Sasha.
"And let's not forget about you, Sasha! Not only did you take an hour to slow down the hedgehog, you didn't even catch him with help!" yelled Julia.
"What's your point?" asked Spike.
"YOU THREE ARE GROUNDED, GO TO YOUR ROOMS!" yelled both of the scientists. The three henchmen walked out of the room, groaning.
Silence.
"I feel like we're missing something." said Julia.
"Oh, right!" said Omelet, remembering what they were missing. "I HATE THAT HALF BRAINED HEDGEHOG!"
Episode 31: The Quest for Nachos[]
One day, after school, Ansat and Ben were lounging around, when they realized something.
"I'm hungry." They both said.
"Wanna go to Tony's?" asked Ben.
"I hate to say it, but I think I've had too much. We've been eating at Tony's every day for 2 weeks." Replied Ansat.
"Wanna go to the Mega 11, then?"
"Sure."
And so, Ansat and Ben left the treehouse in order to get some below average nachos at the convenience store.
They walked inside, grabbed a container of chips each, and went over to pour the cheese, when they were met with a nasty surprise.
"Is that cheese green?!" exclaimed Ben.
"I've heard of blue cheese, but this is ridiculous!" said Ansat.
"Yeah, uhh, I wouldn't recommend eating that." said the clerk. "We haven't replaced that in two weeks, but if you don't tell my boss, or the health inspector, I'll let you throw those containers away for free."
And so, Ansat and Ben left the Mega 11, most totally grossed out.
"Well, damn." said Ansat. "I guess we're starving today."
"Well, I think one of those fancy restaurants sells nachos." said Ben.
"Which one?"
"Chez Seed."
"Alright, let's go."
And so, the two walked to the fancy restaurant, as all of the fancy looked people looked at them and their weird matching jackets.
Ansat folded his arms across the hostess's podium.
"We'd like two plates of loaded nachos, dude." he said, trying to look cool.
The hostess's mouth made a slight smirk.
"Sir, we have a strict dress code." she said. "You have to dress formally."
"Meaning?"
"Tuxedos or ball gowns."
Ben tapped Ansat on the shoulder.
"Don't we have those suits we wore to the dance?"
"Nah, we burnt them at the after-party after we got drunk."
"I still have no clue how we got drunk off of root beer."
"Listen, sir, if you really don't wanna dress formally, you're welcome to go to Tony's instead."
And so, Ansat and Ben left the restaurant.
"Well, that didn't work." said Ben.
"Now how are we gonna get nachos?" asked Ansat.
Suddenly, a man in a leather jacket and sunglasses walked up to them.
"Gentlemen, I have a solution." he said.
"Martin!" said the duo, in unison.
"I thought you went back to the future, dude!" said Ansat.
"Well, I decided to come back to the past in order to study the architecture. Anyways, I have a leftover plate of nachos, if you want it."
"Absolutely!" said Ben.
Martin walked away for a few minutes, and returned with a barely touched plate of nachos.
"Bon appetit, my excellent friends."
Ansat and Ben dug in, only to taste nothing.
"Hey, what gives?" asked Ben.
"Oh, my apologies, guys." said the time traveler. "I forgot to mention that wizards have evolved in my time. Our taste buds have reached a new level, so we don't have to put as many spices and chemicals in our food. The people in my time would consider your food so very full of flavor. That must be why you don't taste anything."
"Oh well, thanks for trying, Martin." said Ansat.
"No problem. See you around."
And so, Ansat and Ben walked away.
They walked past an apartment complex, before getting an idea.
"Hey, Ashley's rich adjacent, why don't we raid her fridge?" asked Ben.
"Sure, and go use our friend just to get food." snarked Ansat.
"Come on, we're both starving."
"Fine, but we're at least gonna invite her over later."
The two walked into the apartment building, and rode the elevator to the penthouse. Then, after greeting Ashley's aunt, they walked to her room.
"Yo, wassup, Ash?" asked Ansat.
"Hey, guys. I'm kind of busy editing this video, what do you need?" replied the faux reporter.
"Do you have any nachos?"
"Well, no, but I know where you could get some."
Ashley saved her video, before closing her laptop, and leading the two idiots to the kitchen, where the butler (and also chef), Herman, was sitting lazily in a chair.
"Hey, Herman, can you make these two some nachos?" asked Ashley.
"No. I'm on my break."
"Didn't your break end an hour ago?"
Herman didn't respond. He checked his watch, and sighed. He went to the stove, and put some cheese into a pot.
2 minutes later, he served the two their nachos, grinning evilly.
Ansat bit into one chip, before spitting it out in disgust.
"That tastes nasty!" he said. He then realized that there were crickets in the thick cheese. Ben realized this, too, and pushed his plate away before he could eat any.
"Thanks, Herman, but we'll pass." said Ben as he and his companion walked out of the kitchen. Herman started laughing, as he want back to his chair to laze around.
Ansat and Ben were still determined to find some nachos, when they saw a couple of girls. One of them was 15, the other 13, their exact ages. One of them wore a blue band tee and jeans, while the other wore an orange jacket, shorts, and glasses.
"Whoa, check out those girls." said Ansat to Ben.
The girls noticed them, too. They walked over to them.
"Yo, I'm Suken." said the older one.
"I'm Tam." said the younger one.
"You dudes wanna come over to our house?" asked Suken. "We could watch some PTV and hang out."
"Eh, I'm not sure, dude." replied Ansat.
"We could eat some nachos too..." said Tam, with less confidence than her friend.
Ansat and Ben looked at each other, before playing an air guitar, a riff playing out of nowhere. The girls joined in, too, before going back to their house.
It was an old tool shed. However, it had cabinets, a fridge, a TV, and most importantly, a couch.
They walked inside, as Suken closed the door.
A few minutes later, Ansat and Ben walked out of the shed, covered in lipstick.
"Catch you dudes on the flip side!" said Suken.
Ansat and Ben walked away from the house, chuckling like a couple of idiots.
"Those girls were cool." said Ansat.
"We should go over there more often." said Ben.
They both walked down the street, when they realized something.
"The nachos!" they both exclaimed.
Ansat and Ben both facepalmed.
"Damn!" said Ben.
"Man, this is the last time we ever make out with anybody!" said Ansat. They both looked at each other.
"Nah." They both said, before laughing.
The two teens sat down at a bench, before Ansat got a phone call from a random number.
"Yo." he said.
On the other side was Omelet.
"Hello, hedgehog. I've been observing your antics." he said.
Ansat was a little shocked.
"Wait, every antic?"
"Well, not every antic, my camera cut out when you and your sidekick were talking to those girls. My point is, you two want nachos, don't you?"
"Well, yeah, dude."
"If you really want nachos, I'll give you some. Come over to my tower, and bring Ben. I'll give you some nachos!"
Ansat really should've declined, but he was too hungry to use his brain, so he just hung up.
"We're getting nachos!" he said.
"From who?"
"Omelet."
"Hmm," said Ben. "You want us to go to our worst enemy's lair where he might have multiple traps set up, just so that we can get nachos?"
"Well, we haven't gotten any progress anywhere else."
And so, the two dumb@$$es walked to Omelet's tower. At said tower, Omelet was chuckling to himself. Julia was also in the room.
"Why exactly did you think this would work?" she asked, working on an invention.
"They spent the entire episode looking for f*cking nachos! Needless to say, this plan I have in the bag." replied Omelet, who was polishing off some laser guns.
Ansat and Ben walked into the room.
"Alright, eggbreath, where's the nachos?" asked Ansat.
"The only nachos you'll be getting are when you land in hell!" replied Omelet, shooting them both with a laser rifle.
Ansat and Ben flew out of the door, before running back it, pissed off.
"You dirty liar!" yelled Ansat.
"Well, in Omelet's defense, you did come to your worst enemy's lair expecting a favor." said Julia.
"Yeah, real dumb move." said Omelet.
"What were you thinking?" asked Ben.
Omelet shot at Ansat again, the speedster dodging every laser blast fired at him. He then rushed at Omelet, but stopped when he smelled something.
"Is that... queso?" he asked.
That was when Hammer walked down the stairs to the command room, holding several plates of nachos.
"Hey, bosses, where do you want me to put your nachos?" Asked the henchman.
Ansat turned his attention to Hammer instead. Hammer got scared.
"I thought you would've killed the hedgehog by now!" he said.
"Yes, a slight setback in the plan." said Omelet, reloading his laser gun.
Ansat charged at Hammer, and kicked him in the gut, causing the fat oaf to toss the plates in the air. Without missing much delay, Ben flew into action, and caught the plates. He then opened a window.
"Look, eggman, we'd love to kick your @$$, but we have some dinner to eat." said Ansat, wagging his finger. He then jumped out of the window, Ben flying after him.
Omelet was pissed.
"Don't say I didn't tell you so." said Julia, smirking.
"I HATE THAT HALF BRAINED HEDGEHOG!" yelled Omelet.
Meanwhile, back at the treehouse, Ansat and Ben were eating nachos on their couch, Aracute eating a plate on his pillow.
On the TV, there was a commercial playing.
"Come down to Nacho Bowl today for huge plates of nachos, with over 20 different toppings and hot sauces, all at a low price!" it said.
"Wait, we could've gone to Nachos Bowl this whole time?!" asked Ben. "We didn't need to steal Omelet's nachos?!"
"DAMN!" yelled Ansat. He then shrugged. "At least we have nachos still."
And so, the two ate their nachos, as they watched TV and thought about how they not only could've avoided this whole adventure, but also the next time they could visit those two bodacious babes again.
Episode 32: Extreme Life Guarding[]
Ansat and Ben were short on cash, so they were walking around town, looking for a way to make money. They were at Tony's restaurant.
"Sorry, boys, but I already have enough staff to last me a lifetime." said Tony. "But, I can give you two a free box of pizza-dogs, since you're so low on cash."
And so, the two left the place with their box of pizza-dogs.
"Damn. That was the only place I could think of." said Ansat.
"Maybe Nacho Bowl would take us?" asked Ben.
So the two walked to Nacho Bowl. The place was filled with nacho enthusiasts, and below average workers.
"Sorry boys," said the manager. "But you two are too under qualified for this job."
"How?" asked Ansat. "We wasted all of our money on this place this week."
"Well, do either of you know how to cook?"
Ansat and Ben looked at each other.
"No."
"Then I think you'll understand why I can't hire you."
Ansat and Ben walked out of the restaurant, sighing.
The two decided to hit up Shipwreck Shore, so that they could at least enjoy a little sun. They sat down in some empty beach chairs, eating their pizza-dogs, when they heard screaming.
"Help me! The seaweed's pulling me down!" yelled a kid. Everyone looked at him, wanting to help, but not knowing how.
Suddenly, a blonde haired girl in a red bathing suit zipped by on a surfboard. When she got close enough to the kid, she leapt off of the board, and dove into the water. Under the water, she grabbed the seaweed that was grabbing the boy's leg, and karate chopped it. The boy swam up to the surface, breathing heavily.
The girl swam the boy back to the shore.
"Hey, little guy. Why don't you stay out of that area for now?" she said. The boy nodded, as he walked back to his mom.
As she walked away, Ansat and Ben looked on in awe.
"Is that Tiffany from one grade up?" asked Ben.
"Hell yeah!" said Ansat. "I know what our next job is!"
And so, they walked to the lifeguard tower where Tiffany was hanging out. She noticed them standing there, and walked out of there, and onto the deck.
"What's up?" asked Ansat.
"Wait, aren't you the kid that broke the sound barrier while running from those hall monitors?" asked Tiffany.
"The one and only!"
"So, what do you two need?"
"We want jobs." said Ben.
"Ah, what the heck? I'm the only lifeguard here." said Tiffany.
Ansat and Ben started playing air guitar, the resulting riff being a little longer than usual.
And so, Ansat and Ben were given red board shorts and whistles.
"Alright, dudes. What you have to do, is basically just watch over all of these people, and make sure none of them drown." said the lifeguard.
Ansat and Ben both sat in lifeguard chairs, which were a far way away from each other.
Ben was vigilant with watching people, but Ansat got bored very quickly.
He sat in his chair, passing the time by watching all the surfers and girls. That was when he randomly scanned his eyes at a patch of the water. There was a guy drowning. Ansat watched for a split second before coming back to reality, and leapt outta the chair. It seemed that Ben noticed, too, since he flew out of his chair.
They both darted towards the sea. Ben flew above the water, while Ansat ran across the water. They both reached the man, as Ansat skidded to a stop, splashing water in his face, while Ben hovered above.
Ansat struggled to figure out how to carry the man.
"I thought you could swim!" said Ben.
"Not while carrying someone!" replied Ansat.
"Just grab his arms!"
Ansat grabbed the man's arms, as Ben grabbed his waist, and flew them both to shore.
However, the man was still choking.
"Uh, this guy's still choking." said Ben.
"I can see that, bonehead." said Ansat. "How do we get him to stop?"
"How about that CRT stuff?"
"Sure!"
They both stood still.
"We don't know any CRT, do we?" asked Ben.
"I got an idea!" said Ansat. He looked to the fourth wall. "Remember, kids, we're idiots, you're not, don't try this at home."
And then, Ansat leapt up, before crashing his elbow down on the poor man's stomach. Fortunately, he didn't die, and instead, he coughed out part of a tentacle.
The man got up.
"You idiots. I could've died!" he said.
"Sorry, dude." said Ansat, sounding sincere.
"We don't know CRT." said Ben.
"You mean CPR?"
"Oh yeah!" said the two. Everyone started laughing, before the man walked off grumpily.
Then, Tiffany walked up to them.
"Congrats, your first rescue." she said. "How do you feel?"
"Well, we lack half the skills required for this job, and we almost killed a man, so overall, pretty good." snarked Ansat.
"Ah, don't worry, I dropped an elbow on my first rescue victim, too."
"That's concerning." said Ben.
"Listen, I need you two to patch up a nasty victim of an octopus attack." she said. "He's in the tower."
"You don't have a medical center?"
"I told you, I'm the only person here. Now go patch that guy up."
"Whatever you say, Tiff." said Ansat.
The two walked to the tower, only to see a guy with a huge gash in his arm. It was bleeding like hell.
"Holy sh*t!" said the two. They rushed over to the man. He was screaming in pain. Ben rushed to a drawer, and pulled out some hand sanitizer. He sprayed it all over the guy's arm, as he screamed even louder.
"Ben, you bonehead, you made it even worse." said Ansat.
"No, it's supposed to hurt!" yelled the man.
"Oh, okay, keep spraying."
Ben emptied the whole bottle onto the dude's arm, as he screamed at an ear splitting level.
"Grab the band aids!" said Ben.
Ansat checked everywhere. He found none.
"All I found was this toilet paper." he said.
"That's gauze." said Ben. "I guess it's like a bandage, let's use that."
Ansat wrapped the bandage around the man's arm, but he was wrapping at a really fast speed. Eventually, when he stopped, the bandage looked more like a cast.
"You did it too tight, I think I'm losing circulation!" yelled the man.
Ansat and Ben were confused on what to do, so Ansat pulled out a lighter.
"Where'd you get that?" asked Ben.
"Fei gave it to me."
"Fei's in juvie."
"Remember Episode 30?"
"Oh, right."
Ansat lit the bandage on fire as it burned it's way to the center. The room was very awkward and silent.
"So... how'd an octopus cause a huge scar?" asked Ansat.
"Oh, well the octopus's suction cups had spikes on them, and one of them scratched my arm."
"Their suction cups don't have spikes." said Ben.
"This one did."
Ansat and Ben looked at each other, confused. Then, the man started screaming again, as Ansat poured his water bottle out on the flame.
"Well, you guys might be amateurs, and your handling of my injury could have killed me, but you're both pretty fun." said the man, as he left the tower. Then, Tiffany walked in.
"Nice job handling your first injury." she said. "But, do you guys know why the bandage is black?"
"No clue." said the duo.
"...right. Anyways, you guys are back on patrol duty. We'll switch off every hour."
"Excellent?" asked the duo.
And so, over the next few days, Ansat and Ben did their job as lifeguards, and didn't bungle it as badly as they did on their first day. However, they didn't have as much time to goof around as usual since they had to go right after classes. There was also the issue of people getting injured by weird animals. People got swarmed by a school of fish with laser eyes, sharks with two fins, and of course, octopi with spike suckers.
One day, Ansat and Ben were chilling at the lifeguard tower, listening to metal music while lazing around.
"Y'know, it sure is weird that nobody's come in with an injury this shift." said Ben. Ansat bonked him on the head, as Tiffany walked in.
"Lemme guess, someone got their leg impaled by a marlin?" snarked Ansat.
"No. Since nobody's gotten injured yet, I need you two to go join me on patrol. I need to watch out for some weird animals." Said Tiffany.
"Coolio." said Ansat.
So they walked out to the sea.
Meanwhile, under the sea was a weird fish. This fish was huge, and had a window for eyes. It looked like a submarine.
It was a submarine.
Inside was Omelet.
"Now, I can finally get my revenge on all of those beach goers for making fun of me for being fat!" he said.
"Haven't you been working out offscreen? You're not as fat as you used to be, so you can just walk into the beach without getting laughed at." said Sasha.
"Shut up and deploy the Spiketopus."
Sasha walked to a back panel, and pressed a button. Out of thin water, an octopus with spikes on its suction cups appeared, as it swam close to shore.
Meanwhile, the three lifeguards were watching the beach, scanning for weird sea creatures, like spike octopi, laser fish, or robo crabs, when they heard a scream. Ansat and Ben immediately rushed towards the ocean, Tiffany following from behind.
Ansat grabbed a random piece of driftwood off of the ground, and used it as a surf board.
"Cowabunga!" he said.
"Huh, the one time that line has actually been used in the proper context." said Ben.
They made their way towards the woman who screamed, as they saw underneath that there was a spike covered octopus underneath her. Ben carried the woman to safety while Ansat swam under the water to beat up this thing.
The Spiketopus swung it's tentacles at Ansat, as he very narrowly dodged, trying to hold his breath. Eventually, Ansat got in a hit, but not before swimming back up to catch his breath, and swimming back to shore.
"Dude, that old guy was right, there is a spiky octopus!" he said.
"What?" asked Ben.
"Alright, well your next assignment is to take out that damn thing." said Tiffany. "Hell, I'll even come with you."
"Shouldn't you be on duty?"
"Ah, it's fine. Nobody's swimming right now, anyways."
"Dude, you are one bogus lifeguard."
The three waded into the water, before diving in when they got deep enough.
Under the sea, Ansat was on the sea floor, looking for the robot octopus. Ben and Tiffany were above him, swimming around.
They were being watched by Omelet.
"Drat. They've caught on!" he said.
"Well, that is what happens when you attack the Shore 3 times a day over 2 weeks." said Sasha.
Meanwhile, the trio finally found the Spiketopus. It didn't notice them, however, so Ansat decided to attack it with an electric attack... before promptly shocking himself, his friends, and the nearby fish all at the same time. That made the Spiketopus notice them.
It swung it's tentacles at Ansat, as he tried to dodge. As much as he tried, he was still slow as hell underwater. That was when Tiffany swam in at a blistering speed, and punched it in the forehead.
Ben stayed back, blasting the bot with his lasers. The water surrounding them were super hot, so the Spiketopus melted in a matter of minutes.
Everyone high fived, before they noticed a giant missile heading their way. Tiffany and Ben swam upwards, but the thing kept chasing Ansat. He tried to run away, but his breath gave out, and he stopped, choking on the water.
Then, the missile hit.
The resulting explosion was as big as a mansion, as Ansat was launched out of the water a very far distance upwards. He then hit the water in a belly flop.
When he woke up, he saw Tiffany, who was in the middle of pressing down on his stomach.
"I'm gonna have to give him mouth to mouth." she said. Then, she noticed that Ansat was awake.
Ansat got up, completely fine as usual.
"Well, since you're okay, do you know where that missile came from?" asked the lifeguard.
"Omelet." said Ansat.
"You mean that fat guy Sasha lives with?"
"That's the- wait how do you know?" said Ben.
"I had to work on a group project with her once."
"Weird." said Ansat.
"We gotta go back." said Ben.
"We can't, we'd have to swim back and it'd take a long time."
"Don't worry, boys. I have a trick up my sleeves." said Tiffany.
2 minutes later, the three were surfing through the waters.
"Wait, how is this possible? We're surfing against the waves!" said Ben.
"These are motor powered. Much cooler than speedboats!" said Tiffany.
"Excellent!" said the duo as they played their air guitars.
"You've gotta teach me how to do that someday!"
They reached the melted Spiketopus, when they leapt off of their boards and into the water.
"I think the missiles came from there!" said Ben, pointing North.
Ansat ran forwards, as Tiffany and Ben swam right past the speedster, as he groaned.
Eventually, they reached the sub.
"Come out, brunch-butt!" said Ansat. "We know you're there!"
Omelet was trying to hide under the control panel. Nobody was fooled. Ben started knocking on the front window screen thing.
"Let us in, Omelet!" he said. Omelet rose up from under the control panel, and stuck his tongue out at Ben. Ben stuck his tongue back out at Omelet.
Ansat and Sasha both facepalmed.
"Dorks." they both said.
Tiffany tapped Ansat on the shoulder, and pointed to a hatch at the top of the sub. They swam to the top, and opened the hatch. That led them to a room, with a control panel.
They tried to figure out what the panel was, when they both had a realization.
They were running out of air.
Tiffany and Ansat started panicking, when Ansat had the brilliant idea to punch the control panel. Luckily, that drained the water just as the two were about to drown.
"Huh. I guess punching things randomly does work." said Ansat.
They opened a hatch on the floor that led them to the main part of the sub. They landed right on top of Sasha.
Meanwhile, Omelet and Ben were still insulting each other.
"Egg-Themed Ignoramus!" said Ben.
"Orange wearing @$$hole!" said Omelet.
"Scrambled sh*thead!"
"Imbecilic inventor!"
"Mediocre mad scientist!"
Omelet gasped.
"You're dating that hippie inventor chick." he said.
"Shut up, you're dating that corporate inventor chick!" replied Ben.
"Take that back!"
"Omelet and Julia, sitting in a tree-"
"SHUT UP!"
While this childish bickering was going on, Ansat and Tiffany were fighting Sasha, who was putting up a pretty good fight. At some point, Ansat jumped onto Sasha's back, and started pounding on her head, triggering her laser eyes by accident, as she was blinking every time her head was hit. The laser that came out was too strong for her, as she fell over in recoil as the laser tore up the inside of the sub.
"Bald b*tch!" yelled Ben.
"Uhh... I have noth-"
Omelet lost his breath as the sub quickly filled up with water. The sub had been split in half, as the back half was drifting away from the front half. Ansat, Tiffany, and Ben swam up to the surface.
"I HATE that Half Brained Hedgehog!" yelled Omelet.
"Hey, didn't I have to do a group project with that chick once?" asked Sasha.
A day later, Ansat and Ben walked up to the lifeguard tower, where they saw Tiffany practicing her air guitar.
"Hey, how's it going, dudes?" she asked. "Ready to start your shift?"
"Yeah, about that..." said Ben.
"We quit." said Ansat.
"What?"
"It's not that this job sucks or anything, we're just too incompetent to do it." said Ansat.
"We're not CPR certified, neither do we have any form of training." said Ben.
"I guess that one was on me, but you guys are the only other guys that work here." said the lifeguard.
"Well, we could always get the Fr-"
No, NO!" said Ansat. "We're not getting the Friendship Squad here, they've been in too many episodes lately!"
"I guess they have been appearing a lot."
"Look, Tiff. You could just put up ads 'n stuff. I'll bet there's plenty of people who wanna do that stuff."
"That doesn't sound too bad of an idea." said Tiffany.
"And maybe actually train them." said Ben.
"Well, I guess I'll see you dudes around." said Tiffany.
"Catch ya later, Tiff!" said the duo in unison, as they left the tower.
And so, the two left the job, never to ruin the days of the beachgoers ever again.
A few days later later, they were back at the beach, holding some water balloons.
"Let's go splash some people." said Ansat, chuckling.
That was when they noticed a bunch of people in red board shorts running across the beach. Behind them all was Tiffany, holding a megaphone.
"Move it, guys, double time!" she yelled. She then noticed the two, and waved, before getting back to training the new recruits.
"Eh, maybe we should wait until training's done to prank these guys." said Ben.
"Wanna hit up Tony's?" asked Ansat.
"Okay!"
And so, they walked away, high fiving.
Episode 33: Ansat and Ben's Bogus Journey[]
Omelet and Julia were pissed off. Their plans had been foiled by Ansat and Ben for the 7th day in a row, and they were getting tired.
"Omelet, you bungling idiot, why don't your machines ever work?!" asked Julia.
"Why don't you ever help?! Ever since that episode you appeared in, you've barely helped out with anything!" asked Omelet.
"Don't sass me, I made the Eggbots!"
"That's the only thing you've ever worked on!"
"That's not true!"
"What do you mean?"
"I made a device last Monday."
"Really? Show me."
Julia led Omelet to what looked like a camera.
"I call it, the AI Maker!"
"What does it do?"
"Basically, we insert a photo of the person we want to clone, and then the artificial intelligence remakes them."
Julia inserted a photo of Ansat and Ben playing air guitar, as the AI Maker scanned them into existence. Their movement was sort of jittery, and they looked feminine.
"We'll call you both, AInsat and BAIn." said Julia.
The two played air guitar, the riff sounding slightly off.
"AInsat and BAIn, what is your mission?" asked Julia.
"Destroy Ansat and Ben!" they both said, their voices sounding off.
"Perfect..." said Omelet.
Meanwhile, Ansat and Ben were waiting by a microwave, waiting for their popcorn to pop.
Ben checked the clock on his phone.
"Scope the hour." he said.
"Right," said Ansat. "It's time for..."
"ROCK THE HOUSE!" they both said, air guitaring.
Ansat grabbed several boxes of pizza-dogs off of the counter, while Ben poured the popcorn into a bowl, while grabbing some nachos. They sat on the couch, as Aracute skittled over to join them.
Ansat turned on the TV, only for a loud blaring noise to fill everyone's ears.
"Storm warning?" asked Ben.
"Ah, whatever, we're safe here." said Ansat.
"Dude, we literally live in a treehouse, I don't think we're safe."
The storm warning went away, as some rock music started playing, as two guys on the TV started talking.
"What's up guys? I'm Jim!"
"And I'm Dave!"
"And this is..."
"ROCK THE HOUSE!"
They started air guitaring, leading Ansat and Ben to join in.
As the show went on, Jim and Dave started doing a bunch of skate challenges, as Ansat and Ben watched on.
Suddenly, the news came on.
"Breaking news!" said the newscaster. "Those weird ninja robots clad in green are back! They're currently attacking the skate park!"
"Dammit, this is the 8th time this week!" said Ansat.
"I'll set the VCR to record." said Ben, as he clicked the remote.
At the skate park, the Eggbots were busy attacking the skaters, as they tried to fend them off with their skateboards.
"Great, first that punk chick, now this." said a skater.
"At least there was only one punk!" said another one.
Suddenly, Ansat and Ben arrived.
"Don't worry dudes, we got this." said Ansat.
Suddenly, AInsat and BAIn arrived.
"Who're you guys?" asked Ben.
"We're you, from the future! Martin sent us to help you!" said BAIn.
"Excellent!" said Ansat.
And so, AInsat and BAIn aides in the fight against the Eggbots. Ansat and Ben were thoroughly creeped out.
"They move pretty weirdly." said Ansat, who was bashing two bots' heads together.
"It's like they're robots!" said Ben, who was shooting one in the face with a laser gun.
"No way, the robots move more accurately!" said a random skater.
Eventually, all the Eggbots were defeated. Everyone cheered.
"Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all day!" said Ansat.
"Actually, dude, we need you to come with us." said AInsat.
"Ashley's in trouble, it's an emergency." said BAIn.
"We're there, dude." said Ben.
The two fake wizards led the two real ones to Shiverchill Mountains. They ran up the highest mountain, and stood at the top, the other side having a very spooky looking cliff.
"Ashley fell off the cliff?" asked Ansat.
"No, no. You're just going to die." said AInsat.
"What?" asked Ben.
"We're going to kill you." said BAIn.
"Like hell you are!" said Ansat and Ben in unison. Unfortunately, they were standing too close to the cliff. They fell off, but their AI duplicates grabbed them by the arms.
"Any last words, dudes?" asked AInsat.
Ansat and Ben pondered the thought.
"You two are pretty cool!" said the two in sync.
"Wimps!" said the AI duo.
And suddenly, they were falling to the ground.
"Remember, dude! Rolling absorbs the fall!" said Ansat.
"I don't think that'll work from this height, but it's worth a shot!" replied Ben.
And so, before they hit the ground, they both rolled on contact, somehow surviving.
"Whoa! Science has failed me!" said Ben, excited.
"Awesome!" said Ansat, as the two air guitared.
On the peak, AInsat and BAIn weren't happy.
"Those slow-mo's aren't dead?" asked AInsat.
BAIn pulled out a laser gun, but instead of firing it, he threw it at Ben's head. AInsat did the same, but with a can of knockoff Chef Tony's. The only difference was that the writing looked like a bunch of squares.
The gun and can of soup hit the two, knocking all of their cash out of them. Before they could pick it up, a laser AK-47 and a dagger hit the two, knocking them out.
Then, as a final sign of disrespect, the AI duo spat onto the two.
At the tower, Omelet and Julia laughed evilly.
"Julia, your plan actually worked!" said Omelet.
"Yes! Now there's no more idiots left to fool our plans, except for maybe that one kid with the welding mask." said Julia.
"Now we can rule Prodigia!"
They both started laughing even harder.
Meanwhile, Ansat and Ben were standing up, their color drained. They were staring at their bodies.
"Dude, this sucks." said Ansat.
"'This sucks' is an understatement." said Ben.
"If we're dead, this mean the show's over?"
Ben facepalmed.
Suddenly, they heard a clap of thunder. They looked up, the sky wasn't even cloudy.
"Ahem." said a dark voice.
The duo turned around, and saw a dark figure wearing black robes.
"THE GRIM REAPER!!" said the two.
"Ready to go to the afterlife?" he asked.
"One sec, dude." said Ansat. He pulled Ben aside.
"How do we get outta here?" said the inventor.
"We could wedgie him." replied Ansat.
"How? His robes are in the way."
"Good point."
Ansat turned to the reaper.
"Hey, Mr. Reaper dude!" he said. "What's your real name?"
"Do you promise not to tell anyone?"
"Yeah, sure."
The reaper pulled down his hood, revealing a dark skinned teen with slicked back black hair.
"It's Danny. My dad's on vacation, and I basically have all of his powers, so he left me in charge."
"Hmm. Cool." said Ben. "Did you also know that it's gonna rain?"
The reaper looked up, only for Ansat to give him a swift kick to the groin. As the Grim Reaper clutched his balls in pain, Ansat and Ben ran off.
"What should we do now?" asked Ben.
"Let's hit up Ashley. Maybe she did a story on ghosts." said Ansat.
"That makes no sense, but hey, you're the boss."
Meanwhile, AInsat and BAIn were at Ashley's penthouse. They were talking to Ashley.
And by talking, I mean trying to carry her out of the room so that they could drop her off the balcony.
"Let me go, guys!" said the faux reporter.
"No way, dude!" said AInsat.
Suddenly, Ash's aunt Mel walked into the room.
"Anything I can do for-"
She stopped as she saw AInsat carrying Ashley over his shoulder.
"What's going on here?!"
"We're trying to lynch your niece, dude!" said BAIn.
"WHAT?!"
AInsat held Ashley up over his head, before throwing her at Mel, knocking them both out of Ashley's room.
Mel got up, and got into a fighting stance.
Right on cue, Ansat and Ben showed up.
"Wait, Mel, don't!" said Ben.
"Those aren't us, they're evil clones!" yelled Ansat.
However, nobody heard them.
Somehow, Mel managed to get both AInsat and BAIn in an armlock, before kicking them out of the living room, and into the elevator, as the doors closed. She then turned to Ashley, who was on the ground.
"You really have to find new friends." she said to the faux reporter, as she walked away.
"That was awesome, but also bogus." said Ben.
"Gee, what could've tipped you off?" asked Ansat. "Should we follow them?"
"Well, duh, but we gotta get back to life first."
"Well, you're dead, so who can we get to revive us?"
Ben thought about it, as a lightbulb appeared above his head.
"Weird, where'd that lightbulb come from?" asked Ashley, who was still on the ground.
At the Friendship Squad's clubhouse, Ramona was showing everyone her newest inventon.
"I call it, the Ghost Duster." she said, holding up what looked like a vacuum cleaner.
"What does it do?" asked Ariel.
"It vacuums ghosts and sends them to hell."
"What if the ghost's a good person?" asked Petunia, who was drawing on her tablet.
"Um, I haven't worked that part out yet. Let's just turn it on."
Ramona turned on the Ghost Duster, which was just as Ansat and Ben had phased through the walls.
"This is Mode 1. It attracts the ghost slightly by tapping into its plane of existence." she said.
"Hey, do you feel a pull?" asked Ansat.
"Did you not hear what Ramona said?" replied Ben.
"I tend to tune out Nerdzilla whenever she says anything."
"I hear noises!" said Tess, who was in the middle of doing push ups.
"Hey! Hippies!" yelled Ansat.
"There's evil clones of us running around causing trouble!" yelled Ben.
"Bring us back to life!" they both said in unison.
To them, they sounded clear. However, to the Friendship Squad, they sounded distorted.
"I think these guys are evil." said Petunia.
"Well, that brings us to Mode 2." said Ramona. She turned the vacuum up a level. Ansat and Ben were being pulled into the vacuum.
"Bail!" said Ansat. He started running as Ben started flying. However, they weren't moving because the pull was equal to their speed.
"This isn't funny, guys!" said Ansat.
"Alright, time for Mode 3!" said Ramona.
Ansat and Ben went Extreme Speed. However, the vacuum got increasingly stronger, as the two got sucked in.
A light flickered on the Ghost Duster, signifying that the ghost had been caught.
"And now, we dispose of the ghost by pressing this red button." said Ramona.
Ansat and Ben, meanwhile, were sitting in a dark room, before the floor suddenly opened up, as they fell into a red, fiery pit.
Meanwhile, AInsat and BAIn were busy wreaking havoc.
BAIn threw a frog at AInsat, as he swung his baseball bat at it. He missed.
"Strike one!" said BAIn.
He swung again.
"Strike two!"
He swung again.
"Strike thr-"
BAIn had a baseball bat lodged into the back of his head. They both started laughing as BAIn plucked the baseball bat from the back of his head.
AInsat threw the frog up into the air, and hit it with his bat, sending it flying into a nearby tree.
AInsat and BAIn high fived, as they left for Lamplight to go cause fore mischief.
Meanwhile, Ansat and Ben were sitting on a platform in the middle of a lava pit.
"How hot is it?" asked Ben.
"Stick your hand in and find out." snarked Ansat.
Ben did stick his hand in, and pulled it out all fiery and burnt.
"Pretty hot." he said.
"Ben, sometimes you're pretty stupid." said Ansat.
"I think being in Hell fried my brain."
The platform drifted to an island. The island was inhabited by other demons, and guess who they were talking to?
Liam Gigadrain.
Remember him?
"Hey, it's that dweeb Liam!" said Ansat.
All the demons turned to Ansat and Ben.
Liam walked up to them, his regular clothes replaced by a red robe. He had horns growing out of his head, and a sinister smile.
"Hello, Ansatsu. Hello, Benjamin." he said.
"How's it going, cult dude?" the two asked.
The demons were confused.
"Friends, I really should explain." said Liam. "You see, back when I was alive, my friend Emma and I started a cult. They worshipped me, and drank Emma's blood. And then, Benjamin here killed me. He'll wish he didn't though, since I'm now the devil's right hand man!"
"Bogus!" said Ansat and Ben.
"Get them!" yelled Liam. The demons rushed at the two.
"So, we kick their butts?" asked Ben.
"Yeah!" said Ansat.
"JUST LIKE DREAD!" they both yelled.
"I hate Dread." said one demon. "It glorifies killing off an entire species."
"Yeah, it seems sort of racist." said another demon.
They both had their heads bashed together by Ansat, while Ben shot some of the others.
The fighting went on until Liam got a call.
"Hello, boss." said Liam. "You're gonna be late? Too busy damming someone else to their hell? I get to send them?! OH BOY!"
"HOLD THEM!"
The demons held Ansat and Ben in armlock, as Liam walked over to them.
"Now, you'll be sent to the worst place imaginable!" he said.
"Class?" asked Ansat.
"No."
"Hell?" asked Ben.
"You're already in hell, you moron!"
"The heat's frying my brain."
Suddenly, the Grim Reaper teleported in, and bonked Liam on the head with his scythe.
"If you want to live, come with me." he said.
"We're already dead, dude." said Ansat.
"Whatever, just come on."
The reaper grabbed the two, and teleported them to a dark looking mansion. He and Ansat sat at a table, with Ben watching.
"Whoa, nice mansion, Danny!" said Ansat.
"Now, to decide your fate, we must play chess." said Danny.
"But how do we do it if we don't know how to really play?" asked Ansat.
"...oh. Well, I have a Nega Exodus, we could always decide your fate in Dethbed."
Ansat grinned evilly.
The three went to Danny's room. It was adorned with metal posters, and there were clothes strewn everywhere, soda cans on the nightstand and a TV on the dresser, with a Nega Exodus under it.
"Let's rock and roll!" said Ansat.
Ansat picked the shirtless karate guy as Danny picked the long haired road warrior.
It was over in 40 seconds.
"It seems that not even death can stop me from kicking @$$ and taking names!" said Ansat.
"You didn't beat me!" said Danny. "Let's go again!"
And so, Danny lost, even though he used every character on the roster at least once.
"Give it up, Danny, you lost. Bring us back to life." said Ben.
"Fine, fine." said Danny. He grabbed Ansat and Ben by the shirts as he teleported them back to their bodies.
"Eesh, I think a bug was trying to eat my arm." said Ben.
"My skull feels slightly pecked." said Ansat.
And so, they left Shiverchill.
When they got back to Lamplight, there were Eggbots running around, beating people up and robbing stores. AInsat and BAIn were busy harming people's horses and causing collateral damage.
"We die for two seconds and this happens?" snarked Ansat.
"Where the hell was Connor?" asked Ben.
Suddenly, the AI duo spotted the two real wizards.
"You dweebs!" said AInsat.
"Yeah, we're back, dude!" said Ben.
Both parties stared each other down.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Omelet appeared, sitting in a floating throne.
"I didn't expect for you to be alive!" said the mad inventor.
"Omelet!" said Ben.
"What a surprise." snarked Ansat.
"You're mincemeat, morons!" said Omelet, as his throne started firing a laser from the bottom. It started piercing the ground, as the laser glowed a rainbow color.
"Uh oh!" said Ben.
"BAIL!" they both said, as they ran away.
"Get them!" ordered Omelet, as AInsat and BAIn ran after them.
They ran through Lamplight as this music started playing.
Ansat and Ben tried to shake off their AI counterparts, to no avail. AInsat went Extreme Speed as he tried to ram into Ansat. Ansat jumped over him, before turning into an alleyway with Ben, as their counterparts followed them.
Ben flew upwards onto the rooftops, bringing Ansat with him, as BAIn flew after him, bringing AInsat.
On the rooftops, Ansat leapt across roofs, his momentum ensuring that he could clear the larger gaps. Ben decided to fly next to him, just to be safe.
In a burst of speed, AInsat and BAIn sped up to them, almost tailgating them. Everyone was jumping across rooftops, and stuff like that. Ansat looked behind him, only to spot Omelet, still chasing them.
"Lay off, Frittata Fiend!" yelled Ansat.
"Make me!" replied Omelet.
Suddenly, AInsat boosted forwards at Ansat, BAIn doing the same with Ben.
The two idiots leapt up, and landed on them. They fell to the ground, before bouncing back up into the air. Ansat and Ben then jumped into the air and kicked them away, sending them tumbling off of the rooftops, and onto the ground.
Ansat and Ben high fived, as Omelet got pissed.
"No matter! I can still kill you right here!" he yelled.
The floating throne flew closer and closer to Ansat and Ben, when Omelet felt a tap on the shoulder. He turned around to find the Grim Reaper tapping on his shoulder.
"AAH! THE GRIM REAPER! TAKE THE AI CLONES, NOT ME!" he screamed in a panic. He turned off the laser and flew his throne back to his tower in an instant.
The Grim Reaper took off his hood, revealing himself to be Danny.
"Thanks, dude!" said Ansat.
"Just remember, you owe me one." said Danny.
"Wanna go out for pizza-dogs?" asked Ben.
"OKAY!"
Later that day, Ansat and Ben were watching TV at the treehouse with Ashley.
"So you're telling me that Omelet made AI clones of you that killed you, so after kicking the son of the Grim Reaper in the balls, you ran around as ghosts, before getting sent to Hell by one of Ramona's inventions, you met that cult guy there, then beat the Grim Reaper's son in Dethbed to escape?" she asked.
"Yep." said Ben.
"The AI part sounds plausible, but the rest of the story sounds fake."
Suddenly, Danny, in full reaper gear, climbed up the ladder to the treehouse.
"You got room for one more on that couch?" he asked.
"Sure, Danny." said Ansat. "Ash, move over so that the Grim Reaper's son can sit."
Ashley looked at the fourth wall and shrugged.
"I guess I should've expected that." she said.
Episode 34: Bounty Hunter Baddie[]
Omelet was standing on a stage, talking into a microphone. Watching him were a bunch of fierce warriors.
"Hello, bounty hunters!" he said. "Are you ready to earn some serious money?!"
Everyone cheered.
"This is the person I want you to capture!"
On a TV screen behind Omelet flashed a picture of Ansat.
"This is Ansat Lightningheart, a rebellious teenager who's always foiling my plans with his super speed and hedgehog-like abilities!" yelled the mad inventor. "Don't let his adolescent appearance fool you, he's been foiling my plans for at least 25 episodes at this point!"
Everyone murmured among themselves.
"The first person to capture Ansat, and bring him to my dungeon will receive 5 million gold!"
Meanwhile, Ansat was spraying paint on a building, when a blast of fire struck him in the back of the head.
"What the hell?" he asked. He turned around and saw a man in red dragon armor.
"Ansat, I've been sent to apprehend you and bring you to Omelet Scramblebrains!" he said.
"Uh, okay?" asked Ansat. He went back to spraying paint, when he got struck again.
"You will halt, in the name of Flamer!" said the man.
"Flamer? What kind of nerd name is that?"
"Shut up!"
Flamer kept firing blasts of fire from his hands at Ansat, who kept dodging. Then, Ansat got out a water balloon.
"Alright, pally, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The choice is yours." he said.
Flamer started laughing hysterically.
"You're gonna pelt me, the almighty Flamer with water balloons?"
"Yeah."
Flamer started laughing louder. He kept laughing until he was hit smack in the face with a water balloon. Usually, it wouldn't have hurt, but it was thrown with such speed and power that it had to have hurt.
And boy, did it.
Flamer started screeching in pain, as Ansat started laughing at him.
"Well well well, it looks like the 'Almighty Flamer' got his @$$ kicked by a water balloon! Who's the loser now?"
"SHUT UP!"
Ansat kept pelting Flamer with balloons until he fell over on the ground, and started crying.
"Eesh, this is just embarrassing." said Ansat, as he walked away.
The next day, Ansat was hanging out with Ben. Ansat was throwing glass cups at Ben, as he kept shooting them with his laser guns.
"This is cool and all, but where did you get these cups from?" asked Ben.
"The new glassware store." replied Ansat.
"Ansat, you goober."
Just then, they were hit by a ruler.
"Insolent youth!" said a female voice.
"Who uses the word insolent anymore?" asked Ben.
"Theater geeks?" asked Ansat.
"It is I, Denise Icefoot, president of HAD."
"HAD?" asked Ansat and Ben in unison.
"Humans Against Delinquency." replied Denise.
"Oh, you're from that group of soccer moms who came to the Academy last week for the presentation on banning stuff you don't like." said Ben.
"Yes- I mean, no, the stuff we wanted to ban were very important. Anyways, I'm not a bounty hunter, but once I heard of the opportunity to stop one of the biggest delinquents in Prodigia, I just had to jump at the chance!"
"Lame!"
Ansat walked away, until he got a ruler to the head.
"You will look at me when I'm talking to you!" yelled Denise.
Ansat kept his back turned. Denise ran at him with yet another ruler.
"Where does she keep getting those from?" asked Ben.
She was about to catch him, when she suddenly phased through him, and fell onto the ground. Then, the real Ansat appeared out of nowhere, and grabbed her legs. Ben saw his cue, and grabbed her arms, as they threw her into a video game store.
Denise started screaming as she saw all of the M-rated video games.
Ansat and Ben fist bumped, as they walked away.
The next day, Ansat was hanging out by a dumpster, when he was hit in the head by a metal pipe.
He clutched his head in pain, as he looked up to see a dude in a welding mask.
"Connor?!" he asked.
"Yeah, criminal scum!" replied the vigilante. "I've come to collect my bounty!"
"Connor, what the f*ck? We're pals, you can't just switch to beating me up just because you'll get paid!"
"Why not?"
"Because that's not what pals do, dude. You don't see me calling the cops for every time you beat up criminals, do ya?"
"Well, I guess not."
"So you can't just beat me up for some random bounty, dude!"
"I guess that's a good point."
And so, Conner left.
Day after day, bounty hunters kept coming after Ansat, and it was pissing him off. It was also pissing Omelet off, too.
"DUMMIES DUMMIES DUMMIES DUMMIES DUMMIES!" he yelled into the microphone. "YOU MORONS CAN'T CATCH A SINGLE TEENAGER?!"
The crowd of bounty hunters, who were brutally injured, fell silent.
Just then, everyone heard a low humming sound. Then, the sound got louder, and louder, until a green light filled the crevices in the doorways.
Then, a person in a motorcycle helmet and full body armor entered the room.
"Am I late?" They asked.
"No, not at all." said Omelet.
"I'm Xeroshen, from the planet Yeven. Rest assured, I can take care of your problem." They said.
"Yes, but what makes you different from all the other morons I hired?"
"I'm equipped with vast alien technology that no regular wizard has ever seen."
"Oh yeah? You're hired. Just don't screw this up."
An hour later, Ansat was walking down the street, drinking a slushy.
"There's nothing better than drinking an extra large Mondo-Freeze." he said to himself.
Just then, the cup was blasted out of his hand.
"HEY!"
He turned to his right, and saw a person in a motorcycle helmet and full body armor.
"Oh great, another bounty hunter."
Xeroshen charged at him, only for Ansat to jump out of the way, and try to kick them.
The kick phased through.
Then, a blast came from behind Ansat, only for it to phase through. This happened for a while, until Ansat got bored. He flopped down on the ground, and just lounged there.
That was when Xeroshen pulled out a laser sword, and tried to slice him. Ansat kept dodging, before he crouched down, and started rolling in a ball, with a storm aura coating him, forming a razor sharp pseudo blade on top of that.
He rolled at the bounty hunter, and struck them in the chest.
Xeroshen was probably mad, their face wasn't visible. They pulled out a laser gun, and shot at him. Ansat ran away, but the blast kept following him. Eventually, the blast caught up to him, and stunned him, so he couldn't move.
Then, the bounty hunter charged up a lot of energy, as their suit started cracking apart. The hunter fired a large blast of blue energy at Ansat, as he took the hit full force.
Ansat laid on the ground, totally defeated. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was Xeroshen, except they were a girl his age, with black hair, and a tight black suit.
"Bogus..." he said.
Hours later, he woke up in a jail cell.
"Hey, I recognize this joint from episode 4!" he said. "All I need is a water balloon!"
He pulled out some water balloons, and kept pelting the walls, but nothing happened.
"It won't work. The walls are reinforced, you can't pull that stunt." said Xeroshen. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go."
"Go do what?"
"Well, I'm gonna go collect my money from Omelet."
"You do know that that dude is evil, right?"
"Yeah, and?"
"I mean, come on, you're working for a crazy bald villain dude."
"What's your point? I get paid good money for this sh*t."
"What if he wanted to do something totally bogus?"
"Look, I don't care. I just need the money."
"I need money too, and yet I'm not working for Mr. Hard Boiled Bastard."
"You wouldn't get it..."
"Get what?"
"Look, my parents are astronauts. On my sixth birthday, they took me on a space expedition, because I was also really into space 'n stuff. We were supposed to go to the moon, but a UFO shot us off course, towards an alien planet called Yeven. My parents died but I somehow survived."
Ansat noticed Xeroshen tearing up. He would've wiped her tears if it wasn't for the fact that he was behind 10 feet thick bars of steel.
"Luckily, the Yevenians were pretty nice. They raised me as their own, even though they had a bunch of weird alien features I didn't. They trained me in combat, and gave me all this weird space stuff, but then, they were almost wiped out by an enemy race. I need the money to buy materials to help them thrive again."
"Major drag." replied Ansat. "I get that you need the money, but couldn't you have gotten a job or something?"
"I've been raised by aliens all my life, do you really expect for me to have the skills required to hold down a regular job?"
"You could be a military instructor!"
"Forget it, I knew you wouldn't understand."
And so, Xeroshen walked off to get her reward.
In the auditorium, Omelet was speaking into a microphone.
"And for performing the brilliant feat of catching that pesky attention deficit @$$hole, I will give the bounty huntress known as Xeroshen 5 million gold!" he said.
Omelet gave a large bag to Xeroshen. She looked inside, the money was legit.
"Would you care to join my team of evil rotten villains?" asked the mad inventor. "With your help, we can conquer not just this planet, but others as well! I've heard of this one planet, called Yeven. We can blow it up, and enslave the locals!"
Xeroshen looked very uneasy.
"I'll think about it." she said, as she walked off stage.
"The rest of you, GET OUT OF MY F*CKING SIGHT! GET OUT!"
The bounty huntress stopped by Ansat's cell. She pulled out her laser sword, and chopped open the bars.
"Hey, thanks!" said Ansat. "But why'd you do it? I thought I didn't understand anything."
"I realized how bad Omelet is when he said that he wanted to blow up Yeven and enslave their people."
"Gee, so you won't care if he's trying to capture a random teenager who's trying to stop him from taking over the world, but you will care if he's trying to blow up your planet?"
Xeroshen nodded.
"You're either a sociopath, or a hypocrite."
"Shut up, let's just focus on thrashing that egg bellied bully."
"Fine."
They ran into the auditorium, when Omelet spotted them.
"Hey! Why's the idiot out of his cell?!" he asked.
"Because I do what I want." said Xeroshen.
She shot Omelet with her stun gun, as Ansat charged at him, and kicked him in the face. Xeroshen pulled out a different laser gun, that fired Astral magic at Omelet, hurting him way more than it would anyone else.
"Huh." said Ansat. "I forgot about that."
Ansat revved up as he blasted towards Omelet, and curled up into a ball, and pinballed off of his head, and back towards Xeroshen. She pulled out a bracelet, and before Ansat could reach her, she tapped the bracelet, as it created a bumped shield. Ansat pinballed off of the shield, and back towards Omelet.
As Ansat kept flying back and forth, Xeroshen walked even closer to Omelet, which made Ansat hit him more frequently and harder. Eventually, Ansat went so fast that he disappeared.
A minute later, Ansat reappeared, and stopped flying back and forth, as he looked at Omelet. He was really battered.
"Message received..." he said.
"C'mon, Xeroshen, we're checking outta this dump." said Ansat.
Outside of Omelet's tower was Xeroshen's spaceship, which was a boomerang shaped UFO.
"Well, it's been real, but I gotta hit the space road now." said the bounty huntress.
"Ah, can't I come with you? It beats going to school." said Ansat.
"Sorry, but I don't think it'll be very safe. Something about that smirk and that blue streak makes you look like food to those alien guys."
"Fine."
Before Xeroshen could board her ship, she gave him a fist bump.
And then, she left.
The next day, Ansat and Ben were watching TV.
Just then, there was a green glow, as a warping sound was heard.
Ansat looked outside, and saw a package.
He took it inside and opened it, to find a postcard from Xeroshen, as well as...
"Intergalactic pizza-dogs!" he said.
The pizza itself had purple cheese, as well as extra thick red dough, with stuffed crust. The hot dog looked normal, but the chili on top looked green, and somewhat slimy.
He and Ben shrugged, before digging in. They felt an electric shock of weird flavor.
"Excellent!" they both said, as they continued eating.
Episode 35: The Sacrifice[]
Ben was packing his stuff, while Ansat was watching PTV.
"You sure you're gonna be alright without me for a week?" asked Ben.
"I should really be asking you that, but yeah." said Ansat. "Now go enjoy yourself with your girlfriend at that lame robotics competition."
"She's not my girlfriend!"
Ben's face was red like a beet.
"Yeah, yeah, just go win that contest or something."
And so, Ben flew out of the treehouse, leaving Ansat alone.
"This sucks." said the speedster, after 3 seconds. "I'm bored, what should I do?"
Then, it hit him.
"ASHLEY'S PLACE!"
A minute later, Ansat and Ashley were watching TV at the latter's penthouse apartment.
"Martha's son, Gary-Stu claims that he knew of his mother's abuse, but didn't think anything of it since he was the favorite, and never received any abuse." said a newscaster.
"That's just sad. What do you think, Ansat?" asked Ashley.
Ansat didn't care, he was munching on a pizza-dog.
"Ansat!"
"What? Keystone made pizza-dogs are awesome!"
"How do you still have that, that was a week ago."
"I have a minifridge, remember?"
Just then, Jenna walked in.
"Ashley, leave!" she yelled.
"Why?" asked Ashley.
"Because... uh... I can't think of a reason, just leave!"
"Or else what?"
"Or else I'll show Melanie these photos."
In Jenna's hands were photos of a seriously raging party.
"Hey, didn't you also throw that party?" asked Ansat.
"Yeah, but I'm not in any of the photos." replied Jenna.
And so, Ansat and Ashley walked back to the treehouse.
"Xeroshen sent us a satellite, so we have free cable from all over the galaxy." said Ansat.
"Wow, she still sends you stuff?" asked Ashley.
"Yeah."
As Ansat climbed up the ladder, he saw a bunch of monsters partying in the treehouse. In the center of all of it all was Aracute, wearing sunglasses.
"Dude, what the f*ck?" asked Ansat.
The loud music stopped, as all the monsters turned to Ansat.
"Dawg, why is there a bunch of monsters in my treehouse?"
Aracute hissed.
"I was at Ashley's penthouse for 10 minutes!"
Hiss.
"Can I at least get a pizza-dog?"
Every monster in the treehouse of fired elemental attacks at Ansat, sending him flying off of the ladder, and at Ashley's feet, knocking her over.
"So, wanna go shopping?" asked Ashley.
"Eh, sure." replied Ansat.
And so, the two went to Lamplight Town.
Meanwhile, two cloaked figures were hiding in the shadows.
"Hey, it's her!" one of them said.
"Unfortunately, she has someone with her."
"We can take him!"
And so, they jumped out of the shadows, and tried to run towards Ashley.
Ashley spotted them, and backed away, as Ansat stuck out his foot, and tripped them both.
Ansat laughed.
"Oh man, you guys suck!" he said.
The two cloaked figures got up, and snarled.
"You will regret messing with the church of-"
"Emma Waterbolt?" asked Ansat and Ashley.
"What? Who the f*ck is that?" asked one of them.
"Wait, this isn't another cult episode?" asked Ansat.
"No!"
"Look, we need that girl you have with you for our boss."
"No way, dude." said Ansat.
"Give us to her!" Said the other one.
They started walking up to Ashley, and Ansat was about to step in, when suddenly, there was a flash.
The two cloaked goons were defeated. Behind them was a dude around their age, but he was kinda tall, had wavy black hair, pale skin, a red flannel shirt with rolled up sleeves, and black pants held up by a brown belt.
"Don't worry, m'lady, I've stopped them." he said.
Ansat started laughing.
"M'lady? What is this, the middle ages?" he said.
Ashley, on the other hand, was blushing.
"Er, uh, thanks." she said, looking into the guy's eyes.
"My name is Remnant Snowfang. I've seen you around in the Academy before." said the man.
"Well, Remnant, I'm Ashley." replied... well, Ashley.
"Would you like to join me for dinner?"
"Uh, okay..."
And so, Ashley walked off with Remnant, leaving Ansat confused.
"Wait, what?"
Half an hour later, Ansat was bumming around the alleyways with Conner.
"...and he just swooped in and took those dudes out. Suddenly, Ash just fell in love with him." said Ansat. "I mean, good for her, but something seems off about that Remy dude."
"Maybe he was a vampire." said Connor.
Ansat was confused.
"The f*ck do you mean?"
"Vampires love to flirt with wizards, and bite their necks to steal their blood."
"No way."
"I'll show you."
Connor took off his welding mask in order to show his neck better. Lo and behold, there was a bite mark on his neck.
Ansat wasn't focused on that, though.
"Dude, I never realized how good you look with your welding mask off." he said, before chuckling stupidly.
"Really?" replied Connor.
"Yeah."
Their eyes locked for a long time. Just then, Connor noticed a criminal, and ran off, as Ansat's concentration broke, and he fell face first on the ground.
That night, Ashley and Remnant were walking to a restaurant.
"So... tell me about yourself." said Remnant.
"Well, I live with my aunt, who's the live in nanny for a rich couple's kid. It seems like the plot to a sitcom." replied Ashley.
"Well, I think it's charming."
"What about you?"
"I come from a long line of va- uh, treasure hunters."
"Really? Cool! Maybe you'll have to show me some of them sometime."
And so, they got to the restaurant.
The rest of the night went smoothly.
The next day, Ansat was sweeping up the inside of the treehouse.
"Seriously, dude, you couldn't even save me some nachos or something?" asked Ansat. Aracute just stuck his tongue out, and went to sleep.
Just then, Ashley climbed into the treehouse.
"Oh my God, Ansat, Remnant is amazing!" she said.
"And?" asked the speedster, uncaring.
"He's such a a gentleman! You two would be good friends."
"No we wouldn't, he's a vampire!"
Ashley stared at him with a deadpan expression.
"And what is your incredulous source?"
"Connor."
"Right, the guy who hangs out in an alleyway all day."
Just then, it hit Ansat.
"Great. Now I'm back to being an idiot instead of the witty guy. I need to get my characterization straight."
"Anyways, I guess since the place is clean, we could watch some TV, or play videogames, or something?"
"That works."
However, unbeknownst to them, Remnant was watching through the window. He grabbed his phone.
"They're onto me, I need to get that boy out of the way, quick."
And then, he floated down.
The next day, Ansat was walking through the hallways of the Academy, when suddenly, he felt someone grab the back of his neck.
It was a tall, pale skinned girl in a red dress, and she was staring at him seductively.
"Hello, Ansat." she said. "I've heard of your exploits, and I have to say that I'm a... huge fan."
"Well," replied Ansat, trying to play it cool. "I am a pretty cool guy."
"Do you wanna go make out in the Janitor's closet?"
"Hell yeah, dude."
Ansat started air guitaring as he followed the girl to the closet.
"Close your eyes." she said.
But the second Ansat did so, he felt a sharp stab in his neck.
Ansat immediately opened his eyes.
"Hey, we can't go above PG-13! Rate limit, dude!"
But the vampire chick wasn't the only one in the room. Remnant was also there, too.
"Remy?" Asked Ansat.
"Shut up, it's Remnant!" replied Remy. "And anyways, we needed your blood for our ultimate project!"
"What is the ultimate project?"
Silence.
"Do you really think I'm going to tell our ultimate project to some rando? You have got to be kidding me."
The vampire girl spoke up.
"Can we hurry this scene up, I have a date with that handsome guy in the welding mask. I've had a thirst for his blood."
"Oh crap, Connor wasn't lying when he said he got bitten by a vampire." said Ansat.
"Wait, how did you-"
"You guys are way too pale, I can see your fangs from this angle, and one of you just bit my neck."
"Well... uh..."
Remnant struggled to say something.
"I'm locking you in here!"
And so, Ansat was tied up, as Remnant and the other vampire left.
As they left, Remnant called Ashley.
"Hey, babe, do you wanna come over to my house after school?"
After school, Ashley was standing in front of a huge mansion.
"I guess this is the place."
She knocked on the door, and Remnant answered it.
"Why, hello, Ashley." he said. "Welcome to my humble abode."
"Thanks, Remnant."
As Ashley walked inside, she spotted paintings on the walls of other pale skinned dudes. Of course, that was after she saw the amount of other people in there.
"Everyone, Ashley is here!" he said. Everyone started cheering.
"I don't get it, what's going on?" she asked.
"You'll see."
And so, Ashley was taken to a random room in the house. However, this room wasn't as random at first glance.
There were stasis chambers of other wizards, who had their blood and magic being drained from them. They were all teenage girls.
Ashley, of course, was freaked out.
"Uh, please tell me these are leftover Pumpkinfest decorations." she said.
"I'm afraid not," Remnant chuckled. "You see, we vampires have been hiding out from humans and wizards for years, ready to get our revenge. However, we were not purely magical beings, and so we needed to gain that magic from beings who were."
"I really don't like where this is going."
"As I am one of the more handsome vampires, I have been luring in beautiful girls like you for ages, trying to lure them into our trap, and now, you will be the very next, and hopefully final key to us attaining true magic pow- what're you doing?"
Ashley was recording him with her camera.
"I'm sorry, what was that? Speak up, the camera can't hear you." she said, sarcastically.
"You little b*tch!"
He kicked Ashley in the stomach, causing her to fall to the ground. Just then, he grabbed a few wires from the ceiling, and stuck them into her arms.
"I was gonna make this easy, but your impudence has forced me to make this as painful as possible!"
"Really? How painful can it-"
Ashley they started screaming in pain as her blood was slowly drained.
Just then, Remnant heard screaming from another room.
It was Ansat.
"Hey, didn't I see this scene in a movie once?" asked the speedster. "Which one of you goons is Frank 'n Furter?"
"Who the hell are you, kid?" asked a vampire.
"Ansat? I beat up Omelet on a regular basis? Fastest thing alive? Hello?"
Remnant stormed out to the entrance to see what was going on.
"You." he said. "How did you escape?"
Ansat leapt up, curled into a ball, and started spinning as a storm buzzsaw formes around him.
"Quad spin."
"Get him!"
Ansat thought this would be a cakewalk, when he was pelted by a barrage of Ice attacks, knocking him down really quickly.
Remnant walked up to him.
"Are you ready to join your friend, Ashley?"
"Wait, Ashley's here?"
"Yeah, and she's being drained of her blood as we speak."
"Look, if I'm being honest, I just wanted to kick your @$$ for locking me in that closet, but now it's, like, personal."
Ansat got up. Unfortunately for him, this time, he was majorly outnumbered, and outclassed.
"Watch, I'll just pull a new move out of my @$$." he said.
But nothing happened.
"Damn..."
And so, Ansat was overpowered, and thrown into the same room as Ashley.
"Unfortunately for you, there's only room for one, but I'll be back soon to drain your blood." said Remnant. Then, he walked out of the room.
"Boy, what an idiot." said Ansat. Just then, he turned around to see Ashley, who was struggling to escape, but looked really weak.
"Now how do I get you outta here?"
Ansat started closely at Ashley's arms. The wires had some sort of nozzle sticking into them. On said nozzles were levers.
Ansat flicked the small levers, and all of Ashley's blood came back. As soon as Ansat unhooked her, she hugged him.
"Oh my God, thank you, Ansat. I could kiss you right now!" she said.
Awkward silence.
"So, uh, how do we get outta here? If you were thrown in here, I obviously don't stand a chance."
"I'm sure something plot relevant will happen."
Just then, in the corner of the room, Ansat spotted an electric guitar, and a pair of visor sunglasses which kinda looked like Cyclops' from X-Men.
"I just got the coolest idea ever."
Out in the main hall, everyone was partying and stuff, when suddenly...
"Are you losers ready to rock?!"
Everyone turned towards Ansat, who was wearing the sunglasses and holding the guitar, which had a bunch of amps plugged into it.
"Hey, isn't that your old guitar from when you wanted to become a rockstar?" asked one of the vampires, who turned towards Remnant.
Remnant started blushing.
"Uh, no!"
Ansat turned around to face Ashley.
"It's rolling." she said, as she recorded him.
Just then, Ansat started shredding the guitar, causing a barrage of sound to hit the vampires. They all tried to bum rush Ansat, but were blown away, literally.
Just then, a bunch of girls ran out, the noise waves having shattered their stasis chambers. The vampires were even weaker now, as they struggled to fight back.
One 3 minute song later, and the vampires had been defeated by the power of rock and roll.
"That was cool!" said Ansat.
Ashley walked over to Remnant, who was on the ground.
"Ashley, no hard feelings, right?" he asked.
"We're done, @$$hole." replied Ashley. Then, she walked away, leaving the other teenage girls to walk over and do the same thing.
The next week later, Ansat and Ashley were watching TV on Ansat's couch, when Ben climbed into the treehouse, with a trophy in hand.
"I take it you and Nerdzilla won?" asked Ansat.
"Yep!" said Ben. "Did anything happen while I was gone?"
Ansat and Ashley looked at each other.
"Long story short," said Ansat. "I got this cool guitar."
And so, Ansat took out his new guitar, and started shredding.
Episode 36: Razor's Edge: Part 1[]
Julia was pouring potions in her end of Omelet's lab, when Omelet walked in.
"Hey, Julia, your cousin's calling." he said.
"She is?" she asked.
"Yeah, she's calling on my monitor, it's really getting annoying."
Julia got up, and walked over to Omelet's monitor, where a black haired woman with a scar over her eye and a black coat was sitting in a chair.
"Hello, Julia, my stupid blonde cousin." said the woman.
"What do you want, Ether?" replied Julia, groaning.
"As you know, I've been trapped in this infernal dimension for years, but I've finally managed to make communication!"
"What? Why is she trapped in another dimension?" asked Omelet.
"Shut up." hissed Julia. She turned back to the monitor. "Again, why did you call me?"
"I want you to visit me! I'm way more successful than you are!"
"How?"
"Well, for one-"
Just then, Sasha stormed in.
"Omelet, gimme the keys to the Nexo-Wheel!" she said.
"No, you're still grounded!" said Omelet.
"You're not even my real dad!"
"You take that back!"
Then, Hammer and Spike ran in.
"Julia, Spike ate my leftover spaghetti!" yelled Hammer.
"I didn't see your name on it" replied Spike.
And then, an alarm went off.
"Half brained hedgehog approaching!" said a robotic alarm.
Ether started laughing.
Just then, there were sounds of lasers being fired, metallic clanking, and very worn out catchphrases.
Then, Ansat and Ben walked in.
"Omelet, you interrupted mine and Ben's Rock the House marathon." said Ansat.
"Yeah, plus, you had the Eggbots attack Lamplight, again!"
"Now, we're gonna kick your @$$!"
Ben took out his laser guns, and started firing at Omelet, as Ansat tackled Sasha.
Within a few minutes, Omelet, Sasha, Hammer, and Spike were on the ground, bruised.
"I hope we didn't miss Jim and Dave skydiving off the Academy's roof." said Ansat.
"You idiots, you're embarrassing me in front of my cousin!" yelled Julia.
"And?"
Julia walked up to the control panel, pressed a button, and suddenly, a laser gun popped down from the ceiling, and fired a blue beam at the two, making them disappear.
"There we go." said Julia.
"Hm. You're not so incompetent after all." said Ether.
"Thank you."
Meanwhile, Ansat and Ben were hurtling through a blue rift of sorts, until they landed in a vast field.
However, it was way different than what they were used to.
The sky was red, with dark gray clouds. The grass looked almost dead, and there was overall, a different feel.
"Where'd we go?" asked Ben.
"How the hell should I know?" asked Ansat.
They shrugged, and began running.
However, after a few minutes, they approached a city. It looked like Lamplight, but again, different.
The place looked pretty run down. Some buildings were destroyed, and the streets were barren.
"Lemme guess, we traveled to the future, and since we weren't around, Omelet took over again." snarked Ansat.
"Let's go find the time booth and get outta here." said Ben.
However, when they turned around, they bumped into a couple of wizards.
Except they weren't wizards.
They were really tall, and every inch of their bodies were ink black. Suddenly, they started hissing, and raised their arms.
Ansat got into a fighting stance as Ben took out his laser guns.
"Get ready, dude..." Said Ansat.
Just then, there was a flash, and the two monster things were cut into halves, before melting.
Behind the melted puddles was another wizard.
He had a black T-shirt, chains around his neck, ripped black jeans, white and red boots, and a red streak in his black hair. He had an angry demeanor, and it kind of freaked Ben out.
"You kids shouldn't be outside right now." said the figure. "It's idiots like you who make my job a lot harder."
"Hey, lay off, man, how were we supposed to know those dudes would attack us?" asked Ansat.
"Everyone in Prodigia knows about the Darkness. I don't know how you idiots wouldn't know."
"The what?"
"Psh, you guys can just go and die for all I care. You two are too stupid to live."
And then, the guy walked away. But Ansat wasn't done.
"Hey, man, who do you think you are?!" he said, getting increasingly pissed off.
The dude turned around.
"Razor."
Ansat started laughing.
"What kind of an edgelord name is that?" he asked.
"Shut up! What's your name!" replied Razor.
"Ansat."
"What kind of a name is that?!"
"It's short for 'Ansatsu', which means 'Assasination', dude."
"Look, idiot, if you don't stop pissing me off, we're gonna have a problem. You don't want to mess with me..."
"Ooh, how scary..." snarked Ansat. "Look at me, I'm Razor, I have an edgy name!"
Ben backed away, as Razor got angrier. He practically flew at Ansat, before punching him square in the face.
Ansat staggered backwards, before getting into a fight stance.
"You wanna fight, emo boy? Let's fight!"
Ansat sped at Razor, as the latter fired blasts of... well, fire, at Ansat. The speedster dodged every blast, before curling up into a ball, and hitting Razor in the stomach.
Razor fell over, before hopping back up, and boy was he mad.
Before anything else could happen, though, more of those dark creatures, presumably the Darkness, surrounded them.
"Great... look what you did." said Razor.
"What I did? You started fighting me!" replied Ansat.
The Darkness started firing dark blasts at the teens, as Ben started firing lasers at them.
However, eventually, Ben's laser guns stopped firing, and there were still a bunch of monsters there.
"Darn, I should've charged these things..." said Ben.
Ansat and Ben looked kinda scared, but Razor just tapped his toes, causing his boots to light up, as he rose off of the ground.
Ben got an idea.
"Oh yeah, I can fly!"
Ben grabbed Ansat's hands, and flew up off of the ground. He had nowhere else to go, so he followed Razor.
"Ben, you goober, why do you keep forgetting you can fly?" asked Ansat.
"I really don't know, dude." replied Ben.
Just then, Razor landed in the plains again, lifted up a random manhole, and leapt into the hole it was covering.
"Hey, let's land here, I wanna stick it to that Razor dude!" said Ansat.
"I dunno, dude, doesn't seem very smart." replied Ben.
"Do it, or I'm telling your girlfriend you're scared of heights!"
"Then how am I able to carry you 50 feet above the ground?"
"Uhh, I'll lie, and tell her you read vampire novels!"
Just then, Ben dropped Ansat, as he fell to the ground.
He landed right on the manhole cover.
Ouch.
Ansat lifted up the cover, and hopped down the hole, as Ben flew after him.
The two walked through the tunnel, until they reached a large room. There was a couch, a TV, a huge monitor, an arcade machine, a minifridge, and a microwave.
itor with a control panel, a minifridge, an arcade machine, and a microwave.
"This place rocks!" said Ansat and Ben in unison.
Just then, they both felt a laser gun pointed at the back of their heads.
"Explain yourselves." said a feminine voice.
The two turned around to see a girl with black hair, a black, blood stained tank top, a red miniskirt, and a ragged pair of sneakers. She also had the most striking pair of pink eyes.
"Whoa..." said the duo.
"Answer me!" said the girl.
"Uh, we're... uh... door to door salesmen!" said Ansat.
"Let them go."
The two turned around, and saw Razor, again.
"These two are morons, they couldn't even hurt a fly even if they tried."
The girl put her laser guns down.
"Oh, sorry." she said. "I've just been on edge for a while."
"Morons, this is Monique." said Razor. "But everyone calls her 'Trigger'."
"I can see why." said Ansat.
"So, how did you guys end up here, anyways?" asked Trigger.
"It's because of this dude named Omelet, and his partner, Julia Riche." said Ben. "She sent us here because we pissed her off."
"Riche? Where have we heard that name before?" asked Trigger.
"Ether..." replied Razor.
"Who?"
"She's a mad scientist who released the Darkness years ago."
Just then, the monitor lit up, before it showed an incoming transmission from none other than Ether.
"That was convenient." said Ansat, turning towards the fourth wall.
Razor and Trigger stared at him.
"Who are you talking to?" asked Trigger.
"Hey, listen to me!" yelled Ether. "I have a giant nuke that's set to go off..."
She stopped when she saw Ansat and Ben.
"My infernal cousin must have sent her idiot enemies to this dimension!" she yelled. "I'll call her, after I kill you all!"
"We need to stop her!" said Trigger.
"Sneaker power!" yelled Ansat and Ben, as they got ready to run. However, they were held back by Razor.
"No way. You dorks are just gonna get in the way." he said. He threw them both onto the couch, before turning on a kid's show on the TV.
"Now you boys stay here while we take care of business." said Trigger, as she left with Razor.
Ansat snarled, but Ben seemed to be into the cartoon.
"Boy, this old Mantis Man cartoon is pretty cool." he said.
"Shut up, dude, don't you see the bigger picture? They think we're lame!" replied Ansat.
"Yeah, but I care more about seeing if Mantis Man will rescue Sandy-Kate from that evil science dude, Dr. Bigmouth and all those other villains."
"We've seen that episode a million times, let's just go and fight Ether, or whatever her name was."
And so, Ansat grabbed Ben by the hand, and sped off.
Meanwhile, Razor and Trigger were sneaking through a huge castle. There was Darkness everywhere, but they were able to sneak past most of them.
And they ones they couldn't sneak by?
Splat.
Now that you get my drift, Razor and Trigger were getting really close to Ether's command room, when suddenly...
"Whoa, dude, this place is way bigger than Omelet's tower!"
Razor and Trigger facepalmed.
As soon as the two idiots walked past the corner the two edgelords were hiding behind, the latter two grabbed them.
"What did we tell you two about staying at the base?!" hissed Razor.
"We decided to show you guys that we're not lame." said Ansat with a smug look.
"By we, he means him, I was fine with just staying behind." said Ben.
"We knew you were childish." said Trigger. "Now if you two can't follow orders, we're gonna have to feed you to the Darkness!"
"Harsh." said Ansat.
"Can we just keep going? I see a huge door in front of us, it must be Ether's room!" said Ben
Razor and Trigger sighed, before dropping the two, and walking through the door, laser guns in hand.
Inside of the control room, Ether was in a chair, chuckling madly.
"Game over, Ether!" said Ansat.
Razor whacked him in the back of the head with his laser gun.
"Now, where's the bomb?" asked Trigger.
"I lied!" yelled Ether. "I just wanted an excuse to do this!"
She pressed a button on the control panel, and a laser gun popped down from the ceiling, and shit the four to yet another dimension.
Episode 36 and a Half: Razor's Edge: Part 2[]
Ansat, Ben, Razor, and Trigger landed in Pallet Pass. There were no red skies, no dead grass, just green hills, loop de loops, waterfalls, and a dirt path leading to Lamplight.
"Dude, we're home!" said Ansat.
He and Ben got up, and high fived. Razor and Trigger weren't pleased.
"Where the hell are we?!" asked Razor, grabbing Ansat's shirt.
"Mine and Ben's Prodigia, aka, the better one." replied Ansat.
"Why you little-"
"Look, we need to figure out a way to get home, do you know one?" asked Trigger.
"Well, there's Omelet's tower, but we can't really go right now, I'm kinda hungry." replied Ben.
"Get us home now!" hissed Razor.
"You didn't see us threatening you when we were in your dimension!"
"Because our dimension isn't the stuff of wimps!"
"Alright, all of you guys, calm down." said Trigger. "We should probably relax."
"Yeah, let's go to Tony's." said Ansat. "He has the best pizza-dogs!"
"Pizza what?" asked the two edgelords.
"You'll see."
A few minutes later, the four were walking through Lamplight, when suddenly, they heard a bunch of screaming.
Ansat and Ben turned their heads to see Ashley, who was recording a huge explosion.
"I wish I wasn't my own cameraman, I should really be helping out." she said, pointing her camera at the fray.
Just then, a bunch of enemies appeared. There were Eggbots, but also clowns, cultists, vampires, bounty hunters, and even members of Beyun's royal guard.
"Okay, hold on, this makes no sense, how did these dudes come back?" asked Ben. "We kicked the hell out of all of these guys, logically speaking, they shouldn't have come back."
"Well, we gotta save Ashley first!" said Ansat. And with that, he and Ben ran towards the fray.
And so, Ansat and Ben went forth to kick the crap out of all of these former enemies, who should logically be gone.
And so, when everyone was defeated, Ansat and Ben ran up to Ashley, before high fiving.
"Cowabunga!" said the idiot duo.
"Hey, do you guys know what was up with... well, literally everyone who wasn't an Eggbot?" asked Ashley.
"No clue." said Ben.
Just then, Razor and Trigger walked up behind Ansat and Ben.
"Who are you guys?" asked Ashley.
"Oh yeah. Ashley, this is Razor and Trigger, they're total geeks." said Ansat.
"Shut up!" said Razor.
"They're very... odd." said Ashley.
"They're edgelords from another dimension." said Ansat. "They've been b*tching at us to get them home ever since we got here."
"Hmm. Why am I not surprised?"
"Let's go grab some pizza-dogs." said Ben.
"Sweet."
"Killer."
"No, seriously, what's a pizza-dog?" asked Razor.
And so, Ansat, Ben, and Ashley took Razor and Trigger on a little tour of their version of Prodigia.
And eventually, the tour ended at the treehouse.
"And this is mine and Ansat's pad." said Ben.
"Whoa. This place is pretty cool, for a couple of losers, anyways." said Razor.
"Wait, why do you guys live out of a treehouse?" asked Trigger. "Your world doesn't look like it's been overrun by weird alien things."
"We're orphans and child protective services isn't canon." said Ansat.
He and Ben started laughing before sadly sighing.
And so, everyone sat down onto the couch, and turned on the TV.
"Weird, whenever everyone's on the couch, the episode's over." said Ben.
"Why would we end with a part 2 that's even shorter than part 1?" asked Ansat. "The guy writing this might be lazy, but not that lazy."
"Seriously, what are you guys talking about?" asked Trigger.
Just then, Omelet's face showed up on the TV.
"Hey, losers, why don't you come to my tower and fight me?" he said.
"Why?" asked Ansat.
"Because..."
Omelet whispered to Julia offscreen.
"Because we have nachos!"
"No way, we already fell for that once, and that was in a stupid filler episode!" said Ben.
"Oh yeah, we also installed a dimensional nuke in the Nexo-Wheel."
"Oh..."
Ansat and Ben hopped off the couch, stretched, and jumped out of the treehouse. Ashley did the same.
Ansat started revving up, and Ben floated in the air, and Ashley hopped on the Weapon Bike.
"Now you kids stay here, and if you behave, we'll buy you ice cream!" snarked Ansat, before laughing.
Razor and Trigger climbed down.
"This world is a joke, we can go with you just fine. said Razor.
"No way, edgelord." replied Ansat. "Consider this payback!"
And so, he ran off. However, Razor wasn't having any of it. His boots lit up, as rocket flames came out from his soles, as she rushed behind Ansat.
"This is gonna suck." said Ashley. "We should probably go stop them."
"Nothing says we have to." said Trigger.
"Yeah, but Omelet has that dimension nuke." said Ashley.
"Oh, right. No offense, but I think being in this universe has dumbed me down a little."
"None taken... mostly."
And so, Ashley rode off as Ben grabbed Trigger's hands and flew off.
Meanwhile, at the tower, Ether was talking to Julia through the monitor again.
"So Razor and Trigger are in your dimension?" asked Ether.
"According to the camera footage, yes." replied Julia.
"Well, you know, I could always send my little creations to your dimension and get rid of all of them for you. They've worked better than your Eggbots."
"Are you sure? They could destroy the universe!"
"Yeah, that's the point."
"We just want to rule the universe, not destroy it!"
"It'll be fine."
And so, Ether snapped her fingers, and a bunch of Darkness members trudged over to her, as she shot her dimensional laser at them, sending them into Omelet's control room.
"Eesh, creepy." said Julia.
"It's fine. Now send them after your enemies."
"But what if they turn my dimension into a hellscape?"
"Do you want to be in control, or be a coward?"
Julia sighed.
"Weird ink things, go wreak havoc..."
And so, immediately, the ink creatures fled.
One floor below, Omelet was standing on a stage, yelling at a bunch of clowns, vampires, cultists, evil bounty hunters, and royal guard members.
"You couldn't capture one teenager?! One?! You all are stupid!" he yelled.
Everyone grumbled, but then...
The Darkness flooded in.
They started blasting everyone in the room that wasn't Omelet. However, once they were sufficiently damaged, Omelet's captive audience turned a shade of black, and they started losing their faces as they growled.
"Uh, what?"
Omelet got an idea.
"Capture the half brained hedgehog, my weird ink black army!" he yelled.
And they left, again.
Meanwhile, Ansat and Razor were going at it.
Razor was rapidly firing at Ansat with a laser gun, but the speedster kept dodging.
"Laser guns? You know how many laser guns I've run into?" he asked, smugly. Then, he charged at Razor, knocking him backwards.
Razor got up, and threw away his laser gun, before pulling out an axe.
"Eesh, an axe? Lame."
Ansat started laughing, before he suddenly felt a huge blade lodged into the side of his neck.
"...OW!" he screamed.
Razor pulled the axe out of Ansat's neck, before swinging it at him again. This time, the speedster was able to dodge it.
"You little edgelord punk!" said Ansat.
"You're one to talk, you're like a cartoon character from the 90s, but way more annoying." replied Razor.
Ansat swept Razor before stepping on his chest while he was down.
"Ready to give up?"
"Never."
Razor flew out from underneath Ansat's foot using his rocket boots, and flew up into the air. Then, he started flying away.
"Come back, you big wuss!"
Ansat ran after him, climbing up into the rooftops in order to get on his level.
"Persistent bastard!" said Razor, as he flew faster.
"Get wrecked, bunghole!" said Ansat, as he used his Extreme Speed to blast forwards.
As soon as Ansat was slightly ahead of Razor, he leapt onto his back.
Razor hissed, as he started going down. Ansat was just laughing the entire way down.
A few seconds later the two were brawling in the giant crater they made.
Ansat nailed Razor with a spinning back kick to the face. Razor staggered backwards, and swing at Ansat's midsection with his axe.
Ansat fell down, but rolled back up, before running circles around Razor. Razor simply stuck his foot out, and tripped him, before holding him down with his foot.
"Aw, what's the matter, you can't keep up with me?" asked Razor, smugly. Just then, Ansat felt a burning sensation in his back.
"Get bent, you can't beat the fastest thing alive!" said Ansat.
"You might be the fastest thing alive, but I'm the ultimate lifeform!"
Ansat started screaming, before he weakly smirked, and turned towards the fourth wall.
"He can't kill me off, I'm the main character." he said.
Razor stopped. "What are you talking about?"
Ansat took advantage of his distraction to get up, causing Razor to fall over. Razor got up, and grabbed his axe, snarling.
They were about to charge at each other, when...
"Help!"
Ansat and Razor immediately turned to their left, and saw Trigger, Ben, and Ashley cornered by members of the Darkness.
They immediately paused their fight to help out their friends.
Ansat cut a Darkness member in half with his Quadruple Spin, while Razor fired multiple fireballs at another member, incinerating them.
After all those weird creatures were defeated, Ansat turned to Ashley and Ben while Razor turned to Trigger.
"You dudes okay?" asked Ansat.
"We're fine, but they aren't."
Ben pointed towards Lamplight, as a bunch of Darkness lurked around, trying to cause destruction and infect other wizards.
"What the fu-"
Ansat cut himself off when he saw Razor and Trigger walking away. Before he got too far, Razor turned to Ansat.
"You coming, dorks?" he asked.
And so, everyone left to kick some Darkness @$$.
There were lasers, elemental attacks, blasts of dark matter, and enough camera footage to make a movie.
After all of that carnage, the group was at Omelet's tower, as Ansat kicked down the door to the command room.
"Alright, egg-brain, what's the big idea?!" he asked.
Omelet chuckled.
"Oh, you silly little idiot." he said. "For once, it wasn't my idea, so you can't beat me up this time!"
Razor pulled out an axe, and held it to Omelet's chest.
"Tell us who it is, or we'll be decorating Winterfest trees with your intestines!" he hissed.
Omelet immediately pulled out a laser gun.
"Au contraire, you wimp!" he said.
But just then, Julia walked into the command room.
"Look, it wasn't Omelet this time, it was me." she said.
"Er, why?" asked Ben. "What would you gain from destroying Prodigia, you live here!"
"Look, my cousin Ether always thought I was stupid when I was younger, so I let her send me her little alien creations when she sent you idiots to this dimension."
"Get rid of them!" yelled Trigger.
"No. I want Ether to shut up for once."
"You will," said Ashley, who was recording the whole thing." Because if you don't, I'll upload all of this footage, and have your reputation ruined!"
Julia sighed, walked back to the control panel, punched in a few numbers, and suddenly, all of the infected wizards were returned to normal.
"Well, that was convenient." said Ansat, who was once again facing the fourth wall.
"Now," said Razor. "Send us home!"
"Why not? I don't care anymore, this sucks. I hate this show."
Julia pressed a button, and the rift gun popped down from the ceiling.
"Ready?"
"Not yet." said Razor. He walked up to Ansat, and put a piece of paper in his hand.
"What's this?" he asked.
"My number. How else can I talk to the fastest thing alive in my own dimension?" replied Razor.
Ansat blushed a little, as Julia pressed a button, and sent Razor and Trigger back to their dimension.
"Catch you later, ultimate lifeform..."
"I'm hungry, wanna go to Nacho Bowl?" asked Ben.
"Sure." said Ashley.
Ansat chuckled idiotically, as he followed his friends down the stairs.
Meanwhile, in the gloomier dimension, Razor and Trigger were sitting on their couch, when 4 girls, a guy in a hockey mask, a girl with short boyish hair and a cigarette in her mouth, and a 20 something year old guy in sunglasses and a jean jacket walked into the lair.
"What was the urgent message for?" asked one of the girls.
"Mantis Man watch party." said Trigger. "We can't be so serious all the time, we can take a break every once in a while."
Everyone was confused, but shrugged, and sat down on the couch.
Episode 37: Ansat Breakout[]
One warm spring day, Omelet was pissed off, as usual.
"What do you mean, budget?!" he yelled.
Julia sighed.
"Look, we can't just keep spending money on expensive metals for the Eggbots. We'll have to invest in lower grade robots until I think of an invention to make us more money." she said.
"Unacceptable, simply unacceptable!"
Omelet growled. Just then, Sasha walked into the control room.
"Julia, tell your henchmen to stop using all the hot water!" she said.
"Hey, don't speak to me like that." Replied the scientist.
"Whatever, you're not my mom."
"That's it, you're grounded."
Sasha snarled, and fired lasers from her eyes, nearly hitting Julia.
That's when Omelet got an idea.
"Eureka!" he said. "I've got an idea so good that the half brained hedgehog can't possibly stop me!"
And so, he started evil laughing.
Meanwhile, Ansat was at Ashley's place, watching a movie.
Or, rather, Ashley was watching the movie, Ansat was on his phone, and it was pissing Ashley off.
"Are you really gonna be on your phone the entire time?" she asked.
"Yeah, what about it?" replied Ansat.
"What're you even looking at?"
"Nothing."
Ashley snatched Ansat's phone, only to see a picture of Razor without a shirt on.
"Hey, give that back!" yelled Ansat.
"Oh, I see. You're too busy looking at your little boyfriend to hang out with your other friend." teased Ashley.
Ansat blushed, as he tried to get his phone back.
Just then, a news report came on the TV.
"Breaking news." said the reporter. "A bunch of citizens have been abducted by known supervillain, Omelet Scramblebrains."
Ansat took advantage of Ashley's distraction to grab his phone back. The second he did, he called Ben.
"Ben, get the glider."
A few minutes later, Omelet had a bunch of people rounded up in his command room.
"Now, are you fools ready to become members of my empire?" he asked.
"My mom said that if I join an evil empire, I'll get grounded for a week." said a kid.
"Gee, I dunno, I don't think I like the idea of joining a known supervillain." said a random adult.
"Does it provide good pay?" asked a guy in a suit.
Omelet facepalmed.
"No!" he yelled. "You all are going to be-"
Just then, Ben's glider crashed through the wall, Ansat standing on the wing.
"Hey Breakfast Bonanza. Ready for your daily beatdown?" said Ansat.
Before Omelet could respond, Ansat hopped off of the wing, while Ben flew out of the pilot seat.
"Alright, what do I have to dismantle this time?" asked Ben, gripping one of his laser guns.
Omelet pulled out a remote.
"Not so fast, idiots." said Omelet.
Ansat and Ben looked at the remote.
"Really? Not even a laser sword or something?" asked Ben.
"Ah, but this remote can do more than that!" said Omelet. He pointed the remote at one of his hostages, as his skin turned metallic gray, as he screamed in pain, his screams becoming more robotic as the transformation went on. Eventually, he was transformed into an Eggbot.
"Yikes." said Ben. "Ansat, maybe we should-"
He was cut off by the sound of Ansat revving up.
"Cowabunga!" yelled the speedster as he charged at Omelet.
Just then, Omelet pressed another button, which caused Ansat to get zapped to... somewhere.
"Hey, where'd you send Ansat?!" said Ben.
"To a place he'll never escape from!" yelled Omelet.
"Yeah, well I'll send you crying to your mommy!"
Ben was about to fire some lasers, when he felt Hammer and Spike grab him from behind.
"You can't escape now, you little birdie!" said Hammer.
"Yeah, you'll be a great Eggbot for Omelet!" said Spike.
"No no, I have special plans for him..." said Omelet.
Meanwhile, Ansat landed somewhere in the sewers.
"Eesh, the sewers?" asked Ansat. "Man, it is just like Omelet to send me somewhere lame. Why can't he send me to a Squadron concert or something?"
Just then, Ansat heard Omelet's voice.
"Hello, delinquent pest!" he said.
"Huh? Where are you?" asked Ansat.
"Look up."
Ansat looked upwards to find a screen showcasing the control room, where Ben was tied up.
"I have your hetero life mate with me. If you don't admit to being a slow loser, I'll turn him into an Eggbot!" he said.
"Are you serious?! I'm not letting you turn him into one of your lame little punching dummies!"
"Then say you're a slow loser."
"No."
"Then I'll turn him into a robot."
"Then I'll kick your @$$."
"Too bad, you're in the lowest point of my base."
"It's just a sewer."
"Yeah, but it's the sewer underneath the tower."
"Meaning?"
Just then, a robotic alligator tried to chomp on Ansat's leg.
"Oh."
"You better admit it, because I have a bunch of people to turn into Eggbots, and I'll have them kill you while I turn Ben into one."
And so, the screen turned off. The robotic alligator tried to chomp Ansat's leg again, but he just kicked him in the mouth, causing his robot metallic self to fall off, turning him to normal.
"Huh. Neat."
And so, Ansat zoomed off, trying to find a way out of the sewers.
As he ran along the edge of the sewer, he saw a bunch of robots drowning in the sludge, all old and discarded, some of them broken, some of them still fully functional.
"Hey, this would be a cool place for a music video." said Ansat.
Just then, he heard a shriek. It came from a seemingly normal looking girl.
"Huh? Who's that?"
He walked over to the girl, and smirked.
"Hey, what's a pretty girl like you doing in a grungy place like this?" he asked, trying to seem as suave as possible.
The girl turned around, only for her face to be totally melted off, revealing a robot skull.
"Oh, lemme guess, you're gonna transform into a huge robot thing, and try to shoot me or some?" he snarked.
The robot girl nodded. Then, her body expanded as she grew four times large.
"Yep, thought so."
And with that, he got into a fighting stance.
After zooming around the robot girl for a few seconds, he ran up her leg, and then onto her shoulder.
"Hey, I have a secret to tell you." he said.
The robot moved her ear closer to Ansat. Just then, she felt an electric buzzsaw through her robotic brain, as Ansat emerged out the other side.
"Too easy."
Just then, the robot exploded, sending Ansat up another level.
Ansat landed in a boiler room, which was totally swelteringly hot. He continued on, eager to save his friend.
"I hope Ben's still alive. If he is, I'll buy him lunch." he said, as he started to slow down. He started slowing, and slowing, as he got hotter and hotter.
"This sucks..." he said. "Why is this boiler room so hot?"
He flopped onto the ground, panting. He still tried to crawl onwards, before an alarm went off.
A bunch of Eggbots stormed in, weapons in hands.
"Great..."
Ansat slowly got up, before leaping at an Eggbot, and kicking him in the face, causing him to fall to the ground, cracking his robotic casing and turning him to normal.
"Hey, thanks!" said the now normal wizard.
"Yeah, yeah, now get out, I need to fight the rest of these dudes before I pass out..." said Ansat.
"Say, I'm an energy drink salesman for Red Fury, our energy drinks are made to not only rehydrate, but gain an extraordinary rush like no other."
"Your point is?"
"I can give you one of my drinks..."
"Sweet!"
"For two gold."
"T-two gold?"
"Did I stutter?"
"I just saved your life, dude!"
"Do you want to dry up here and die?"
Ansat gave the salesman two gold coins, as he grabbed a bottle of Red Fury. As he chugged it, he felt restored... better than restored...
Ansat started zipping all over the place, before grabbing the salesman by the legs, and throwing him at the other Eggbots, causing them to crack open, too.
Just then, Ansat leapt high up to the ceiling, and Quadruple Spun his way through the ceiling, ending up in Omelet's basement.
As soon as Ansat made his way up there, the rush wore off, and he fell onto the floor.
"Okay, finally. Now time to-"
He was cut off by the sound of a shriek.
"Ben!"
Ansat immediately hopped up, and charged towards the exit, only to be stopped by a wall blocking the door.
"What?"
Ansat tried to Quadruple Spin through the wall, but he couldn't.
"This cannot be happening."
Just then, the lights went out.
"F*ck."
Ansat stumbled through the dark, before he took out his lighter, and saw directly what was in front of him.
The Nexo-Wheel.
"Oh yes." he said, grinning evilly.
After blasting through the wall out of the Nexo-Wheel's cannon, he immediately ran upstairs, to Omelet's control room, where Ben was tied up.
"Ben!" he yelled, as he ran over to his pall, trying to untie him.
"Dude, it's a trap!" said Ben.
"What?"
Just then, Omelet showed up.
"Wow you actually made it, congratulations. Too bad you're gonna die." he said, before he pressed another button. Out came a bunch of Eggbots, who looked menacing.
However, at that point, Ansat had already untied Ben.
And you all probably know how this went.
A few minutes later, all the Eggbots were gone, having been turned back into normal wizards, as Omelet was flabbergasted.
"How were they that weak?!" he screamed. "They were weaker than the normal ones!"
"Yeah, what a terrible plan." said Ben. "Like, you didn't even test them out?"
Omelet chuckled sheepishly, as Ansat and Ben approached him.
And so, Omelet ended up in the sewer as a bunch of his old, discarded robots approached him, clearly unhappy about their treatment.
And so, an hour later, Ansat and Ben were at Tony's eating pizza-dogs.
"You're really paying for all this?" asked Ben.
"Damn right I am. I made a promise to myself, and I'm keeping it." replied Ansat.
"Whoa, thanks."
"Don't mention it."
And so, they kept eating.