WIP
Sometimes all you need to do to help is step into another's mind... and feel their pain.
Prologue[]
“Jade?”
A woman stepped out of the darkness, rolling her eyes. “Who else would it be?”
“Wh-why are you here?”
“I want to make a wish.”
Hilda frowned. “I can’t—and won’t—bring him back-“
“Don’t talk about him,” she snarled, twisting the iron band around her wrist. “You don’t deserve it.”
“I…”
Another voice interrupted, a woman in the spitting image of Hilda appearing. “Jade, I can’t believe you were serious—oh.”
“Get out of here, Juniper-“
“I’m legally obligated to, just do you don’t go, you know, insane.”
In the silence, the Keeper looked at the ground, twisting the bookmark in her book back and forth. A hundred thoughts were tossed back and forth in her mind, her finally settling on saying carefully, “What do you want?
“So quick to get to the point. I want to talk to Shadow.”
Silence.
“No. You don’t want to-“
The hybrid stepped forwards, crazed look in her eyes reflecting Hilda’s terrified expression. “You don’t judge what I want. If you knew what I wanted I wouldn’t be shattered like this. I don’t care about your selfish decisions. Or do you really not care about your mistake?”
The words hit hard, Hilda taking a step back before speaking. “The only feasible way is with Elemental Balance. And Gale-“
“-will do it.”
An Ivory stood in the doorway, amber eyes shining with unreadable emotion.
Hilda curled her fists, snarling. “I’ll never do anything for you, fishna, and that won’t ever change.”
He winced slightly at the word, glancing at the ground before managing, "But it won't be for me, at least not in a good way. Jade most likely wants to get over her fears, meaning she'll get more out of this then I ever would."
She couldn’t help the smile growing across her face. “My daughter likely won’t ‘get over’ her fears. But I’ll accept that.”
Gale didn’t respond, only let the hatred dangling in the air fill the silence. She was too scared to admit to it, he was too scared to acknowledge it.
So all Hilda did was turn to the book, seemingly weighing her decisions—love for Jade, and hate for Gale—in her mind.
When she spoke, her voice was rigid, a sick joy hidden under each syllable. “Three days. Enough for Jade to come to terms with Shadow and enough for Gale to, well…”
Suffer.
Gale stood expressionless, only saying, “Well?”
The Keeper of the Book opened a page, already beginning to regret her decision. Yet all she said was, “Wish granted.”
Balance[]
“Juniper, I did it, now leave me alone.”
The healer swallowed nervously. “But you’re not-“
”Not little Miss Insanity? For a few days, yes. So you can leave now.”
”But-“
Jade sneered, a mocking laugh ringing through their room, echoing again and again and again. “But what? You can’t let me go? Becuase you ‘care?’ If you actually cared, I wouldn’t even be in here. Leave.”
Juniper bit her lip, hesitance clear in every movement. “I can’t, you’re in my custody, you know that.”
”You think I care? They can’t hurt me beyond this, sis, I’ve nothing left to lose. And if they punish you?”
She laughed again.
”Why would I care?”
Juniper sighed deeply before stepping out of sight, forced-back desperation and helplessness beginning to form in her mind.
Jade, however, didn’t even notice under the crushing voices filling her.
Oh, look at that, it’s the Prodigy.
Get with the times, Shadow, that was thirty or so years ago.
You’ll always be the victim in my mind. You always have been.
That I am, thanks to you.
What do you expect? Guilt? Please, we both know that’s a lost cause.
Jade didn’t respond, instead groping around in her mind for the memories that… just weren’t there.
Was she happy?
No… only annoyed.
About time.
So you want to talk to me.
Want to come to terms with you, yes.
So touchy, it was just a bit of fun—don’t tell me you’re any different.
You made me this way, Shadow, don’t you dare play victim.
Play victim? You are victim, and you always will be.
Always? Please, once I die-
If you die, idiot.
What do you mean, if-
Denying the truth. Well, it really was wonderful having this chat, puppet, but I’ve other things to do then spend all my time having some fun with you.
Don’t you dare-
Only crushing silence met her.
Jade opened her eyes, finding herself leaning against a bookshelf, out of breath.
Imbalance[]
Silence.
Absolute silence.
And he wasn't half-dead in the process.
He exhaled deeply, scarcely able to believe it.
Gale couldn't recall the first time he heard the element's voices or the silence before it, yet now that he was free of them... he never imagined actually missing those quirky voices trying to give him advice or adding commentary every once in a while. Before he felt a false sense of loneliness... but now? He was truly alone.
That's when he realized, Wait, didn't we make a trade?
Then it struck.
A sense of fear, tight and harsh, running through him... the walls closing in around him, life collapsing over and over... Hunter... Luce... Shadow...
How does Jade do this?
He forced himself to breathe, ignoring the burning sensation caused by one too many scars - but one wasn't burning. He immediately yanked up his left sleeve at noticing, the brand on his shoulder dull. Well, that's new...
Another barrage of trauma was about to strike, him mentally blocking it off as he blocked off too many elements - elements that weren't there, but the fear was.
He closed his eyes, hugging himself as he tried to calm, tail lashing back and forth. He would do anything to have Earth or Water's voices in his head again, he needed someone to drag him back to reality, the reality that there was nothing to fear - yet he made his choice.
He had never felt so alone.
Balance[]
Shadow, get back here…
Nothing.
The hybrid opened her eyes, staring at the ground. Hilda watched in concern, but the longer her gaze, the longer the pain went on.
Juniper was nowhere to be seen, which meant… what? She didn’t need to be knocked out or restrained or contained a hundred different ways anymore? She wasn’t insane? She was… free?
If this was freedom, Jade wanted to go back to being the puppet.
It was so… weird… not having those hundred things manipulating her, using her, controlling her.
Normally it was the ones that hurt her, the fear that led to hate that led to insanity. Thrown back and forth.
But when the hate and fear subsided?
All there was was guilt. A blossoming hatred, not towards the eternal enemies this time, but towards herself.
Towards who was really the villain of this fairy tale.
Who could ever love her? Why would anybody love her? How could anybody love her?
Should she even be loved?
The answer screamed at her, needing no shadows to supplement it.
No.
Imbalance[]
Three days. I tolerate this for three days.
Gale had decided to focus on one thing, trying to convince himself that it won't be that bad to carry the weight of a bit more trauma - it's not like he hasn't been through it before.
His mother throwing him out, Magicatcher threatening him, Shadow taking control for the first time, the original wardens dying, and Darkshade using him in his cruel twisted plan to create a void elemental.
Yet somehow... Jade's trauma felt worse.
Maybe it was because he was feeling it from her perspective since she most likely had a different way of coping. Yet something told him their methods weren't that different. Then why...
Finally, he put his finger on it. It was the lack of emotion. All he could do was push the trauma away. There was something else, too... something he really didn't want to acknowledge. Yet the second he glanced at Hilda, he remembered - Jade wasn't her only child.
Hunter.
The name was resulted with a flood of memories, none of them inducing nostalgia, but only hatred and jealously. As he was dragged back down into his thoughts, he failed to notice Hilda glaring at him intensely, most likely imagining all the horrible deaths she believed he was worthy of.
The Ivory forced himself back to reality, noticing Hilda's death stares but ignoring them. Gale gazed in Jade's direction, sadistically enjoying her struggles. He didn't need to be sadistic, but this hatred wasn't for Shadow's sake - it was for his own.
It was the only thing that lessened the pain.
The only thing that gave him peace.
The only thing he had.
The only thing he knew.
Hate...
...but not love.
Balance[]
“Get away from me,” Jade snarled, pulling away from her mother.
“I don’t-“
“Leave me alone.”
“No, I won’t-“
“What are you gonna do? Force me into submission?” the hybrid said, glare venomous. “I know you’re too weak to do that, too much of a coward, so leave if you really do care.”
The Keeper stepped back, blinking tears away.
Jade paid no mind, only glared at Gale, who had been watching her. “What? Do you want to kill me like you did-“
She gasped lightly. The memories, the fake ones, the real ones, they were all gone. What was real? What was fake? What mattered? What didn’t?
She wasn’t a puppet anymore, but what was she? Jade glared back down at her band, turning it in her fingers to relish the pain. Yet her hand dropped suddenly and involuntarily, a voice surfacing in her head.
Don’t.
What do you mean, don’t? Can’t I-
You rely on two things, don’t you? Pain and fear. What happens when they’re both gone?
I’m free.
And alone.
I’d rather be alone than visit them at night.
Well, who said you wouldn’t be scarred?
Silence.
Imbalance[]
As it was getting dark, Gale and Jade headed back home... whatever that was.
The Ivory Fairy stood at the door reluctantly, before finally pushing it open, wanting to be with someone.
Yet fate was twisted against him, the household being quiet for once. He sighed, platinum braided hair swishing slightly, and shut the door behind him.
"Gale are you alright?"
He spun to face Aly, startled, "Yeah, uh... I'm fine."
The Ice Fairy stared at him, "Since when did you say yeah?"
Never. Yet he said nothing, leading to Aly sighing.
"Nevermind... what happened? You look like you've seen a gho- actually..."
"I know what you mean, but I'm fine - just a bit tired, admittedly."
She sighed, "I'll take your word for it."
The next few hours only heightened his loneliness. The fairy was desperate for someone to interact with him, but after all the time of pushing his family away, avoiding affection, and isolating himself... they all knew better than to bother him.
But it won't be a bother now, now would it?
Gale went to bed without eating, not having the motive. Yet the second the lights were out his heart raced, the feeling of the dark pressing in on him- No.
He shut it out, ignoring the look Aly was giving him - the fear was noticeable, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.
Could he really handle this for two more days?
Only nightmares answered the question.
He was alone, drowning in a out of endless dark. Everybody he’d every loved was gone. Everybody was gone. He was alone.
Then they appeared.
The endless cycle of faces spiraled around him, each one adding another bond to his body.
Shadow.
Faith.
Luce.
A begging soldier.
Ariana.
Hunter.
Everybody he’d ever known.
Over. And over. And over.
All of them hated him. All of them hurt him. And he deserved it.
The pain was ignored under the memories flooding his mind, from a sniffling three-year-old, to a screaming teenager, to a weak and shaking adult. He wasn’t himself anymore, only a puppet, a tool, of everyone and anyone.
The blackness overwhelmed him as he began to scream.
Silence.
Blindness.
Alone.
Thrown around like an object, used, then discarded.
Eventually, the black faded, leaving a gray mist that stretched eternally, the fate that awaited him.
The endless gray.
The pointless breaths.
The eternal pain.
Gale sat up too scared to scream.
Balance[]
The hybrid wiped an unidentifiable vegetable from her face. Whatever it was, its texture was quite the sensation.
Rocks slammed against a one-roomed, stark white, tiny, building. The only window was too high for anybody under ten feet to reach, and bars covered it. Saying it was an institution fooled nobody. It was a prison, and Jade especially knew that.
Angry yells were music to her ears, a smile spreading across her face as wizards and fairies alike screamed empty threats.
Idiots.
Idiots.
She gasped lightly. How did you…
We’re not that different, Prodigy.
We are very different. You tortured me. You scarred me. You-
And you think your victims don’t bear scars too?
Shut up, [BLEEP].
Jade forced the voice out of her mind, focusing on her bare surroundings.
A tiny cot that clearly belonged in a hospital, a steel table and chair, a small door that led to a bathroom, three pairs of identical gray clothes, and a collection of machines next to the bed. Otherwise, there was nothing in the room.
The floors, ceiling, and walls were all white concrete, too hard for a single crack to be carved in. Iron lined certain areas—the bars on her only window, the door handle, the many locks on the door.
She was in a prison, in more ways than one.
Her insanity, her back-and-forth emotion, her gut-wrenching feeling of loneliness… all gone. But what did that mean?
Before she could ponder that any longer, there was a light rapping on the door, two figures walking in. Juniper rushed over, checking her temperature, her heart rate, everything, but nothing had changed. Korathius only avoided her gaze.
“Jade, sit down-“
“No,” she snapped. “I’m not insane for three days, that’s enough.”
“What are you even going to do?”
The hybrid shrugged. “Leave me alone.”
Korathius bit his lip. “But-“
“Leave.”
They hold their gaze for twenty seconds before he breaks it. “You know I-“
“Don’t. You. Dare.”
“Please, just-“
The Voidwalker glared harsher, gasping lightly when purple flashed in her vision for just a second. The wizard stumbled back, saying nervously, “What happened…”
“Leave me alone.”
The second the two stepped out of the door Jade flung herself across the cot, attempting to control her racing heart.
Perfect.
Can’t you-
Get out of your head? You asked for Elemental Balance, you asked to confront me… and now you pay the price.
That isn’t exactly fair.
You and I both. After all, you’re the one going around committing war crimes.
Jade fell silent at that… she hated the reminder of how similar the two were.
We are not alike, and if we are, it’s because of what you did.
And you would’ve done differently if you were in my position?
Shut. Up.
Idiot. You yourself said you were still one of my puppets. That you respected me. That you became cruel… ruthless… heartless… and that I was successful.
That- that was when I was… insane.
Her thoughts were hesitant - after all, she hadn’t been insane. All she’d been was angry.
Like Shadow.
Were you really? Or were you right?
I’ve changed.
That you have. You’ve become worse… really, I thought you were about to turn to the right side, but now you’re being stubborn… denying who you really are.
I…
Shadow didn’t need to do any convincing. She was absolutely right.
Imbalance[]
He was relieved to see the sunlight creep into the room.
Gale sat cross-legged on the bed, Aly still asleep. The whole night was filled with nightmares - those which he was hoping would go away with Shadow - and a never-ending fear of the dark, the dark which before he embraced.
One of Aly's cats - Dafeng, if he recalled correctly - hopped into the bed and crawled into his lap, sensing his distress. Yet even the presence of the little feline didn't overcome the overwhelming loneliness and fear.
"Gale?"
He glanced back, meeting the gaze of a tired, but awake Ice Warden.
"Yes?"
"You kept me up half the night - are you sure you're alright?"
No answer, it simply wasn't that easy to admit to. He looked away, staring at the window.
"Gale, if you need help it's okay to ask. You don't need to do everything by yourself, or go through everything by yourself."
The Ivory Fairy closed his eyes, "I'm fi-"
"You're not fine. I've known you for nearly forty years and I know for a fact that you are not fine."
"Aly..."
"Don't "Aly" me, and don't even start with Alyss. Gale, I love you and that's why I want you to tell me if something's bothering you," she placed her hand over his, "I want you to be okay."
He breathed deeply, ruffling his bangs, "Alright, I'm not okay."
"Why?"
Reluctantly, he answered with a single word, "Trauma," then sighed aggressively.
"...oh."
He avoided her gaze, but not pulling his hand away just yet.
She sat there, thinking, before speaking, "Why don't you ask Storm or Jade for advice? Well, maybe not Jade."
"Aly it's not that sim-"
"Just do it. If you love me, just push down your pride for a day and ask for goddamned help."
Silence, and then the Ice Fairy pulled her hand away, moving to leave.
"Alright."
She stopped and glanced back at him.
"I'll ask for help."
Balance[]
The second Jade opened her door, a rock slammed into her skull.
She sat gingerly on the edge of her cot, dots of blood dripping onto the white sheets that had been washed free too many times. What was another?
Tiny pale pink dots were just noticeable if you squinted under the right light, hundreds of them from too many incidents to count.
The pain was a rushing relief, something to distract her, as the hybrid stared at the white ceiling and tried to force the voices out of her mind.
Yet still they came.
Wait, seriously?
Yes, seriously. Now get out, sweetheart.
Don’t call me-
Sweetheart, just get away, she had her turn with you.
And she had to exorcise me. Besides-
Can you not talk about me like I’m an object?
Sorry, Prodigy, but you kind of are.
I am not-
Then how do I get to control your every movement, every word, every thought? And it’s even easier now. You’re my little puppet, Jade.
I am not, that’s insanity-
And what caused your insanity? Your trauma?
…
I thought so, at the very least admit it. Actually, I think you did earlier, but now… now you’re in denial. At least Gale admits it.
Gale’s not a puppet.
And how would you know?
He isn’t the one trapped in an asylum.
You of all people know what it’s like being trapped in your mind.
I…
A quiet rap on the door interrupted the two, Jade flinching and moving her hands to protect her head before slowly putting them down.
She moved reluctantly across the floor, blood dotting the ground as she walked.
The hybrid opened the door…
”Gale?”
Imbalance[]
The Ivory Fairy inhaled deeply and slightly frustratedly. On his way there he decided to start things out casually, in a most likely vain attempt to calm his nerves.
"Jade? Have you... have you been able to handle the elements alright?"
When she turned, he gasped slightly… her narrowed eyes were purple, and their was a purple streak in her hair was as well. The same thing happened to him when he started out, multiple times - every one worse than the last.
”Sha-Jade…” He had to stop himself from addressing the elemental, nearly doing it out of habit. Yet he was lying to himself, knowing well enough Shadow was in control.
Oh, look - my proper host. The one who can actually control me.
I can control you. If I couldn’t, I’d be dead.
I wouldn’t kill you.
I seriously doubt that.
Jade sighed, looking up into Gale’s eyes.
”What do I always say? I’m fine.”
He ignored her, "Five minutes until you say we."
"What?"
"At least five or so minutes in you start saying "we" instead of "I", intentionally or unintentionally, especially when Shadow's trying to take control - so try not to drift in your thoughts or anything."
"I don't need-"
"I know you don't want my help, but... I need your help."
She blinked in surprise, pressing a hand against her temple before speaking.
“What… what do you need?”
He fell silent, unsure how to put it into words, "How do you... how do you cope with your trauma? I've... I've tried but... it's different from the trauma I've been through - I can't just shove it away like I usually do."
Jade opened her mouth to respond, but two things stopped her. Exhaustion, and… the fact that she didn’t really have an answer. All she did with trauma, at least after recent events, was ignore it, and she never realized how unhealthy it had been.
”I… I don’t know,” she murmured, fighting to keep her eyes open, “Unless you like committing war crimes and killing hundreds of people - which you don’t.”
Well that was a lot of help, he sighed, avoiding her gaze. "Thank you... I suppose." He was about to leave, but paused at seeing how... tired Jade looked, "I get you don't want my help but try taking a nap - I always felt a bit tired after using Elemental Balance, being a Keeper helped but... I think you know what I mean." With that, he left, retreating back to the place he called home.
At the word “nap”, her eyelids grew heavier - it was only her stubbornness keeping her from collapsing.
Meanwhile, Gale had gotten back, wordlessly slipping back into his room regardless of the looks Aly (and also Storm) was giving him. He locked the door, slumping the ground.
There was no way he could tell Storm which meant... he was truly alone on this.
And there was nothing he could do about it.
Balance[]
tba
Imbalance[]
A Vorpald Blade was being overturned in his grasp, the emerald knife tainted brown from use.
Gale began turning it between his fingers, not caring if it'll nick him or not - it didn't, years of practice keeping the blade from harming him. He didn't try anything, expecting Shadow to stop him, but remembered he didn't have that problem anymore.
The blade was spun around and stabbed into flesh.
He didn't even feel anything, been through way too much pain for that. He watched the crimson liquid seep out onto gray in apathy, slowly pushing down the knife. Finally, finally, a sharp pain ran up his arm, his grip loosening as he breathed through gritted teeth.- then oddly enough, void filled the wound.
-Have you forgotten I'm here?
What? What are you-
-Hmph, nice that the thing is gone.
Buzz off, you have a new host now.
-Oh really? Voidwalker.
...what?
-Hmph, so you really went that far with ignoring-
Norishina Kee.
The annoyed ghost of the pseudo-elemental stood before him, having been forcefully kicked out.
The Ivory Fairy glared, "Now leave you sod."
"You could be nicer-"
"BLOODY HELL, JUST LEAVE."
The second the void elemental left he took the pleasure of brutefully cutting out the void tainted flesh, wrapping the wound with a cloth. I'm not a voidwalker, never.
Yet fate, as usual, was against him.
Balance[]
tba
Imbalance[]
Gale had flopped backward onto his bed, wings folded uncomfortably and hands folded over his chest. He raised the wrist he cut earlier, gazing at the blood soaked bandaging boredly before lowering it.
The trauma hadn't even overcome him - it seemed that the pain managed to distract him, the only good thing that came out of this, besides punishing himself for things that most would say didn't matter anymore.
He sighed, continuing to push down that fear, that underlying fear of the dark, of losing who mattered to you, of things he couldn't quite put his finger on.
Eventually, the fairy turned into a cat, curling its tail over its face and letting the loneliness get to him.
The walls of reality came crashing down.
His scream was muffled by the blankets, yet on and on memories, grotesque and unnatural ones, flooded his mind.
Aly being killed by himself.
His own children cowering before him.
The Void pulsating, a maniacal smile beginning to spread over his face. Because he could do it, he could kill them, he could hurt them, he would be in control-
Gale held back another scream, inhaling and exhaling to sort memories from reality.
But these memories - these nightmares - were so vivid, and so real, and so terrible…
He hadn't even noticed he was trembling, just tried to push the image out of his mind.
Breathing heavily, he sat up, staring out the window, focusing on the passing clouds until he finally calmed down. Eventually, his breathing finally resumed a normal rate, but as he returned to his spot on the blanket, he couldn't help but wonder.
How long can I handle this?
Balance[]
Void tentacles were lashing about the room, much to Shadow’s dismay - Jade was doing all she could do to thwart her. After all, it was one way to abuse herself.
It’s like you want me to torture you.
She didn’t respond, only sending a tentacle at herself… which Shadow made her dodge.
Idiot. Hurting yourself is weak-
If it’s so weak, then how come you stop me? Don’t you like it when I suffer?
Well, I can’t have such a valuable pawn die.
If you think I’m a pawn, then you’re losing this game.
Sharp tongue. Not so brave when you’re tortured, huh?
-Frankly, she gets out of control.
Get out of my head!
Get out of her head!
Jade’s eyes widened in surprise, her losing control of the Void tentacles for just a second, before she quickly took hold of them, smashing a certain picture on her mantelpiece. A smiling Hunter and Jade fell to the ground, quickly being absorbed by the darkness.
Yes, I do get out of control. Out of your control. You think I’m so playable, Shadow? Then how am I a Voidwalker? How did I resist your attempts to make me a puppet? How am I not dead yet?
Well, I have to say your becoming a Voidwalker wasn’t part of my plan, but I don’t want you to become a puppet, and I don’t want you to die - after all, why take control of someone who’s already exactly what I want?
What do you mean by that?
I mean you’re already right where I want you.
I-I’m not.
Well, you’re certainly not going back to being the Prodigy, are you?
I’m done with that, I was done a long time ago. I hated every second of it-
And you prefer this. Voidwalker. Enemy. Puppet Master. Villain. Murderer. Psychopath. Survivor.
I… no, I don’t.
Liar, as well. Even to yourself. You know you prefer being the villain to the victim - who doesn’t? Yet you took it too far… you took it to me. So you are in control… and I’m happy about it.
Jade couldn’t respond… and part of her didn’t want to.
After all, Shadow didn’t always have to lie to manipulate her. Telling the truth worked just fine.
Imbalance[]
A blanket covered the cat-form of him, another cat snuggled under the blankets giving him company. Aly had come to check on him earlier, deciding to stay at seeing the state Gale was in.
Alone.
Empty.
Broken.
All of them could be used to describe him.
He was lonely to an extent that shouldn't be possible. Even around Aly, he knew wasn't like her, and that he'll never be like her. Sure, he might not have Elemental Balance right now but he was still an ivory, a curse.
He felt alone even when he was told he wasn't, to the point his brief self-isolation didn't just feel like a punishment - it feels like torture. People had always acted differently around him, even his family, despite the fact that he was just like them inside... especially now he was rid of Elemental Balance. What made it worse was the fact he needed someone to welcome him, someone to help him overcome the trauma he received in trade.
He felt like he had done something wrong every minute he stayed alive, worsened by the whispers of trauma that seeped into his thoughts, every glare or look being shot at him throughout that day feeling a hundred times more worse.
Yet what nearly drove him to the edge of his sanity was the fact somewhere within his thoughts: he felt like he deserve it. He was a monster, an abomination, something that should've been drowned in a well the second it was born, only doing worse throughout his life. He deserved Jade's trauma more than she did, deserved to carry a burden more than anyone did.
And nothing can stop him from feeling that way, especially not now.
Now? It was only worse as if Aly wasn't even there. Every minute the fear of the dark worsened, till the point all he wanted to do was run. Every time it felt like too much, he kept considering ending this now, stopping it all with the cut of a blade - only the fact it would destroy Aly kept him from doing it.
He continued to embrace the fear, allowing it to torment him.
He deserved it.
Balance[]
P-please… stop.
No begging. Show me you’re powerful. Show me you’re deserving of my attention. Fight back.
The only response Jade had was an internal scream of indignation- Shadow had to stop.
The darkness was truly closing in now, far too real, and far too dangerous.
The face that haunted her every waking moment? Not the Puppet Master, not Void, not even Hunter.
Herself.
She didn’t want to be evil, didn’t want to be cruel, didn’t want to be like Shadow… but she’d gone too far down the road. There was too much poison inside her, and the only way to let it out was to inflict it on others.
Yet how do you hurt a nightmare in your mind?
Jade stabbed at herself again, too exhausted to care when Shadow forced her to put the knife down. She was helpless - and she was either going to live with that or pretend to obey. And frankly, the latter was much more enticing.
Fine. What do you want?
What do I want? I’m helping you. I want you to hurt, to kill, to torture. Like I do.
That’s not very hard.
Oh really? What if you were torturing him?
An image flashed through Jade’s mind, an image that made her feel far too much. But more importantly, it made something clear in her mind - that Shadow wanted Hunter to die.
I would torture him, for making me care, but he’s long gone. You killed him. You killed everyone. You want to transform me? Bring it on, b*tch.
Jade smiled at the sounds of annoyance in her mind, but all of her triumph was quickly blown out of her mind with three scalding words.
You’re already transformed.
I’m not the evil psychopath you think I am, alright?
Really? How many people die you kill? How many families have you torn apart? How many people lie awake at night, hoping for your death? You’re a monster.
A monster. She… she was, wasn’t she? Faces flashed through her mind, pleas whispered in her ears, all of which she’d destroy without hesitation.
I am.
There we go.
Imbalance[]
Earth Magic - his Earth Magic - cast a green shine on his hand as a flower formed and bloomed.
He was alone again, no longer shapeshifted and sitting on the ground.
The fairy gazed at the plant boredly, before crushing it in his grasp.
A life destroyed.
Just like he wanted to do to himself.
Unlike elemental balance, his hate didn't make anything better. Maybe love... what was love anyhow? After so many years of hate and emotionlessness, was he even capable? It didn't matter, it wouldn't change anything, he would still be a monster.
Tears trickled down his face, being wiped away by a gloved hand.
Why did life hurt so much?
So much anger, so much hate, it was the lack of love itself that had kept him alive, allowed him to ignore the pain since he took it out on other ten times fold. Even when there was love he was force to smother it out with unreasonable hatred, even act of affection hollow and fake. Yet without Shadow, there was no need for that.
He felt... empty.
He was just Shadow's hollow puppet, there wasn't a trace of emotion left in him without her. He could always try to care... to attempt the impossible thing called love, but was there even reason for it? Would it shut out the trama the way the hate shut out Shadow? Would it even matter when the last two days were over?
He didn't know.
But he guess he could... try.
Maybe he'll even feel a bit less lonely.
That last thought was crushed by him hissing angrily at himself. With the amount of times he'd been betrayed and hated, that was impossible. All of this was impossible, all of this was some lie he was weaving together because he still hadn't gotten over a little girl dying-
He was stopped in his train of thought, trying to shut out the image of the one person who had tried so hard to drag him back to humanity.
Faith.
”Gale…?”
”Leave me alone,” the fairy practically spat, furiously scrubbing his tears away.
”I chose to wait for you. I won’t leave you alone until you can…”
Her voice faded, the little girl inspecting Gale, frowning. “What happened? Why are you crying? Where are we?”
“The war’s over, Faith.”
A tiny grin broke out on her face. “Gale, are you lonely?”
The word was choked out, barely a hoarse whisper. “Very.”
Faith inclined her head. “Connor moved on, you know. He’s waiting for me. But I stayed. For you. So make this worth it.”
”I…”
”Please?”
He held her ghostly gaze for a second before shaking his head, muttering, “I can’t.”
”Then try, what other choice is there?”
“Leave…” the fairy whispered. “Now.”
Faith shook her head sadly, giving him a tiny smile before she faded away - and a message.
”Say hello to them for me. But… you’re never really alone, you know. I’ll be back.”
Yet he was alone.
And he was already dreading the ghost's return.
Balance[]
An insane laugh.
And another.
And another.
Jade wasn’t really sure why she was laughing, but at this point, she didn’t understand herself at all.
You get used to being insane after a while.
The hysterical laughs morphed into barely concealed screams, her whispering a few words under her breath to calm herself. It was silly, really, relying on a lullaby to keep herself calm, but it was necessary.
What are you doing?
Humming a lullaby, I think that’s pretty obvious.
…but why-
Oh, I don’t know, maybe because it’s the only way to keep me sane, at least for a little while. Thanks to you.
The Voidwalker found herself pacing the forest, taking deep breaths, hands covering her face.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
You killed him, you know.
I’m not an idiot, you can’t lie to me that easily.
But I’m not lying.
A rush of memories flooded her mind, memories she’d fought to keep back to preserve herself… yet now those protective walls were crashing down.
Her own sword plunging into her brother’s chest, his face of pure pain and love, smiling through the blood and tears, his chest falling still.
Jade found herself sitting with her back pressed against a tree so tightly the bark began to leave markings, her hands wrapped around her knees and head buried in between them.
But everywhere she looked she saw his face.
All she heard was the one voice that would never leave her.
There was no escape.
Imbalance[]
He pulled the covers over his face, curling into a ball under the blanket. He wrapped his tail around him, the tip resting in front of his face as a door creaked upon.
"Gale, you can't mope in bed forever."
Something along the lines of "I can and I will" was muttered from beneath the blanket, the fairy clearly not wanting to come out.
Aly sighed, sitting down on the bed and lifting the blanket as to meet his gaze, "Are you going to talk about it?"
The Ivory looked at her, tail flicking irritably, "I prefer not to."
"Yet you should," she said while putting her free hand over his, "because if it bothers you this much, then you care, and if you care, I have a feeling there's something you're not telling me."
"I don't care, it's just... hard to ignore." Gale responded with a sigh.
"Sounds like you're lying to me."
"I'm not."
"Denial, eh?"
He stared at her, "Aly, I'm not lying... just not mentioning things."
"Same thing as lying," she responded with an arched eyebrow, "and what are you not mentioning?"
"It's nothing."
"I don't believe that."
He sighed, sitting up, "Aly, just leave me alone."
The Ice Fairy crossed her arms, "No."
"Alyss, leave me alone."
"Don't you dare Alyss me-"
"Don't I dare?" His amber gaze looked bored, "Oh I dare, Alyss, and I'll Alyss you all day unless you leave me alone."
She stared at him for a solid five minutes before getting up, "Fine, little rat."
"What did you call me?"
Yet she already went out the door, it clicking shut behind her.
And as usual, I get a taste of my own medicine.
The Ivory stared at the window, noting that the sun was already setting - and he still hasn't eaten. The second day was already nearing an end, and he still hadn't found a way to deal with Jade's trauma.
It was only a matter of time until it struck again, this time more viciously then the last.
Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was the faces of those he loved.
When he opened them, there they stood again.
Dying.
In pain.
For him.
And he could do nothing.
Suddenly he was in a shadowed forest, holding back tears, a screech of pain escaping his mouth. His own name called like it was that of a monster’s.
The aggressor becoming the victim.
Pain was an afterthought now, thrown aside under the sheer weight of the fear and hopelessness. A single touch, a single word could set him off now, send him to worlds that only existed in his mind. Worlds of darkness strangling him. Worlds of screams and sobs and laughs and pleas that came from something much darker inside him. Worlds where he could only watch while the only person he had left died in front of him, for him, and there was nothing left. No purpose. No joy. No strength. Just the tears that could never fall.
And the dying face of the last person he would ever care about.
Everywhere he went.
He was helpless.
He was terrified.
He was alone.
Balance[]
The darkness was welcoming almost, her scars didn’t burn, ancient memories didn’t come, nothing.
But she could remember a little bit.
The laughs, the pain, the screams… all were muted, muffled, quieted, but she could still recall them.
There we go.
You were scared of the dark, were you not?
Was. But I’m not-
At least until the time ends.
Shut up.
You know, you weren’t scared of the dark. You were scared of-
I was not.
Me. You were scared of me, you’ve always been, you still are.
Leave me alone.
And when those memories come flooding back, do you think you’ll be better or worse-
I said LEAVE. I can handle you, I’ve been doing so for the past thirty years. You’re nothing.
I’m much more than nothing. After all… I can make you remember.
Jade inhaled sharply, hands instinctively going to her head as an image flashed through her mind.
A scream of fear, fear of the darkness, of Shadow. Morphing into a scream of rage, at her enemies, at the world. Which became a scream of insanity, brokenness, helplessness.
Which became her brother. Dying. Gone. Never again.
Everything she did…
Anything she did…
It would never be enough.
Imbalance[]
Breathe.
Just breathe.
The Ivory Fairy tried to focus on every breath, trying to drag himself back to reality.
He didn't care about Hunter, Jade did - but he did hate him.
Every ounce of conscious thought was channeled into hating Hunter beyond belief, slowly pushing the fairy out of the trap trauma had set for him.
Hunter was not the only person he cared about, he didn't even care about him. He was not helpless, he was not scared, he was not alon-
Yet he was alone.
He's always been alone.
The trauma began to seep back into his thoughts, like a wolf preying on a lamb, worsened by the fact the room was darkening with the setting sun.
A slap brought him back to reality.
"OW!" He snapped to attention, rubbing his cheek where he had been hit. Standing furiously in front of him was Aly, arms crossed and what could be a glint of murderous intent in her gaze. The Ivory Fairy was mildly intimidated, "What did I do?"
"Lie to me about that little trade you had with Jade."
"I didn't mention it, not lie," he responded, still rubbing his cheek, "and how did you find out about that?"
"You're scared of the dark. It's obvious, and you sure as hell weren't scared of the dark before. I know Hilda's still mad at you so I decided to ask her if she made a wish to get back at you, but I was not expecting this." The Ice Fairy gestured to him, tail lashing angrily.
"You just gestured to all of me..."
"BECAUSE ALL OF YOU IS DIFFERENT."
"I'm still an Ivory."
"But not a fishna."
"I thought you were against calling me that."
"I'm not against calling Shadow that, and when she's gone, you stop being a fishna."
"Is Elemental Balance really that important?" He said with a sigh.
"Yes," she snapped in response, "when it means you might die without it if Hilda didn't think to include something about that in the wish. I'm surprised she did you that favor, to be honest."
Gale paused, looking up at her, "Is this what this is about? Still afraid of losing me, eh?"
"Shut up, that's not the highest concern right now."
"And what is the highest concern?" The Ivory asked with an arched eyebrow.
"THAT YOU WERE A TOTAL IDIOT AND FAILED TO THINK THINGS THROUGH. You're a total wreck, I had to make excuses for you all day, and you're food depriving yourself again. If you're idiotic enough to do this then you're bound to get yourself killed."
"We're going in circles," Gale muttered under his breath.
"I HEARD THAT." The Ice Warden sighed, curling her tail and fidgeting with it, "Alright, I admit it, I don't want to lose you. You already spend barely any time with us and if something were to happen to you..." She rubbed her face tiredly with an ungloved hand, "I don't think I'll be able to bear it."
"Aly..."
She threw up her hands in defeat, allowing her tail to lash freely, "Alright, I'll stop it. This ends by tomorrow, right?"
"...yes."
The Ice Warden plopped down next to him on the bed, wrapping her arms around him in a hug, startling the fairy.
"Aly, don't-"
"Just this once?"
He was honestly going to push her away, the gesture simply felt... unnatural, and he simply couldn't understand why anyone would want a hug. Yet at the same time, he was reminded of Faith, and felt a lot less... lonely. So, with a sigh, he replied, "Fine, but just this once, okay?"
She simply smiled, tail intertwining with his. "If you say so."
The hug felt nice, but it wasn't long until darkness fully filled the room.
Panic filled him, heart rate quickening as the shadows cast and flickered. At this point, Aly had fallen asleep next to him, meaning he was alone.
He was always alone.
Balance[]
Every shadow on the wall was a new enemy.
Every gust of wind or switch in white noise was a voice reveling in her destruction.
It was only when a pair of arms wrapped around her did Jade move at all, jumping away and screaming, “Get away from me!”
Korathius sighed, forcing on a smile, yet his normally cheerful icy blue eyes were sad. “Just this once? I… I’m tired of hearing you scream. I’m tired of having to stop that knife from entering your flesh. I’m tired of this new you.”
“This was always me,” was her only response. “And you’ve been too stupid to realize it.”
“You haven’t been screaming anymore. All you ever do nowadays is sit there-“
He gestured to the chair in the corner of the room.
“-and then you’re lost in another world. Come back, Jade, please.”
”Sorry, but you’re speaking to Jade. The real one. And Jade says leave.”
There was silence, the Voidwalker soon slipping back into her mind.
Stop. It. Now.
Little puppet, you really think I’ll just let you go?
Imbalance[]
Nightmares.
Only nightmares.
He watched in horror as the world dissolved around him, becoming a looming black mess. One by one, people fell.
He grabbed the hand of the final person, face indistinct and blurred. Yet it was someone he loved, someone he loved more than anything…
”Stay with me! Or let me fall…”
His grip began to loosen.
”…please!”
The person slipped out of his grasp, and darkness consumed him too. Pain, heartache, and hatred left him in the form of light, leaving only an empty husk.
Just as his heart made one last thump, strings of Void wrapped around his arms, his legs, every part of his body, until he was part puppet, part captive. They invaded everything, until he was nothing but a part of Void’s machine.
As he lost consciousness, a new nightmare began.
He was staring at his own reflection in a puddle of light, yet he could see nothing through the ripples. As he looked closer, drops of black hit the pool of white-yellow over and over, raining darkness causing each distortion.
Then the pain struck.
He couldn’t scream - every time he tried to, Void flooded his system, poisoning him with the pain of guilt.
The puddle of light faded, becoming a black mirror clear as glass…
And he saw too many faces.
He was the Puppet Master, Hunter, a little girl smiling, a soldier begging for mercy, but who was he really?
Gale woke up.
As he forced himself to a sitting position, a bit of joy filled him for a second, joy that the nightmares were finally over.
Then he remembered the pain of life.
Before he could go down his negative train of thought, however, a hand touched his. The fairy flinched at the gesture, tensing up slightly, before realizing it was Aly.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," the Ivory said through gritted teeth, trying to get himself to believe his own lie.
Aly, in turn, arched an eyebrow, "You were crying for your maymay again."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Really?" She asked in a teasing manner, but quickly returned to being serious, "This is the last day, right?"
"Yes." He said the word with an air of relief, shifting uncomfortably. He doubted if he should actually be relieved... was Elemental Balance really better then this? Yet did it really matter?
Aly sighed, somewhat oblivious towards his current turmoil, "When I get hands on Hilda..."
"Don't bother," he bluntly informed her, "it won't end well."
"I know but... she, ugh, it's just disgusting that she would ever..."
Gale didn't answer, preoccupied by his thoughts. There was something he was forgetting... something important.
"Shouldn't you be worrying over the kids? And Storm for that matter - he's quite something, I'll give him that."
Aly rolled her eyes before squeezing his hand slightly, "Are you sure you'll be alright?"
"I'll be fine."
"That's what you always say."
"And it's always true."
She sighed, rolled her eyes once again, and got up, exiting the room but casting one last glance before closing the door. The second she left the Ivory immediately glanced under the bed, grabbing the wooden box below it. What was he looking for? He wasn't sure, but it was important enough that he had to find it before he got Elemental Balance back, before Shadow could...
He shook his head to clear his thoughts, opening the cedar box. There were multiple vials, a spare pair of gloves, and Wingblade. Not what he was looking for.
The fairy was about to close the box when he noticed - something was caught under the fabric at the bottom of the box. He carefully shoved the assortment of items aside, prying open the fabric and finding a little journal.
...how is this important- The pain came rushing back.
Every day a little boy used to write a journal.
Every day that boy would avoid writing about the elements.
Every day Shadow would force that boy to write that one painful truth, the truth that he would never truly be anything more then a puppet, never be loved, and will always be alone.
How was he never afraid of Shadow?
Why did he ever listen to the elemental?
Why would he ever want Elemental Balance back?
The trauma struck again, mixing with his own to the point the two were indistinguishable.