Part 1[]
Zane: I never signed up for this, but okay.
Alvin: Why do I have to witness this? Who is Aizawa?
The Ultimate battle between Hope’s two true loves! Who will win, who will lose? It’s all up to you!
Chris:
You think you’re so cool
Just because you’re a stupid pro hero
But you’re really a fool!
Trying to steal my woman
You’ll regret it all
Once I whack you with a flaming pan!
Aizawa:
16? I’m 34
You really think she likes you?
Hah, she actually has feelings for me. I’m not trying to steal her from you, and anyways, she’s not property.
So stop spittin’ lies
And start spittin’ facts!
Zane: *cheers* CHRIS! CHRIS!
Alvin: Why am I here? *checks the weather forecast* DANG IT! NO TORNADO WILL COME AND RIP THIS PLACE APART!
Zane: *uses his Astral Arm and punches Alvin in the arm playfully*
Luke: *comes and sits next to Alvin and Zane in the theater and eats some popcorn* What did I miss?
Alvin: A little bit of Aizawa and Chris simping over Harper.
Zane: *rolls his eyes* Can we please keep watching this?
Luke: Yes. I need to add something to my blackmail collection.
*Zane and Alvin stare at Luke*
Luke: *watches Chris and Aizawa while eating more popcorn*
Harper: *sits on her couch eating ice cream while watching the rap battle*
Kira: *looks down from the Cherry Lotus Realm* "What has my daughter become..."
Ooo, some sick burns! What will they come up with next?
Chris:
Shut up President Mic! Nobody cares!
You’re just from a stupid anime
That nobody bares!
(awwww, how mean….)
But anyways, back to you, Aizawa.
I am spittin’ facts
And you wanna know what those facts are?
That you should back off
Because she’s mine!
Rose: *appears behind Zane* What's this about?
Zane: AH! *falls off chair* Ow...don't creep up behind me like that.
Luke: Something to add to my blackmail collection.
Rose: *stares at Luke* I'm sorry, what-
Alvin: ONE OF YOU JUST LOSE ALREADY SO I CAN LEAVE!
Luke: Shh! I can't hear! *scribbles on notepad*
Aizawa:
Don’t insult Mic
He will willingly break your eardrums with his quirk, you know.
And I think that would be quite hilarious
And wow
You’re telling me to back off?
You’re the obsessive one
Who legit acts like a yandere!
And a rap of insults! How sad…..
Luke: *snaps some pictures and starts videotaping*
Zane: Uh...
Chris:
Yandere?
I’m not even from Japan!
I’m a dragon
Who can change forms whenever I want!
This isn’t a quirk
This isn’t magic
It’s just a power
I was born with
Unlike you!
Your pro hero name is “Eraserhead”
Well I say
Erase your head!
Aizawa:
Pfft, your insults are pathetic
You’re trying to burn me
When you’re really burning yourself!
I didn’t choose for my hero name to be Eraserhead
It was what President Mic decided for it to be
Because I didn’t have any ideas!
And guess what
You’re not even real
Because dragons don’t exist
And you’re one of their kind!
And that was the final round, folks! Who wins and gets the honor to be Harper’s boyfriend? Who knows? It’s all up to you!
Alvin: Alright, time to lea-
Harper: *walks in* “I’ll have them do a second round if you really want them to!~”
Alvin: *glares at Harper* DON'T. YOU. DARE.
Part 2[]
Round 2!
Alvin: Why am I here?
Zane: 'Cause Harper threatened us to come or else she would haunt us in our dreams.
Luke: *Pulls out 30 folders labeled "Blackmail Collection"*
Zane: Uh, how many people on the island can you blackmail with that?
Luke: Anyone who lived for at least 10 seconds.
*Everyone looks at Luke*
Chris:
Bruh
Are you callin’ me fake?
I’m legit standing right in front of you
Are you blind?
But anyways, you e-boy
Let’s get this over with
So I can be done with you!
Rose: *facepalms*
Zane: C'mon Chris! You can do better than that!
Rose: *looks at Zane* He really can't.
Aizawa:
E-boy? Oh, I’m so offended
You think I’m blind?
Well, you are too blind to see that Harper is hopelessly in love with me!
So go get a new girlfriend
I hope she doesn’t ditch you like Hope did!
Woah! Such a hurtful burn! But that’s what we like here! Continue!
Alvin: Hey, maybe this won't be half-bad! *eats some popcorn*
Chris:
You’re asking me to find a new girlfriend?
No, never!
Harper is mine
And only mine!
She’s never been in love
With a idiot like you
So why don’t you go ahead
And admit defeat!
Aizawa:
As I told you before, she isn’t property
That I’m stealing from you.
And are you sure about that?
How come she blushes every time she sees me?
How come she’s dreamt about her future with me?
So maybe you want to reconsider.
And I’ll never admit defeat
To the likes of you!
Zane: Why do I even bother rooting for Chris?